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Posted

Help me ... I've fallen and I can't get up ...

If you watch any football on Saturday or Sunday afternoons, you'll see several commercials for pills to help your little problem

Posted (edited)

The label tells me so.

Its gonna sound like Im being facetious, but Im not... I think this statement contains everything we need to know about the human condition. Philosophers, psychologists, sociologists, holy men and women, poets, politicians and intellectuals can all put down what theyre doing and just consider the implications of this little blue strip on beer bottles.

Edited by gringo starr
Posted

It’s gonna sound like I’m being facetious, but I’m not... I think this statement contains everything we need to know about the human condition. Philosophers, psychologists, sociologists, holy men and women, poets, politicians and intellectuals can all put down what they’re doing and just consider the implications of this little blue strip on beer bottles.

 

 

It's kinda like a mood ring for a bottle. Wouldn't it be just dadny if they could develop one of these things for the GF / Wifey? Honey, your label says you are happy ... oops now it says you are bitchy ... gotta run as the label says you are mad ... of course with my wife these changes can occur in nanoseconds so that label had better be quick.

Posted

It's kinda like a mood ring for a bottle. Wouldn't it be just dadny if they could develop one of these things for the GF / Wifey? Honey, your label says you are happy ... oops now it says you are bitchy ... gotta run as the label says you are mad ... of course with my wife these changes can occur in nanoseconds so that label had better be quick.

They should have one to tell you how to respond to whatever craziness is coming out of her mouth, like a teleprompter...

 

 

“Wow, that’s interesting”

 

“I’m sorry”

 

(just nod your head)

 

“I feel the same way”

 

“I can’t believe she disrespected you like that”

 

“Of course your sister can stay with us”

 

“Then what happened?”

 

“No, I don’t think you overreacted at all”

Posted

They should have one to tell you how to respond to whatever craziness is coming out of her mouth, like a teleprompter...

 

 

“Wow, that’s interesting”

 

“I’m sorry”

 

(just nod your head)

 

“I feel the same way”

 

“I can’t believe she disrespected you like that”

 

“Of course your sister can stay with us”

 

“Then what happened?”

 

“No, I don’t think you overreacted at all”

Wow, I must be married to the bestest woman in the world.

Posted

Wow, I must be married to the bestest woman in the world.

Yeah, that could be one too. But you wouldn't want to use it too much. Just every once in a while when you really need to bail yourself out.

Posted

Wow, I must be married to the bestest woman in the world.

 

 

Yeah, that could be one too. But you wouldn't want to use it too much. Just every once in a while when you really need to bail yourself out.

 

 

You both missed the most important ones (in order of importance):

 

Yes dear, I'll be happy to do that for you (must be said while smiling)

 

You look like a waif in that dress

 

I love you very much

Posted

If anyone sees two Charolais cattle headed down the railroad tracks to Charlotte or Raleigh, give me a hollar. I would suspect AJ took them for a lovers tryst...but the investigation is still on going.

 

Literally though, railroad company called and said I had two cows along the railroad...sure enough I am missing two and cannot find them!

Posted

If anyone sees two Charolais cattle headed down the railroad tracks to Charlotte or Raleigh, give me a hollar. I would suspect AJ took them for a lovers tryst...but the investigation is still on going.

 

Literally though, railroad company called and said I had two cows along the railroad...sure enough I am missing two and cannot find them!

 

 

They are at my house enjoying cigars and scotch.

Posted

If anyone sees two Charolais cattle headed down the railroad tracks to Charlotte or Raleigh, give me a hollar. I would suspect AJ took them for a lovers tryst...but the investigation is still on going.

 

Literally though, railroad company called and said I had two cows along the railroad...sure enough I am missing two and cannot find them!

So is that the new thing, free-range organic beef?

Posted

So I bought a lemon from West Herr last week monday. I traded in my old truck for a newer one. Its been a long two week legal battle with west herr but I finally get my old truck back today. In the last week and a half I have driven 8 different vehicles!!!!

Posted

They are at my house enjoying cigars and scotch.

next time, keep'm. [They were about a half mile away in a neighbors field just chilling beside the house - home now]

 

So is that the new thing, free-range organic beef?

I have thought it would be fun to just release a couple dozen pigs somewhere in a downtown area for fun. Grease them up, too.

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