Captain Hindsight Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I transfered schools this year due in part to roomate issues at my old school and now i find myself in a possibly worse situation. Because im a transfer i got put with a bunch of randoms. 4 people total, Myself and transfer from OCC, an exchange student from singapore and a 5th year senior. For the first week or two everything was fine Myself and the kid from singapore got along pretty well and the guy from OCC is a big party guy but pretty true blue and a good guy and the 5th year senior he was never around so whatever. The real trouble started when i started to realize i was being taken advantage of by having the only car in the apartment. My roommates asked me to take them everywhere, Target, wegamns, AT&T, Walmart... Beer Runs have way thru parties. No gas money ever, just really being taken advantage of. Normally i wouldnt care i have to go shopping too sometimes but we once spent 45 mins at target looking at a trash can (i wish i was kidding) That made me late for meeting up some friends to watch a Bills game (preseason) and when i have to change my entire plans and am late for something because of someone else not respecting the fact i have to go when i say i have to go, I'm gonna be a little upset One Night we had an apartemnt meeting to discuss our grivences with each other (why, I dont know) and i brought this up. I said that i wasnt comfortable A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. They said well we dont have meal plans so the only way we eat is if we can get to wegmans and can cook (Why its my responsibility to make sure that happens is beyond me I got a meal plan so i wouldnt have to worry about that....or not to mention every weekend there is a bus that goes to wegmans) Because I didnt wanna fight about it anymore I said well if we set a day and time and i can make it a part of my schedule then im ok with it. The kid from singapore says he feels totally wronged here and !@#$ed over and if im going to be "bitter" about driving people around then he doesnt want to have anything to do with it.... Ok fine Whatever. I go to bed and he hasnt spoken to me since (besides this morning to accuse me of stealing orange juice) That was a month ago. I'm not going to tell him hey i was wrong let me drive you everywhere Because i get taken advantage of again. S ive just tried to be nice and say hi to him and such and he generally just ignores me. Then the 5th year senior. this kid never put down money for beer or gas ever and would hand out my beer to his friends at parties. Not Keystone or someother cheap ****, Miller High Lifes, Heiniken ect. beer that i have just to enjoy and relax. Beer isnt cheap i'm not made of money i bought it for me not for his friends. So i said something to him about it and he denied denied denied. (Ive seen him do it I lost an entire 30 one night to him giving them away) So he gave someone money to buy him beer one night and i took the liberty of buying a 6 pack to just sort of make it even. Now ill admit prolly not the best idea so he finds out gets pissed at me threatens to kick my ass ect ect so i go out and buy him a 6 pack and say look dude im sorry here no hard feelings. He takes it then two days later (today) tells me thats not enough pay up or else. Everytime i walk out into the living room/Kitchen aera i get dirty looks. I cant evn leave my room without feeling threatened and the only time i do leave is to go eat or go to class. How can i live like this? I cant leave my own room without feeling unsafe/unwanted/threatened ect I dont know anyone at this school becuase i just started here and frankly i dont even see any more options. I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Thanks in advance HR
Stl Bills Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I transfered schools this year due in part to roomate issues at my old school and now i find myself in a possibly worse situation. Because im a transfer i got put with a bunch of randoms. 4 people total, Myself and transfer from OCC, an exchange student from singapore and a 5th year senior. For the first week or two everything was fine Myself and the kid from singapore got along pretty well and the guy from OCC is a big party guy but pretty true blue and a good guy and the 5th year senior he was never around so whatever. The real trouble started when i started to realize i was being taken advantage of by having the only car in the apartment. My roommates asked me to take them everywhere, Target, wegamns, AT&T, Walmart... Beer Runs have way thru parties. No gas money ever, just really being taken advantage of. Normally i wouldnt care i have to go shopping too sometimes but we once spent 45 mins at target looking at a trash can (i wish i was kidding) That made me late for meeting up some friends to watch a Bills game (preseason) and when i have to change my entire plans and am late for something because of someone else not respecting the fact i have to go when i say i have to go, I'm gonna be a little upset One Night we had an apartemnt meeting to discuss our grivences with each other (why, I dont know) and i brought this up. I said that i wasnt comfortable A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. They said well we dont have meal plans so the only way we eat is if we can get to wegmans and can cook (Why its my responsibility to make sure that happens is beyond me I got a meal plan so i wouldnt have to worry about that....or not to mention every weekend there is a bus that goes to wegmans) Because I didnt wanna fight about it anymore I said well if we set a day and time and i can make it a part of my schedule then im ok with it. The kid from singapore says he feels totally wronged here and !