MRM33064 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 A ridiculously good ESPN-related connection of mine has assured me an audience with Chuckie - Jon Gruden himself - this Monday down here in Miami. Not a formal "meet-and-greet" thing with a group of sponsors or whatnot - more like an informal "we work together all the time, stop by such-and-such at so-and-so time and I'll bring you in to meet him." So, if I'm lucky and do see him, and I get in sentence or two (and on the off chance he listens) ... I need to be prepared. This (self-aggrandized, imagined important) moment where a single lifelong fan tries to dramatically influence the future of our beloved Bills. What's THE killer, can't-say-no pitch to make him want to be the next coach/GM of the Bills? What's the sell that will make Chuckie beg his agent on Tuesday to wake Uncle Ralph from his afternoon nap? Assume: (1) I don't have $10mm in hand; (2) physical threats are ineffective; (3) blackmail wouldn't be looked upon too favorably - given that I'm a guest; and (4) I've got about 30 seconds, tops. Something like ... "with you, we'd get Ko Simpson back - and he's worth millions!" This will be good ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebug Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 A ridiculously good ESPN-related connection of mine has assured me an audience with Chuckie - Jon Gruden himself - this Monday down here in Miami. Not a formal "meet-and-greet" thing with a group of sponsors or whatnot - more like an informal "we work together all the time, stop by such-and-such at so-and-so time and I'll bring you in to meet him." So, if I'm lucky and do see him, and I get in sentence or two (and on the off chance he listens) ... I need to be prepared. This (self-aggrandized, imagined important) moment where a single lifelong fan tries to dramatically influence the future of our beloved Bills. What's THE killer, can't-say-no pitch to make him want to be the next coach/GM of the Bills? What's the sell that will make Chuckie beg his agent on Tuesday to wake Uncle Ralph from his afternoon nap? Assume: (1) I don't have $10mm in hand; (2) physical threats are ineffective; (3) blackmail wouldn't be looked upon too favorably - given that I'm a guest; and (4) I've got about 30 seconds, tops. Something like ... "with you, we'd get Ko Simpson back - and he's worth millions!" This will be good ... Is it 5 min or 30 sec? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extrahammer Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Just be honest and don't spend too much time talking about the Bills. The Ko Simpson line will have him thinking you're an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realtruelove Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 A ridiculously good ESPN-related connection of mine has assured me an audience with Chuckie - Jon Gruden himself - this Monday down here in Miami. Not a formal "meet-and-greet" thing with a group of sponsors or whatnot - more like an informal "we work together all the time, stop by such-and-such at so-and-so time and I'll bring you in to meet him." So, if I'm lucky and do see him, and I get in sentence or two (and on the off chance he listens) ... I need to be prepared. This (self-aggrandized, imagined important) moment where a single lifelong fan tries to dramatically influence the future of our beloved Bills. What's THE killer, can't-say-no pitch to make him want to be the next coach/GM of the Bills? What's the sell that will make Chuckie beg his agent on Tuesday to wake Uncle Ralph from his afternoon nap? Assume: (1) I don't have $10mm in hand; (2) physical threats are ineffective; (3) blackmail wouldn't be looked upon too favorably - given that I'm a guest; and (4) I've got about 30 seconds, tops. Something like ... "with you, we'd get Ko Simpson back - and he's worth millions!" This will be good ... Wear a Bills cap and let him approach you. If he's interested in the Bills, the cap will lure him to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thoner7 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Mention QBs. Anything about QBs and he will be off and running. "Trent has looked great and terrible and he needs help - better coaching, better line play etc." or "The Bills need some new QBs to come in and compete" or "Tebow is not the prototype NFL QB, but he is a heck of a player and I would love the Bills to raft " But to break the ice mention that he is awesome on MNF and all other fans think so too (Best announcer I have heard in years). Then mention that horrific loss to the Pats as a segway into the Bills... I wish you the best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRM33064 Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 Is it 5 min or 30 sec? LOL ... not sure ... pretty sure he doesn't have me penciled in. And yes, the Ko Simpson line was for the board ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miyagi-Do Karate Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 A ridiculously good ESPN-related connection of mine has assured me an audience with Chuckie - Jon Gruden himself - this Monday down here in Miami. Not a formal "meet-and-greet" thing with a group of sponsors or whatnot - more like an informal "we work together all the time, stop by such-and-such at so-and-so time and I'll bring you in to meet him." So, if I'm lucky and do see him, and I get in sentence or two (and on the off chance he listens) ... I need to be prepared. This (self-aggrandized, imagined important) moment where a single lifelong fan tries to dramatically influence the future of our beloved Bills. What's THE killer, can't-say-no pitch to make him want to be the next coach/GM of the Bills? What's the sell that will make Chuckie beg his agent on Tuesday to wake Uncle Ralph from his afternoon nap? Assume: (1) I don't have $10mm in hand; (2) physical threats are ineffective; (3) blackmail wouldn't be looked upon too favorably - given that I'm a guest; and (4) I've got about 30 seconds, tops. Something like ... "with you, we'd get Ko Simpson back - and he's worth millions!" This will be good ... I would suggest 30 seconds of lying prostrate on the ground, begging him to come to Buffalo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 A ridiculously good ESPN-related connection of mine has assured me an audience with Chuckie - Jon Gruden himself - this Monday down here in Miami. Not a formal "meet-and-greet" thing with a group of sponsors or whatnot - more like an informal "we work together all the time, stop by such-and-such at so-and-so time and I'll bring you in to meet him." So, if I'm lucky and do see him, and I get in sentence or two (and on the off chance he listens) ... I need to be prepared. This (self-aggrandized, imagined important) moment where a single lifelong fan tries to dramatically influence the future of our beloved Bills. What's THE killer, can't-say-no pitch to make him want to be the next coach/GM of the Bills? What's the sell that will make Chuckie beg his agent on Tuesday to wake Uncle Ralph from his afternoon nap? Assume: (1) I don't have $10mm in hand; (2) physical threats are ineffective; (3) blackmail wouldn't be looked upon too favorably - given that I'm a guest; and (4) I've got about 30 seconds, tops. Something like ... "with you, we'd get Ko Simpson back - and he's worth millions!" This will be good ... Tell him that Cablelady thinks he's hot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyDingo Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Bring him a Bills logo shirt and tell him that one of you is about to put it on him. Now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 The Ko Simpson line is lame. Just say the Bills Faithful Fans (BFF) would love to have you as their HC next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zona Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Nah. Tell him that the Bills Nation has decided he CANT turn around the Bills, so he better look elsewhere. Go reverse psychology on him.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine Barrens Mafia Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I was thinking something like this: "Oh please, oh olease, oh PLEASE!" :wallbash: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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