Dr. Trooth Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 While waiting for the cuts, I cracked the "Jauron code" and thought I'd share it with my board brothers & sisters.... Jauron: “I think that it’s pretty obvious when you make a decision you know when you should do it,”. “I wasn’t thinking about firing him three days ago. I wasn’t thinking about it two weeks ago. But when you start thinking about it I think you need to move on it and do something. So when I started thinking about it I gave it a good deal of thought and did it. Clearly I believe it’s the right thing to do. It’s just a decision I needed to make I felt and made it.” Translation: "Ralph called me into his office and chewed my ass out. Asked WTF was going on with the offense and asked me if I was comfortable with it. I said yes. Ralph really went off on me. I really like Ralph, and the way he owns though. Anyway, Ralph told me the offense sucked and that if I felt comfortable with it, then he said he should fire my ass. Then he said to think it over, either fire that sorry ass Schonert, or it's my ass. So, I took the high road and fired Schonert. I wasn't about to not fire him like Wade was told to do with Ronnie Jones. I don't have those kind of balls. Besides, if I didn't fire Turk, Ralph would have fired me for insubordination and withheld my pay for a year until I won my arbitration hearing". Jauron: “We started preparing Trent for New England, gave him all New England reps up to this game and we just decided it was better not to put him in there with no preparation for another opponent.” Translation: "I really like Trent Edwards and the way he studies and prepares for games. Trent is not the type of QB that can just go in and wing it. Everything has to scripted. The other three QBs can handle that. But, Trent is a little different. He doesn't know the difference between a 3-4 and a 4-3. We just prepare a game plan for him and he studies it. He doesn't really know if it is a 3-4 or 4-3 we are playing against. He just knows that there are 11 defenders on the field and they are all lined up in some type of alignment. If he sees something we haven't prepared him for, he schittz his pants and just doesn't know what to do. In those cases, we've prepared him to do one of three things... throw to the closest eligible receiver regardless if he's triple covered, get the hell out of the pocket and run out of bounds, or just suck it up and take the sack". Jauron: “With Alex and Eric it’s not like we’re changing scheme,” said Jauron. “We may be changing focus, we may be changing emphasis, but it’s not like we’re adding new things. They’re used to the terminology. Everybody is on the same page. Hopefully it’ll provide a jolt, hopefully a jolt forward and move us on.” Translation: "We can't change the scheme now. Neither of those two guys would know what the hell to do, and, frankly, neither would I. We might change the focus... I mean maybe we will focus more on throwing the ball 7 yards instead of two yards on a 3rd and 7. And, perhaps we'll think about scoring touchdowns a bit more, instead of being happy to be in field goal range. I hope it works, because I'm concerned that Alex, like me, is in way over his head. He did have some OC experience with the Frankfurt Galaxy. But as you all know, that team went 3-7 and the team averaged 16 points per game. But, I'm not sure exactly how many of those points per game their offense scored though. I'm concerned with Eric a bit too because none of the running backs he's coached has really gotten to that 1400-1600 yard rushing mark. They barely manage to get a shade over 1000 yards, which a really good back would have by game 12 or 13".
TKO Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Wow, hilarious, I'm laughing my ass off... great post!
Fingon Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all.
Jerry Christ Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all.
TKO Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all. The bit about TE is really great, because you could read DJ between the lines and come up with these conclussions. Which by the way, is sad, because it shows his lack of confidence in the players/staff.
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 Great job. I never laughed out loud over a post like I just did for that one. Absolutely brilliant!
HurlyBurly51 Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all.
BuffaloBill Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all. That was funny stuff ... but to each their own.
TDRupp Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all. I am getting ols. Actually, I am old. 46. Maybe you guys are just not resigned to the fate that we are going to suffer this year. I am. I fully expect the same kind of mediocre futility we have seen the last 9 years. I will be on the edge of my seat rooting them on and hoping and praying they pull of mireaces I do not expect, but if you fire your OC a week and change away from your opener then you know what is coming and it just can't be pretty. It just can't. With that as my mindset and still being a die hard fan with great hope for Edwards and some hope (little) for Jauron, that was funny and hell. My 10 your old son what to know why I was alomost crying. Funny post to me.
crazyDingo Posted September 5, 2009 Posted September 5, 2009 I employed your decryption method to every press conference Jauron has had. Using the first letter of every speech that sounded stupid I was astounded. I am posting the results here, but I don't know how long I have. I am being followed by agents of the Vatican: "i IS a ChEap coACh. I is A baD coAch. i is loSIng CoACh." Please. Tell the World.