@#$ed over and if im going to be "bitter" about driving people around then he doesnt want to have anything to do with it.... Ok fine Whatever. I go to bed and he hasnt spoken to me since (besides this morning to accuse me of stealing orange juice) That was a month ago. I'm not going to tell him hey i was wrong let me drive you everywhere Because i get taken advantage of again. S ive just tried to be nice and say hi to him and such and he generally just ignores me. Then the 5th year senior. this kid never put down money for beer or gas ever and would hand out my beer to his friends at parties. Not Keystone or someother cheap ****, Miller High Lifes, Heiniken ect. beer that i have just to enjoy and relax. Beer isnt cheap i'm not made of money i bought it for me not for his friends. So i said something to him about it and he denied denied denied. (Ive seen him do it I lost an entire 30 one night to him giving them away) So he gave someone money to buy him beer one night and i took the liberty of buying a 6 pack to just sort of make it even. Now ill admit prolly not the best idea so he finds out gets pissed at me threatens to kick my ass ect ect so i go out and buy him a 6 pack and say look dude im sorry here no hard feelings. He takes it then two days later (today) tells me thats not enough pay up or else. Everytime i walk out into the living room/Kitchen aera i get dirty looks. I cant evn leave my room without feeling threatened and the only time i do leave is to go eat or go to class. How can i live like this? I cant leave my own room without feeling unsafe/unwanted/threatened ect I dont know anyone at this school becuase i just started here and frankly i dont even see any more options. I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Thanks in advance HR Dude, so let me get this straight....you drive that douche bag around and you go to get him beer buy a 6 pack for yourself and then when he finds out you buy him a six pack back now he wants more? Fug that guy! I learned a long time ago that people don't take advantage of you if you don't let them......I'd say its my car, f off....I'll give you a ride if I'm going that way otherwise get to fuggin walking. Its not your problem these douchbags don't have a car, a mealplan, or any fuggin manners.
aussiew Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Dude, so let me get this straight....you drive that douche bag around and you go to get him beer buy a 6 pack for yourself and then when he finds out you buy him a six pack back now he wants more? Fug that guy! I learned a long time ago that people don't take advantage of you if you don't let them......I'd say its my car, f off....I'll give you a ride if I'm going that way otherwise get to fuggin walking. Its not your problem these douchbags don't have a car, a mealplan, or any fuggin manners. Not quite the way I would communicate the message - but I agree. You need to calmly explain that they don't live with their parents any more.
Dante Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Sounds like your rooming with a bunch of self centered !@#$s. It also sounds like you have gone above and beyond trying to make the situation work. Always easy to give advice when on the outside but it seems like to me your only option is to play hardball. Drive them no where. If they want to drive tell them buy their own car. By only your own stuff(beer, food etc). Make no deals or bartering. Just pay your share of the rent and thats it! If your that bad of a guy after words let them buy you out of the lease and you can be on your way. I've had a couple room mates and one live in nephew and it never seems to work out. Couldn't wait to get out of any of those situations. The more you give the more its taken for granted.
Jerry Christ Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Dude, so let me get this straight....you drive that douche bag around and you go to get him beer buy a 6 pack for yourself and then when he finds out you buy him a six pack back now he wants more? Fug that guy! I learned a long time ago that people don't take advantage of you if you don't let them......I'd say its my car, f off....I'll give you a ride if I'm going that way otherwise get to fuggin walking. Its not your problem these douchbags don't have a car, a mealplan, or any fuggin manners. agrees, they are just taking advantage of your hospitality. Honestly, I would either just do you and not worry about it. Or if the problem becomes big enough and you feel like they want you out, I'd make them buy me out of my lease (which I don't think they will if they can't afford anything). and finally if it seriously this bad, I would talk to the landlord and see about getting out of there and see if they have any other options for you
RayFinkle Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I transfered schools this year due in part to roomate issues at my old school and now i find myself in a possibly worse situation. Because im a transfer i got put with a bunch of randoms. 4 people total, Myself and transfer from OCC, an exchange student from singapore and a 5th year senior. For the first week or two everything was fine Myself and the kid from singapore got along pretty well and the guy from OCC is a big party guy but pretty true blue and a good guy and the 5th year senior he was never around so whatever. The real trouble started when i started to realize i was being taken advantage of by having the only car in the apartment. My roommates asked me to take them everywhere, Target, wegamns, AT&T, Walmart... Beer Runs have way thru parties. No gas money ever, just really being taken advantage of. Normally i wouldnt care i have to go shopping too sometimes but we once spent 45 mins at target looking at a trash can (i wish i was kidding) That made me late for meeting up some friends to watch a Bills game (preseason) and when i have to change my entire plans and am late for something because of someone else not respecting the fact i have to go when i say i have to go, I'm gonna be a little upset One Night we had an apartemnt meeting to discuss our grivences with each other (why, I dont know) and i brought this up. I said that i wasnt comfortable A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. They said well we dont have meal plans so the only way we eat is if we can get to wegmans and can cook (Why its my responsibility to make sure that happens is beyond me I got a meal plan so i wouldnt have to worry about that....or not to mention every weekend there is a bus that goes to wegmans) Because I didnt wanna fight about it anymore I said well if we set a day and time and i can make it a part of my schedule then im ok with it. The kid from singapore says he feels totally wronged here and !