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Posted

I spilled coffee all over myself and my desk. I am a legendary jackass and I wear the mark of the stained shirt for all to see.

 

What no cold water to rinse the stain away?

 

Cheer up! A stained shirt sure beats stained

pants...if you know what I mean.

Posted

I spilled coffee all over myself and my desk. I am a legendary jackass and I wear the mark of the stained shirt for all to see.

 

Here is a joke. Really blow all your co-workers minds and come in tomorrow wearing the same shirt! See what kind of looks they give you! LoL...

Posted

I spilled coffee all over myself and my desk. I am a legendary jackass and I wear the mark of the stained shirt for all to see.

 

How hot was it? You could sue who made it.

Posted

A LATE but not forgotten TGIF!!

 

Bittersweet ... working Sat.

 

Clean so far today. I think I might take my chances with another cup of coffee here in a little while. I really hope I don't blow it again.

 

Hey!! if all else fails, you can always wear

one of Z's old bibs!!

Posted (edited)

Happy Friday!! The wife is going to play cards with her girlfriends tonight, so it's just me and the boy. I'm think of hitting up the Redbox on the way home and picking up a scary movie (my wife hates scary movies). Any recommendations on some good, recently released horror flicks?

Edited by Johnny Hammersticks
Posted

I liked Cabin in the Woods from a couple years ago. Although it's kind of a meta-horror movie. It's a horror movie that makes fun of and pays homage to the genre.

 

Other than that, I don't know of any good recent ones. Seems like horror movies have a very low hit to miss ratio.

Posted

I am condemning this thread. Therefore, I win.

 

You will receive compensation in 6 to 8 weeks.

 

I'm not sure you're authorized to condemn stuff around here. I don't recall seeing you around in the VIP lounge and only VIP's can condemn stuff.

Posted

I'm not sure you're authorized to condemn stuff around here. I don't recall seeing you around in the VIP lounge and only VIP's can condemn stuff.

you are out of order. You sir, may not speak. Sir, I follow the law and you must respect habeus corpses judiacial priest systems in order to be in order. Go back to reviewing movies.

Posted

Tried to rent the movie Sinister everywhere (heard it fuggin disturbing), but I could not find it. I ended up going with Prometheus. Not a true horror movie per se, but it came highly recommended by a friend at work. I guess it's the prequel to the 1st Aliens movie.

Posted

Tried to rent the movie Sinister everywhere (heard it fuggin disturbing), but I could not find it. I ended up going with Prometheus. Not a true horror movie per se, but it came highly recommended by a friend at work. I guess it's the prequel to the 1st Aliens movie.

Out of order. You're out of order. This whole thread is out of order.

Posted

I liked Cabin in the Woods from a couple years ago. Although it's kind of a meta-horror movie. It's a horror movie that makes fun of and pays homage to the genre.

 

Other than that, I don't know of any good recent ones. Seems like horror movies have a very low hit to miss ratio.

 

There is a new one kinda based on that same thing: Mama

 

 

 

On second thought... Better not, you will terrorize your boy!

Posted

I spilled coffee all over myself and my desk. I am a legendary jackass and I wear the mark of the stained shirt for all to see.

Pshaw! You sir, are a rank amateur in that department.

Several years ago wifey, kids, and me visited her sister's family in Bethesda for Thanksgiving. Dinner in our families always entails candles at the table. Dinner table was too small to accommodate everyone - including Father and Mother-in-laws, so the four kids had their own table - complete with long tall candles. I pulled serving duty for the kids and reached over the table to get a plate of something. Kids started laughing. I had caught my sweater sleeve on fire and it was dripping flaming globs of goo onto the table.

Well, we put the fire out pretty quickly, but the sweater was cooked - literally. My wife whispered to me that it was a gift from her mother last Christmas. I whispered back, "Can you make a vest out of it?" The cold icy stare I received in return would have been enough to put out the flames by itself.

 

True story.

Posted

What was worse was another time when it was dinner at our house. In-laws were there. Wifey's dad sitting next to me. Oh, did I mention that we all like wine? Well, we do. That and candles are a staple at dinner time around here.

Well, her dad was seated to my right. I was again serving something, and while so engaged, I deftly swept my right hand in an arc that I swear I can still see today. The back of my hand caught my wine glass with a clunk and it fell cleanly over and it was relieved of its entire contents of red wine in a sea of red that engulfed the tablecloth and my father-in-law's kaki chino pants.

 

He still talks to me though. Sometimes.

 

And now - for the 15,000th post of this abomination... who's up next?

Posted

What was worse was another time when it was dinner at our house. In-laws were there. Wifey's dad sitting next to me. Oh, did I mention that we all like wine? Well, we do. That and candles are a staple at dinner time around here.

Well, her dad was seated to my right. I was again serving something, and while so engaged, I deftly swept my right hand in an arc that I swear I can still see today. The back of my hand caught my wine glass with a clunk and it fell cleanly over and it was relieved of its entire contents of red wine in a sea of red that engulfed the tablecloth and my father-in-law's kaki chino pants.

 

He still talks to me though. Sometimes.

 

And now - for the 15,000th post of this abomination... who's up next?

 

yea!

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