ricojes Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 -I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. -More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? -Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. -That's enough, Nickelback. -I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. -Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. today's kids are soft. -There is a great need for sarcasm font. -Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it. -I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. -How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. - I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. -The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. - A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. - LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". - Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. - Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". - How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? - I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! - Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" -What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? - While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. - MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. - Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. -Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. -I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - Bad decisions make good stories -Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! -Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... -You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. -Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. -There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. -I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. - "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. -I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!!!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. -When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. -I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. -Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. -It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. -I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. -Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it. -Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a purse and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time. -It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. -I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. -I think the freezer deserves a light as well. -I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. -The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat before dinner.
BuffaloBill Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Funny stuff wonder why they selected that age range.
Wooderson Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Haha, loved it. I could personally relate to many of these circumstances. I would think 20-30 year olds sounds more realistic, IMO.
KD in CA Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 -It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. Web content people who do this should be water-boarded by Dick Cheney.
ricojes Posted September 3, 2009 Author Posted September 3, 2009 Outstanding list. Where is this from? I think it was a facebook thing. I got an email today and had a couple laugh out loud moments, so thought I would share. If you do yahoo search on the title, you'll get a lot of hits.
/dev/null Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 10 I totally relate to... -That's enough, Nickelback. -Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. today's kids are soft. -There is a great need for sarcasm font. -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. - I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. -Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. -You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. -Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. -I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. -It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. And 1 I've never experienced -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
BUFFALOTONE Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Excellent! sent this to about 15 people. Some are so true.
3rd and One Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 Gotta love almost every one of those moments, solid post!
DrDawkinstein Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 i got sent this on facebook the other day. almost posted it myself. some REALLY funny stuff in there. My favorites: - LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". -That's enough, Nickelback. -When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Tcali Posted September 3, 2009 Posted September 3, 2009 -I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. -More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? -Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. -That's enough, Nickelback. -I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. -Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. today's kids are soft. -There is a great need for sarcasm font. -Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it. -I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. -How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. - I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. -The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. - A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. - LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say". - Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying. - Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". - How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? - I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! - Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" -What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? - While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. - MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. - Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. - I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. -Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. -I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. - Bad decisions make good stories -Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! -Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... -You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. -Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. -There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. -I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. - "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. -I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!!!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. -When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. -I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. -Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. -It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. -I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. -Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it. -Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a purse and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time. -It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text. -I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. -I think the freezer deserves a light as well. -I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. -The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat before dinner. good stuff!-
BillsPride12 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 That was very entertaining, thanks for sharing I got quite a few quality chuckles out of it
Wacka Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Random thought from a 45-55 year old: Why are the 25-35 year olds so dumb?
Booster4324 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Web content people who do this should be water-boarded by Dick Cheney. Agreed!
Philly McButterpants Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 - While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart. I've done this . . . .
kegtapr Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 Random thought from a 45-55 year old: Why are the 25-35 year olds so dumb? Bad parenting.
shrader Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I couldn't even identify something as a Nickelback song if I heard one, but I still know that they suck.
GOBILLS78 Posted September 4, 2009 Posted September 4, 2009 I couldn't even identify something as a Nickelback song if I heard one, but I still know that they suck. All you need to do is hear one. Because then you've heard them all.
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