@#$ed over and if im going to be "bitter" about driving people around then he doesnt want to have anything to do with it.... Ok fine Whatever. I go to bed and he hasnt spoken to me since (besides this morning to accuse me of stealing orange juice) That was a month ago. I'm not going to tell him hey i was wrong let me drive you everywhere Because i get taken advantage of again. S ive just tried to be nice and say hi to him and such and he generally just ignores me. Then the 5th year senior. this kid never put down money for beer or gas ever and would hand out my beer to his friends at parties. Not Keystone or someother cheap ****, Miller High Lifes, Heiniken ect. beer that i have just to enjoy and relax. Beer isnt cheap i'm not made of money i bought it for me not for his friends. So i said something to him about it and he denied denied denied. (Ive seen him do it I lost an entire 30 one night to him giving them away) So he gave someone money to buy him beer one night and i took the liberty of buying a 6 pack to just sort of make it even. Now ill admit prolly not the best idea so he finds out gets pissed at me threatens to kick my ass ect ect so i go out and buy him a 6 pack and say look dude im sorry here no hard feelings. He takes it then two days later (today) tells me thats not enough pay up or else. Everytime i walk out into the living room/Kitchen aera i get dirty looks. I cant evn leave my room without feeling threatened and the only time i do leave is to go eat or go to class. How can i live like this? I cant leave my own room without feeling unsafe/unwanted/threatened ect I dont know anyone at this school becuase i just started here and frankly i dont even see any more options. I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Thanks in advance HR Dude, In the time it took you to write this, you could have driven me to Wegmans and back. Also, please stop wacking off in my tube socks. Signed, Asian Dude
JoeFerguson Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I transfered schools this year due in part to roomate issues at my old school and now i find myself in a possibly worse situation. Because im a transfer i got put with a bunch of randoms. 4 people total, Myself and transfer from OCC, an exchange student from singapore and a 5th year senior. For the first week or two everything was fine Myself and the kid from singapore got along pretty well and the guy from OCC is a big party guy but pretty true blue and a good guy and the 5th year senior he was never around so whatever. The real trouble started when i started to realize i was being taken advantage of by having the only car in the apartment. My roommates asked me to take them everywhere, Target, wegamns, AT&T, Walmart... Beer Runs have way thru parties. No gas money ever, just really being taken advantage of. Normally i wouldnt care i have to go shopping too sometimes but we once spent 45 mins at target looking at a trash can (i wish i was kidding) That made me late for meeting up some friends to watch a Bills game (preseason) and when i have to change my entire plans and am late for something because of someone else not respecting the fact i have to go when i say i have to go, I'm gonna be a little upset One Night we had an apartemnt meeting to discuss our grivences with each other (why, I dont know) and i brought this up. I said that i wasnt comfortable A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. They said well we dont have meal plans so the only way we eat is if we can get to wegmans and can cook (Why its my responsibility to make sure that happens is beyond me I got a meal plan so i wouldnt have to worry about that....or not to mention every weekend there is a bus that goes to wegmans) Because I didnt wanna fight about it anymore I said well if we set a day and time and i can make it a part of my schedule then im ok with it. The kid from singapore says he feels totally wronged here and !@#$ed over and if im going to be "bitter" about driving people around then he doesnt want to have anything to do with it.... Ok fine Whatever. I go to bed and he hasnt spoken to me since (besides this morning to accuse me of stealing orange juice) That was a month ago. I'm not going to tell him hey i was wrong let me drive you everywhere Because i get taken advantage of again. S ive just tried to be nice and say hi to him and such and he generally just ignores me. Then the 5th year senior. this kid never put down money for beer or gas ever and would hand out my beer to his friends at parties. Not Keystone or someother cheap ****, Miller High Lifes, Heiniken ect. beer that i have just to enjoy and relax. Beer isnt cheap i'm not made of money i bought it for me not for his friends. So i said something to him about it and he denied denied denied. (Ive seen him do it I lost an entire 30 one night to him giving them away) So he gave someone money to buy him beer one night and i took the liberty of buying a 6 pack to just sort of make it even. Now ill admit prolly not the best idea so he finds out gets pissed at me threatens to kick my ass ect ect so i go out and buy him a 6 pack and say look dude im sorry here no hard feelings. He takes it then two days later (today) tells me thats not enough pay up or else. Everytime i walk out into the living room/Kitchen aera i get dirty looks. I cant evn leave my room without feeling threatened and the only time i do leave is to go eat or go to class. How can i live like this? I cant leave my own room without feeling unsafe/unwanted/threatened ect I dont know anyone at this school becuase i just started here and frankly i dont even see any more options. I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Thanks in advance HR You called a meeting? Just don't drive them anywhere. Problem solved. And buy your own personal fridge.
