"If you dont shut that baby up,

[loyal2dagame]

But to him, I'm a parent when he needs a parent. I don't expect someone who doesn't want to be their child's friend to understand that, and I'm not saying my way is better than yours. I'm honestly not. But at my son's young age, he will randomly ask me "Dad, are we buddies?" and I have no idea how you say "No, I'm just here to raise you."

 

no, you're a parent 24/7/365, or you are a bad parent. thats it.

 

i have a 3 yr old son, that loves....absolutely loves when i call him buddy.

absolutely loves when i lay on the floor next to him and play batman, or imaginext, just color with him. i also have a 1 1/2 yr old son that i call buddy from time to time. when my 3yr old hears this , he becomes jealous and says to me "dad, i thought i was your buddy?" and i say to him "you and sam are both my buddies"

 

i also have a 12yr old daughter and an 11yr old daughter. my conversations with them are entirely different and for good reason.

 

it's not that i dont feel what you are saying, but i'm a parent first and a parent last.

 

whether my kids are sick,sad,happy or mad...... i'm there for them..... friendship has nothing to do with it.....

 

it's unconditional love

[stevestojan]

no, you're a parent 24/7/365, or you are a bad parent. thats it.

 

i have a 3 yr old son, that loves....absolutely loves when i call him buddy.

absolutely loves when i lay on the floor next to him and play batman, or imaginext, just color with him. i also have a 1 1/2 yr old son that i call buddy from time to time. when my 3yr old hears this , he becomes jealous and says to me "dad, i thought i was your buddy?" and i say to him "you and sam are both my buddies"

 

i also have a 12yr old daughter and an 11yr old daughter. my conversations with them are entirely different and for good reason.

 

it's not that i dont feel what you are saying, but i'm a parent first and a parent last.

 

whether my kids are sick,sad,happy or mad...... i'm there for them..... friendship has nothing to do with it.....

 

it's unconditional love

 

LABILLSFAN and i pretty much disagree on every point that anyone can bring up, but i must say that you're completely missing the point, or rather arguing semantics. you both love your kids unconditionally and to say because he words it (it being how and when he is the friend and wheb he is the parent) slightly differently that he doesnt then you're just flat being stubborn.

 

i cant judge parenting through cyberspace, but from what i know of mark, hes one hell of a dad. and im sure you are too.

the fact that your both pasionately discussing your children is exhibit #1. the ones trying to put any blame on the mother in this case are the ones i worry about.

[ExiledInIllinois]

My dad took the same approach. We haven't spoken in over 10 years and likely won't ever speak again. Once his job was done, there was no reason to stay in touch because while he was repeatedly insisting he wasn't there to be my friend, he was more successful than he probably expected.

 

 

Really...

There has got to be more to this story... ?? Did your parents stay together? We there other "demons" in their lives, like drinking, etc... Not that I am prying and I really don't need any other information... Your were taught to be very independent and that is a good thing. What I am getting at is that there are always more issues...

[ExiledInIllinois]

Yes, I think there needs to be a happy medium. It's just a personal opinion, and it's nowhere as simple as this, but you're a buddy when they need a buddy and you're a parent when they need a parent.

 

I agree. The hard part is getting either side to agree what and when a certain role is needed.

[ExiledInIllinois]

no, not keep them perfectly quiet. but when the kid is obviously throwing a tantrum (long enough to annoy someone to come over and comment, and then continue shopping, and then circle back around) and the parent doesnt do anything to stop it or remove the child from the area... then THAT is irresponsible and non-attentive.

 

you guys can jump all over me because i dont have children of my own. but i have PLENTY of friends who have toddlers/infants, and when we are out someplace (be it a store, or restaurant, or where ever) if the child goes off, the parents remove them from the area so they do not bother everyone else.

 

THAT is responsible parenting. not only taking action with your child, but thinking about everyone else who doesnt need your bratty kid screaming in their ear.

 

I agree... And I have two children.

 

It is not about me, it is not about my children, it is about being responsible AND SERVICE to others. On this note, people will also take flak. I remember one time I had to remove my child (son) from an public tantrum and a person thought I was going to going to harm him. I calmly said:

 

"Lady, thank... I understand your concern... I am removing my son from the situation... He will be in his car seat with me in the car too... That way he can blow all he wants and not annoy anyone."

