ieatcrayonz Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Well that was some fishing trip. My attorney, Jimmy Spagnola, invited me on a one day deep sea fishing trip for winning the "last post wins more" thread. We were having a great time. I caught a couple of pretty small fish and we were about to get the bait for the big stuff. Jimmy went to get it. The next thing I know something hit me in the head. It felt like a wrench. I remember falling off my boat but I was a little groggy. When I fell into the ocean I saw Jimmy up on the third deck looking down. I was wondering how he would get down there to save me in time. He must have been thinking about that too because he wasn't moving at all. I think the fear had him cat toniced. The hit to the head impaired my swimming ability. I started getting thrown around in the water and thought I was a goner. The yacht had acutually turned away in its search for me. They must have not seen me for a while because they were too close. The thing almost hit me three times. Then along came a miracle. They say in life the nice things you do for people often come back to you. Thank God that is true for me. I do so many nice things for so many people, I should have realized I'd be fine. Anyway, one of the things I do for clients is allow them to collect "frequent flier" points. Usually they get something like a trip to Tahiti or a Skooby car but some of the real slutty women or desperate males can sometimes get bigger gifts. Anyway, these poor kids I code named the Jonah Brothers to keep their privacy have hired out some of the girls thousands of times. They are young, rich and have lots of free time. They don't look that smart but they must be because the combined their frequent flier points. Instead of three super Skooby cars, I was on the hook for a custom designed Googlebot vehicle of their choice. I checked the fine print about combining points and they had me by the short ones. This thing was expensive to build and I never thought even code name Ennifer Janiston would be slutty enough to compile that amount of points. Anyway, just as I was about to go under; their Googlebot vehicle of choice, a Googlebot whale, opened up and rescued me. At the time I thought I was being eaten. I wasn't too upset actually becuase I was out of swimming power and at least I had a chance being eaten by a whale. I remember the famous story about living in a whale. I'm pretty sure Pinnochio survived for weeks. As soon as I was in I realized this was no whale at all. The Googlebot went all out on this thing. It was sweet. It must have cost me a fortune. So for basically the next few weeks I cruised the oceans with the Jonah brothers and the gals they had procured. I just got home late last week. That was fun but when I arrived home things got disturbing. The first thing I saw was Jimmy running out the back screaming. I couldn't catch him or figure out why until I went into the house. There I saw my bloodied accountant Irwin trying to break into my safe. His right eye was beaten to a pulp as he has tried to use it on my security device over and over and over. I think the sheer sadness of losing me and the stark reality of Irwin's greed was too much for Jimmy. He snapped and fled. As for Irwin, he has some phony baloney crap about how he was worried and came to the house and then Jimmy beat him up or something. It is really disgraceful. I am torn on what to do about this. Irwin has made me a lot of money over the years and this is his first time trying to steal from me. I may let him off with a warning but he will first have to find Jimmy, apologize and bring him back. He is resisting this. Anyway, it is good to be back to normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Anyway, it is good to be back to normal. Aint it though. Titans pulled another fast one on the Bills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Aint it though. Titans pulled another fast one on the Bills. And another thing...isn't it ironic that the Jonah Brothers would want a whale? Must be a circle of life thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 And another thing...isn't it ironic that the Jonah Brothers would want a whale? Must be a circle of life thing. I don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I don't get it. It's a biblical reference. Jonah didn't want to go where God was sending him so he got swallowed by a whale. He was later vomited out when he agreed to do God's bidding. Did you make any promises while you were in the belly of the whale? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 It's a biblical reference. Jonah didn't want to go where God was sending him so he got swallowed by a whale. He was later vomited out when he agreed to do God's bidding. Did you make any promises while you were in the belly of the whale? Dude the Bible ripped off Pinnochio for a story line? I doubt it. Where was God supposedly sending Jonah anyway? I only made one promise in the belly of the whale. I promised myself I'd phase out the frequent flier program. That thing must have cost billions. They used the spinning plate technology from my seafood restaurant idea to stabilize all the furntiture and stuff. I played a whole game of 9-ball while we were diving to the bottom of the big trench thing. Not one ball on that pool table even moved a bit. It did make it hard to play though because I did not have plates on my feet and I kept falling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Dude the Bible ripped off Pinnochio for a story line? I doubt it. Where was God supposedly sending Jonah anyway? The bible predates your fairy tail so I wouldn't be so quick to call it a fish story. Jonah was supposed to go to Miami to preach to the unwashed masses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 The bible predates your fairy tail so I wouldn't be so quick to call it a fish story. That is why I'm pretty sure you made this whole thing up. I don't remember the Bible suinng Pinnochio for any copyright issues. Jonah was supposed to go to Miami to preach to the unwashed masses. Now I'm sure you're way off. First, Miami did not exist yet when the Bible was written and secondly he would not have been sent there in a whale, he would have been sent on an innertube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Now I'm sure you're way off. First, Miami did not exist yet when the Bible was written and secondly he would not have been sent there in a whale, he would have been sent on an innertube. Plus Miami is more Methuselah's kind of town Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Now I'm sure you're way off. First, Miami did not exist yet when the Bible was written and secondly he would not have been sent there in a whale, he would have been sent on an innertube. I was using Miami in a metaphysical sense not in the physical sense. The biblical city was full of nasty people and lots of ashes so I thought Miami & figured that would translate well. The real city was Nineveh (which when spelled backwards is 'Heven in' so you know it's authentic). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 I was using Miami in a metaphysical sense not in the physical sense. The biblical city was full of nasty people and lots of ashes so I thought Miami & figured that would translate well. The real city was Nineveh (which when spelled backwards is 'Heven in' so you know it's authentic). Dude this is getting ridiculous. Nineveh? I went the long way home in the Bently from a Bills game one time and I went through Nineveh. That place is a dump, no doubt. Put it this way, I couldn't wait to get to Binghamton. But how in the heck is a whale going to get to Nineveh? And I'm pretty sure the whole Binghamton area didn't exist during the Bible anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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