Captain Hindsight Posted October 14, 2009 Author Posted October 14, 2009 You called a meeting? Just don't drive them anywhere. Problem solved. And buy your own personal fridge. I didnt call it.... singapore did. And i did buy a fridge too I just hate living like this thats all. Like i dont even wanna go take a shower right now bc i can hear them in the common room and there gonna give me a dirty look and its just gonna piss me off
Nervous Guy Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 You just aren't going to change them, so I suggest you take the offensive. There are plenty of ways to drive rommates crazy...goggle it...my favorite is: Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes. http://chainletters.net/chainletters/25-wa...roommate-crazy/
Magox Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I'm not so sure that everything is being told but either way, it's not a desirable situation. I'm afraid at this stage of the game, communication will do no good, seems as if things have deteriorated to the point of no return. I would suggest in trying to get out of the lease some how. Even if you have to pay a penalty, in my view, the home should be your refuge, a place that you can and should be able to feel comfortable. Even if that means borrowing the money, working extra or whatever the case. Get the !@#$ out, you'll be happier.
LongLiveRalph Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Sounds like four real losers to me. Why don't you all pledge Lambda Lambda Lambda. The inevitable party with the Mu's would be the first time you had chicks in the house.
ricojes Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. My personal feeling is that "A" is a little weak and you probably feel that way due to the other factors. As far as loaning your car, I would never do that. You could get royally screwed if anything were to happen. And D can be easily resolved, just let them know your schedule, and give them the number for a taxi service if they take too long. Or plan a certain day and time of the week to designate as shopping night or something. So, the main concern IMO is gas money. So I would just say to them, I have no problem giving you guys a ride (provided I have the time) as long as you chip in for gas. Maybe all the return money from the beer can go towards gas or something. It shouldn't be that big of an issue, you're only talking a couple bucks a week per person. But not taking them anywhere is guaranteed to piss them off....
shrader Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 2. That you transferred due in part to roommates is unacceptable. Don't do that. That right there makes me think there's more to this situation than we're hearing. But anyway, take charge of this situation. They only get a ride somewhere if you offer. Don't cave to any requests. Speak up when you feel you're being wronged. Show these guys that you are not going to let them walk all over you. If they don't like it, too bad.
Ramius Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Tell them they should have thought of how they were going to eat before they went off the meal plan. Helping out is fine, but don't let yourself get taken advantage of anymore. If they need a ride to wegmans, tell them i am going shopping on X day from 4-5pm. If they want to go fine, if not, you're not their taxi service. I know moving sucks, but i'd also look into switching dorms/getting out of your lease, etc. I dont know if you are in campus housing or not, but they are usually pretty accomodating about switching places to live. If you cant leave til the end of the semester, they try to hang out with your friends as much as possible. Your friends will understand the situation.
BUFFALOTONE Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 While we are only getting one side here and you have already moved from one place to the other because of room mates makes me suspect. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Here is my advice: BE A MAN. This is your place that you pay for. You have every right to sit on the sofa and watch TV and use the house that you are entitled too. You want a fridge for personal use then fine. The first thing I would do if they were all sitting out there is crack a beer and sit right next to them. Either they will get used to it or leave, win/win. Not everyone in this world is going to like you, that's how it goes. As long as you are respectful than that's all you can do. And for the 5th year senior who cried over his beer I would have told him to fly a kite.