 

The problem I see is that everyone wants to micromanage everyone.

[ExiledInIllinois]

I stand corrected. There is a difference between an unholy tantrum and a crying baby. But if you're standing in line with a baby that is teething, or is sick, and you're picking up a prescription, and the baby is crying loudly because of the pain or discomfort, that does not mean they're a bratty kid.

 

I see your point. I also wouldn't be dragging them around sick... They would be home with my wife or me. Now, I know that is not always possible and in rare situations you might have to take them out... Then they would be sittiing in the car with somebody else.

 

This is really about the parents and the family making concessions on what they can and can't do because of the situation. That means you don't keep on plugging away doing what you do... The parents have to suffer first and foremost. That is what I don't see happening nowadays. Growing up, if we ever blew say in a public place... It was assumed that nobody would be going back for a long, long time... Even if it meant my parents suffering by not ejoying themselves.

 

Like my story in the post above... After my son blew, we didn't dine out (let alone go back to the same place) for about a year... Let I say, he go the message real quick that we were ALL not gonna enjoy ourselves until he squared away his public issues.

[Fan in San Diego]

My dad took the same approach. We haven't spoken in over 10 years and likely won't ever speak again. Once his job was done, there was no reason to stay in touch because while he was repeatedly insisting he wasn't there to be my friend, he was more successful than he probably expected.

 

Wow that's kind of cold isn't it? What about visiting grandkids and stuff?

Anyways, to throw my $0.02 in on this thread, I have learned to not judge parents or their kids when I see things in a store, you never know what has been happening earlier in the day or previous incidents where the parent feels the need to handle a situation differently from time to time.

If a parent or kid is bothering me I move away from the area.

[Corp000085]

Wow that's kind of cold isn't it? What about visiting grandkids and stuff?

Anyways, to throw my $0.02 in on this thread, I have learned to not judge parents or their kids when I see things in a store, you never know what has been happening earlier in the day or previous incidents where the parent feels the need to handle a situation differently from time to time.

If a parent or kid is bothering me I move away from the area.

 

 

Bingo. I see this all the time, not as a parent, but as a teacher. I live 1/2 mile from my school, so we shop at the grocery store that the kids families shop at. Almost every time, I see a family or two out at the store. Sometimes, kids that are really really good in school act really really bad in the store. Same thing goes if a good kid comes in the morning in a foul foul mood. Chalk it up to external events. I don't get too upset at fussy kids at all, but I do get upset if a kid is a holy terror running around the store or whatever. Getting back to the original point, this guy obviously had some other things going on, which is just a lesson for us good parents to stay on our toes, and always locate objects that can be used as a shiv if needed on very short notice.

[Steely Dan]

but you'd agree that there can be a happy medium? and that when it comes down to it, a parent should be a PARENT FIRST and a BUDDY SECOND?

or no?

 

 

If you honestly think that all crying babies are "bratty kid(s)," then I'm hard pressed to question whether you're better off never having kids, or hoping you have one in the near future so you can figure out just how absolutely, positively ridiculous you sound. What you're suggesting...that you take a crying baby to a place away from others in a public setting where you can help stop the crying...is accurate. But to unquestionably assume that the baby is crying because it's a brat being raised by a bad parent is just embarrassing on your behalf, and you'd do well to stop commenting on something for which you clearly have absolutely no knowledge.

 

 

I agree with the guy that said he'd be dead if that happened to my child. Real quick. Dead.

 

I lived with a woman who had a 1 1/2 year old and I lived with her for two years. She was a biotch when we broke up but she was a fantastic parent. The little girl would have a nap in the afternoon and go to bed around 7pm and she would get up around 6 or 7am. The days she didn't get a nap she was very fussy but if she had a nap she was never fussy to my memory. IMO, a lot of parents aren't aware of a young child's sleep needs and that causes a lot of problems.

 

I loved that little girl like she was my own child. I miss her terribly but a if guy who lived with a woman for a couple of years tries to stay in that kids life it's just creepy.

 

Anyhoo, if that guy had done that to her he'd know what it feels like to be tackled by Bruce Smith and I'm 5'5". He'd also have to eat through a straw for month or more.