Blaise321 Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 Great job. I never laughed out loud over a post like I just did for that one. Absolutely brilliant! So true. Hillarious........and then I remembered it's true.
Pilsner Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 While waiting for the cuts, I cracked the "Jauron code" and thought I'd share it with my board brothers & sisters.... Jauron: “I think that it’s pretty obvious when you make a decision you know when you should do it,”. “I wasn’t thinking about firing him three days ago. I wasn’t thinking about it two weeks ago. But when you start thinking about it I think you need to move on it and do something. So when I started thinking about it I gave it a good deal of thought and did it. Clearly I believe it’s the right thing to do. It’s just a decision I needed to make I felt and made it.” Translation: "Ralph called me into his office and chewed my ass out. Asked WTF was going on with the offense and asked me if I was comfortable with it. I said yes. Ralph really went off on me. I really like Ralph, and the way he owns though. Anyway, Ralph told me the offense sucked and that if I felt comfortable with it, then he said he should fire my ass. Then he said to think it over, either fire that sorry ass Schonert, or it's my ass. So, I took the high road and fired Schonert. I wasn't about to not fire him like Wade was told to do with Ronnie Jones. I don't have those kind of balls. Besides, if I didn't fire Turk, Ralph would have fired me for insubordination and withheld my pay for a year until I won my arbitration hearing". Jauron: “We started preparing Trent for New England, gave him all New England reps up to this game and we just decided it was better not to put him in there with no preparation for another opponent.” Translation: "I really like Trent Edwards and the way he studies and prepares for games. Trent is not the type of QB that can just go in and wing it. Everything has to scripted. The other three QBs can handle that. But, Trent is a little different. He doesn't know the difference between a 3-4 and a 4-3. We just prepare a game plan for him and he studies it. He doesn't really know if it is a 3-4 or 4-3 we are playing against. He just knows that there are 11 defenders on the field and they are all lined up in some type of alignment. If he sees something we haven't prepared him for, he schittz his pants and just doesn't know what to do. In those cases, we've prepared him to do one of three things... throw to the closest eligible receiver regardless if he's triple covered, get the hell out of the pocket and run out of bounds, or just suck it up and take the sack". Jauron: “With Alex and Eric it’s not like we’re changing scheme,” said Jauron. “We may be changing focus, we may be changing emphasis, but it’s not like we’re adding new things. They’re used to the terminology. Everybody is on the same page. Hopefully it’ll provide a jolt, hopefully a jolt forward and move us on.” Translation: "We can't change the scheme now. Neither of those two guys would know what the hell to do, and, frankly, neither would I. We might change the focus... I mean maybe we will focus more on throwing the ball 7 yards instead of two yards on a 3rd and 7. And, perhaps we'll think about scoring touchdowns a bit more, instead of being happy to be in field goal range. I hope it works, because I'm concerned that Alex, like me, is in way over his head. He did have some OC experience with the Frankfurt Galaxy. But as you all know, that team went 3-7 and the team averaged 16 points per game. But, I'm not sure exactly how many of those points per game their offense scored though. I'm concerned with Eric a bit too because none of the running backs he's coached has really gotten to that 1400-1600 yard rushing mark. They barely manage to get a shade over 1000 yards, which a really good back would have by game 12 or 13". great post lol. Wow I hate how Jauron always says "hopefully". screw Hopefully. Why doesn't he say instead... Our Goal is to... We will be Emphasizing... the Direction we will take is... and so on... "hopefully" won't get u anywhere. We need results. We don't just need "hope". We need Direction. Direction with no excuses. Ugh.
12Kachy Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I am getting ols. Actually, I am old. 46. Maybe you guys are just not resigned to the fate that we are going to suffer this year. I am. I fully expect the same kind of mediocre futility we have seen the last 9 years. I will be on the edge of my seat rooting them on and hoping and praying they pull of mireaces I do not expect, but if you fire your OC a week and change away from your opener then you know what is coming and it just can't be pretty. It just can't. With that as my mindset and still being a die hard fan with great hope for Edwards and some hope (little) for Jauron, that was funny and hell. My 10 your old son what to know why I was alomost crying. Funny post to me. I somehow feel like we are in the movie Ground hog day. Ralph keeps sailing the titanic into the northern Atlantic.
FluffHead Posted September 6, 2009 Posted September 6, 2009 I must be getting too old. Not funny at all.
Recommended Posts