Gordio Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I transfered schools this year due in part to roomate issues at my old school and now i find myself in a possibly worse situation. Because im a transfer i got put with a bunch of randoms. 4 people total, Myself and transfer from OCC, an exchange student from singapore and a 5th year senior. For the first week or two everything was fine Myself and the kid from singapore got along pretty well and the guy from OCC is a big party guy but pretty true blue and a good guy and the 5th year senior he was never around so whatever. The real trouble started when i started to realize i was being taken advantage of by having the only car in the apartment. My roommates asked me to take them everywhere, Target, wegamns, AT&T, Walmart... Beer Runs have way thru parties. No gas money ever, just really being taken advantage of. Normally i wouldnt care i have to go shopping too sometimes but we once spent 45 mins at target looking at a trash can (i wish i was kidding) That made me late for meeting up some friends to watch a Bills game (preseason) and when i have to change my entire plans and am late for something because of someone else not respecting the fact i have to go when i say i have to go, I'm gonna be a little upset One Night we had an apartemnt meeting to discuss our grivences with each other (why, I dont know) and i brought this up. I said that i wasnt comfortable A) driving around a city that i dont know and putting my car in danger everytime i do that. B) Losing out on gas money C) My roomamtes asking to let them barrow my car when i cant drive for whatever reason. D) Changing MY schedule to accomadte their needs. They said well we dont have meal plans so the only way we eat is if we can get to wegmans and can cook (Why its my responsibility to make sure that happens is beyond me I got a meal plan so i wouldnt have to worry about that....or not to mention every weekend there is a bus that goes to wegmans) Because I didnt wanna fight about it anymore I said well if we set a day and time and i can make it a part of my schedule then im ok with it. The kid from singapore says he feels totally wronged here and !@#$ed over and if im going to be "bitter" about driving people around then he doesnt want to have anything to do with it.... Ok fine Whatever. I go to bed and he hasnt spoken to me since (besides this morning to accuse me of stealing orange juice) That was a month ago. I'm not going to tell him hey i was wrong let me drive you everywhere Because i get taken advantage of again. S ive just tried to be nice and say hi to him and such and he generally just ignores me. Then the 5th year senior. this kid never put down money for beer or gas ever and would hand out my beer to his friends at parties. Not Keystone or someother cheap ****, Miller High Lifes, Heiniken ect. beer that i have just to enjoy and relax. Beer isnt cheap i'm not made of money i bought it for me not for his friends. So i said something to him about it and he denied denied denied. (Ive seen him do it I lost an entire 30 one night to him giving them away) So he gave someone money to buy him beer one night and i took the liberty of buying a 6 pack to just sort of make it even. Now ill admit prolly not the best idea so he finds out gets pissed at me threatens to kick my ass ect ect so i go out and buy him a 6 pack and say look dude im sorry here no hard feelings. He takes it then two days later (today) tells me thats not enough pay up or else. Everytime i walk out into the living room/Kitchen aera i get dirty looks. I cant evn leave my room without feeling threatened and the only time i do leave is to go eat or go to class. How can i live like this? I cant leave my own room without feeling unsafe/unwanted/threatened ect I dont know anyone at this school becuase i just started here and frankly i dont even see any more options. I Dont want to live here but im stuck in a lease....how can i make this bearable or better? Thanks in advance HR You sound like a real prick, why don't you lighten up?
Endzone Animal Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Advice: Share the most mundane details of your tedious existence with complete strangers on a message board, and then do whatever they say.
DrDawkinstein Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 As someone already said, this is one side of the story, and you already left another school for room mate problems. but giving you the benefit of the doubt... i know its easier said than done, but who gives a **** about these guys? dont let them make you feel uncomfortable. YOURE the one with the car. YOURE the one with your own fridge. who cares what happens to or with these other dudes? what was singapore's plan for getting around in America when he decided to come with no car and no meal plan? These dudes would have had to figure something out if you werent around, so dont feel bad about not letting them use your car or being their personal chauffeur. man up and live in your place like you want to. dont let them make you scared to go take a shower because walking by them will be uncomfortable. boo hoo. thats some girl sounding drama. get over it. they will too. doesnt sound like you guys are a group of close friends anyways so who gives a ****? i personally probably would have left them at target just to prove a point. good advice above about giving them a scheduled time if they want to go to wegmans with you. but be clear that you have something to do at a certain time and youre leaving the store at X time. if they give you grief about that, fug em. let them fend for themselves, theyre supposed to be adults. especially the 5th year senior.
Wacka Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 When I was in a dorm about 30 years ago, my neighbor (a french student) asked his roommate to tdrive him at 11 PM to the supermarket for some bottled water (only Perrier was available then). The roommate said"Hey Frenchie, this is the United States, we can drink the tap water here." (The water fountain in the hall was just outside their room). No requests after that.
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