 

[IDBillzFan]

LABILLSFAN and i pretty much disagree on every point that anyone can bring up, but i must say that you're completely missing the point, or rather arguing semantics.

 

Holy crap. Look whose wife let him use the computer.

 

(Just kidding, scchiit.)

[Steely Dan]

http://www.nowpublic.com/world/roger-steph...rt-2559711.html

 

Roger Stephens repeatedly slapped a two-year-old girl across the face in a Stone Mountain Wal-Mart and even though he apologized to the girl and her family, the judge decided that one year in jail would be an appropriate punishment.

 

He will get four months credit for time already served, and at the end of March will be eligable for house arrest.

 

His attorney Jeff Sliz spoke for Roger Stephens after the trial:

"He's absolutely amazed this incident took on such Goliath proportions," Sliz said. "He never in his wildest imagination believed it would mushroom into this."

 

Sliz called his client's behavior "the ultimate knee-jerk reaction."

 

"He put his hands on a child when he clearly shouldn't have, and he realizes that," the attorney said.

 

Well I hope he realizes WHY this took on huge proportions. Jackass!!

[Joe Miner]

if i see a parent TRYING to do something about it, that's all i need to see.

 

As a parent of a 2 year old daughter with another on the way in March, this is basically it.

 

I get irritated and sometimes furious at other parents that seem oblivious to the crying/screaming/tantrum of their child.

 

The sound of kids' crying is annoying for a reason...it's supposed to make you do something to stop it. If crying sounded good, we wouldn't want to stop it.

 

Unfortunately as every parent knows, sometimes it's just not working. Kid's sick/terrible 2's/or just being a little turd for a bit are sometimes problem's that can turn on instantly and don't have a good quick solution. But the important thing is that you are doing something to try and rectify the situation. Remove the kid, try to sooth the kid, try to discipline the kid, try to talk to the kid, pick it up, put it down, take it to the bathroom, something... Just put in the effort, and most people will understand, and many will sympathize/empathize. Ignoring the kid, or laughing and smiling, taking a picture as they are being loud and obnoxious in public is incredibly rude.

 

Parents should also have common sense. Although I don't know why I expect parents to have it since it seems fewer and fewer people in society do. If you have a kid that's going through a phase where he/she can't/won't sit still or be quiet in a restaurant, then perhaps you shouldn't be at a restaurant, especially those that are more quiet. There are family restaurants that play music and have a lot of ambient noise for a reason. Try those instead of the intimate dining steak house. Or maybe, just maybe, put others' feeling ahead of yours and stay home. If you are pretty sure that at some point during dinner your kid's gonna throw a **** fit, then stay home. You've just likely ruined the dinner of every table within earshot of you by putting your own desires ahead of others. And if you are the type of parent that cares when your kid screams, and tries to fix it, you'll likely end up embarrassed, frustrated, and upset ruining your dinner as well.

 

For the non-parents though, you can almost always tell what's going on and how much the parents are trying just from watching for a few minutes. If they're trying, give them a break, hardly any trip with a child, especially a small child, goes like you've planned it. If they're putting in the effort to rectify the situations, understand that it's a difficult job that rarely has an easy solution if it has one at all.

 

Lastly, don't ever touch someone's kid without permission, unless you are rescuing it from an immediate danger. Something as simple making eye contact with the parent and getting a head nod is usually good enough. But a parent really doesn't want to turn around in the middle of a store and see a stranger playing with their kid. And they really don't want strangers coming up uninvited and messing with their kids. Making faces, waving, playing peek-a-boo are all acceptable things that can be done from a distance that will likely go over much better.

[BillsFanNC]

For the non-parents though, you can almost always tell what's going on and how much the parents are trying just from watching for a few minutes. If they're trying, give them a break, hardly any trip with a child, especially a small child, goes like you've planned it. If they're putting in the effort to rectify the situations, understand that it's a difficult job that rarely has an easy solution if it has one at all.

 

Good advice. Though they can't understand as they are not parents yet, but that won't stop them from telling us how be a good ones.

[BuffaloBud]

How about a "parenting test"?

[KD in CA]

Roger Stephens repeatedly slapped a two-year-old girl across the face in a Stone Mountain Wal-Mart and even though he apologized to the girl and her family, the judge decided that one year in jail would be an appropriate punishment.

 

Good.