Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I just got back from Wegmans where live lobsters were on sale for 6.99/lb. I picked up one 1pd. lobster and I have determined that he shall receive the death penalty. Crime; being delicious. His bio card also said he was aquitted of killing his wife and a waiter but he lost the civil trial. So that makes it easier to do. I've always had lobster at restaurants and I realized that I had to kill one myself in order to not be a hypocrite. So as the water heats up so does his final minutes on earth, and a trip to my tummy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 I have just sent him to his watery boiling demise. C'est la vie lobster, C'est la vie. He's to be boiled for 15 minutes and then when he cools a bit he will be interned in my tummy and later moved to the toilet. Visiting hours are 9pm. -10pm. tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I just got back from Wegmans where live lobsters were on sale for 6.99/lb. I picked up one 1pd. lobster and I have determined that he shall receive the death penalty. Crime; being delicious. His bio card also said he was aquitted of killing his wife and a waiter but he lost the civil trial. So that makes it easier to do. I've always had lobster at restaurants and I realized that I had to kill one myself in order to not be a hypocrite. So as the water heats up so does his final minutes on earth, and a trip to my tummy. May he slip free of his rubber bandcuffs and lock on to your nuts Don't overcook him ... easily done ... enjoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Link He was a feisty little I was concerned cutting the second band that he'd reach over and take a finger as a final act of vengeance but fortunately he didn't. He wriggled around so much he escaped the tongs but it was his own fault as he fell to the floor. He is being monitored by a very good cooking timer. He smells worse than I thought he would during the cooking process. I just checked in on him and he's turning red. Evidently embarrassed by the crimes he's committed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Next time put him or her in the oven with some nice stuffing (breadcrumbs, butter & bay scallops). More better good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Link He was a feisty little I was concerned cutting the second band that he'd reach over and take a finger as a final act of vengeance but fortunately he didn't. He wriggled around so much he escaped the tongs but it was his own fault as he fell to the floor. He is being monitored by a very good cooking timer. He smells worse than I thought he would during the cooking process. I just checked in on him and he's turning red. Evidently embarrassed by the crimes he's committed. Finally. After all the appeals. Do gooder nonsense and endless legal red tape. Justice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Finally. After all the appeals. Do gooder nonsense and endless legal red tape. Justice! He has now been proven guilty of being delicious and is interred and is waiting to moved. Another guy John Walsh doesn't have to put on America's Most Wanted Lobsters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 He has now been proven guilty of being delicious and is interred and is waiting to moved. Another guy John Walsh doesn't have to put on America's Most Wanted Lobsters! How is it that you assumed the power to be judge, jury and executioner? Not to mention that he should have had at least twenty years of appeals while living on three squares per day courtesy of the taxpayers. This country does not support quick justice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 How is it that you assumed the power to be judge, jury and executioner? Not to mention that he should have had at least twenty years of appeals while living on three squares per day courtesy of the taxpayers. This country does not support quick justice. As far as that lobster knew, I AM GOD!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 As far as that lobster knew, I AM GOD!! You have The Big Cat beat, as the animals just think of him as Romeo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I just checked in on him and he's turning red. Evidently embarrassed by the crimes he's committed. Aha! So the lobster really was a Communist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damj Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I just got back from Wegmans where live lobsters were on sale for 6.99/lb. I picked up one 1pd. lobster and I have determined that he shall receive the death penalty. Crime; being delicious. His bio card also said he was aquitted of killing his wife and a waiter but he lost the civil trial. So that makes it easier to do. I've always had lobster at restaurants and I realized that I had to kill one myself in order to not be a hypocrite. So as the water heats up so does his final minutes on earth, and a trip to my tummy. Heartless Bastard! Ok ... I'm just jealous ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 You have The Big Cat beat, as the animals just think of him as Romeo. Aha! So the lobster really was a Communist! He died before I could interrogate him, but I suspect you're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Link He was a feisty little I was concerned cutting the second band that he'd reach over and take a finger as a final act of vengeance but fortunately he didn't. He wriggled around so much he escaped the tongs but it was his own fault as he fell to the floor. He is being monitored by a very good cooking timer. He smells worse than I thought he would during the cooking process. I just checked in on him and he's turning red. Evidently embarrassed by the crimes he's committed. Pusssy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Pusssy. How many did you handle with your hands? Why do something the stupid way when you can do things the smart way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 How many did you handle with your hands? Why do something the stupid way when you can do things the smart way? How many with my hands? Every one I ever touched and cooked. Who's stupid? You're the one that dropped your dinner on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 29, 2009 Author Share Posted August 29, 2009 How many with my hands? Every one I ever touched and cooked. Who's stupid? You're the one that dropped your dinner on the floor. Do you still possess all of your fingers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booster4324 Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 Do you still possess all of your fingers? I heard he still has the original 11 fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted August 29, 2009 Share Posted August 29, 2009 How many did you handle with your hands? Why do something the stupid way when you can do things the smart way? Why are you taking the rubber bands off befoe you boil him, idot. Then handling him with your mitts is just fine. I like Jimmy have touched every last lobster with my grubby paws, and never dropped a single one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted August 29, 2009 Author Share Posted August 29, 2009 Why are you taking the rubber bands off befoe you boil him, idot. Then handling him with your mitts is just fine. I like Jimmy have touched every last lobster with my grubby paws, and never dropped a single one. I don't like my lobster to have a slight rubber banded taste. Geez, you're wimpier than me. I may use tongs with an unbanded lobster but I'd have no trouble with a banded one. I just would never boil a lobster with the bands still on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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