Cugalabanza Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 The litte Italian boy... "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "4 months vacation and five good leads."
Beerball Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." That's not bad! BTW...I went to school with Joey's brother.
Steely Dan Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 The litte Italian boy... "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "4 months vacation and five good leads."
damj Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 A blonde decided to go ice fishing. So, she gathered her gear and headed out. She started to cut a hole in the ice when suddenly a booming voice says: "There are no fish down there!" She turned around startled and looked and didn't see anybody. So she went further and started to cut a hole in the ice. Again the booming voice:" There are no fish down there!!" She turned around again and then said: "Is that you, God?" "No," said the booming voice. "This is the ice rink manager!!"
Magox Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 The litte Italian boy... "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "4 months vacation and five good leads."
BLZFAN4LIFE Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 What do you get when you cross PMS with GPS? A psycho b1t(h that will find you.
Just Jack Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?" She says, "I'd take half, then leave you." "Excellent," he replies, "I won 12 bucks, here's $6, now get the !@#$ out.
Chef Jim Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 I was just about to post that that was an old joke then I saw the date of the original post. Thanks for bringing it back around though, it's a good one.
Steve O Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 What do blondes say after sex? You guys all on the same team?
Steely Dan Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?" She says, "I'd take half, then leave you." "Excellent," he replies, "I won 12 bucks, here's $6, now get the !@#$ out.
dib Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 a little girl goes to the barber for her first haircut. sitting in the chair she looks around while eating a twinkie. The barber says "You're going to get hair on your twinkie" The little girl replies: "Yes and I'm going to get boobies too"
ricojes Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 The litte Italian boy... "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "4 months vacation and five good leads." That's an oldie, but a classic...
BuffaloBill Posted November 18, 2009 Posted November 18, 2009 A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?" She says, "I'd take half, then leave you." "Excellent," he replies, "I won 12 bucks, here's $6, now get the !@#$ out.
Just Jack Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 A bus load of politicians were driving down a Texas country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians. A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, 'Were they all dead?' The old farmer replied, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how they lie.'
erynthered Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
erynthered Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Old Fart Football An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally ***** in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
Guffalo Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 Gay guy goes into a straight bar during the monday night football game. The men at the bar look him over in his paisly shirt and manicured hands.... He sashayes to the bar and orders a beer. A huge construction worker looks down at him and growls "what the hell are you doing here fagboy? Why don't you find a bar that your kind are in?" The gay guy bats his eyes and says " I love football, as a matter of fact, I play bar football all the time!" The contruction worker looks him over and says "what the hell is bar football?" The twink says "I'll show you, he gulps his beer, lets out a huge burp and says "Touchdown, six points", he then drops his pants, bends over and farts, "Extra point!" "7-0 I lead" The construction worker looks him over and says, "OK, I can play this..." The man grabs his beer and drains it in one smooth pull, pounds his chest and from his gullet erupts an ear splitting belch that rattled the windows, he immediately spun around, dropped his pants and prepared to emit a venomous intestinal eruption. At that precise moment, the gay guy charges him with his pants lowered screaming "Block that kick!!!, block that kick!!!"
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