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Wetlands


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I have a project that will make me gobs of money and there is only one problem. Part of the land I'm using has been zoned as "wetlands". It is only 129 acres of the project but it is smack dab in the middle.

 

My question for you political types is this:

 

How much do I have to dry it out before they won't call it wetlands anymore? From my point of view it is not very wet to begin with but the government dudes here keeps yammering on about birds or something.

 

I have an idea of having the Googlebot sew together thousands of Shamwows and drying out the Wetlands. The problem is I will need to show the town they are now Drylands pretty quickly before water starts flowing back in. How long will I need to keep it dry?

 

I could build around the wetlands but I'd really rather just wipe it out and use all of the land.

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I have a project that will make me gobs of money and there is only one problem. Part of the land I'm using has been zoned as "wetlands". It is only 129 acres of the project but it is smack dab in the middle.

 

My question for you political types is this:

 

How much do I have to dry it out before they won't call it wetlands anymore? From my point of view it is not very wet to begin with but the government dudes here keeps yammering on about birds or something.

 

I have an idea of having the Googlebot sew together thousands of Shamwows and drying out the Wetlands. The problem is I will need to show the town they are now Drylands pretty quickly before water starts flowing back in. How long will I need to keep it dry?

 

I could build around the wetlands but I'd really rather just wipe it out and use all of the land.

 

I don't know where this land is located (and with the OP being ieatcrayonz, I'm skeptical of the post's validity) but if it's real, and the same rules apply as in NYS, you can't dry wetlands out & use them.

 

http://www.dec.ny.gov/regs/13337.html

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I don't know where this land is located (and with the OP being ieatcrayonz, I'm skeptical of the post's validity) but if it's real, and the same rules apply as in NYS, you can't dry wetlands out & use them.

 

http://www.dec.ny.gov/regs/13337.html

I am going to have to disagree here. Have you seen a Shamwow in action? I don't care how wet that place is, Shamwow can dry it.

 

I am not sure what the rules are here but Jimmy can take care of that.

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Jimmy Spagnola has taken care of this. No need for Shamwows.

 

You will need to get Al Gore on your side.

He could declare them wet because of global warming.

His people can also help you apply for federal stimulus money to dry them out.

They obviously became wet during the Bush administration, so they will qualify easily for tens of millions in federal bailout money. Why do you think they call it bailout money?

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You will need to get Al Gore on your side.

He could declare them wet because of global warming.

His people can also help you apply for federal stimulus money to dry them out.

They obviously became wet during the Bush administration, so they will qualify easily for tens of millions in federal bailout money. Why do you think they call it bailout money?

That's is not really Jimmy's M.O. And although the tens of millions would be nice, it is not really worth my time in a project like this. It's a bucket in the ocean.

 

Jimmy took care of it with the assistant zoning commissioner. He started with the zoning commissioner but that guy went missing. It was a sad story at first but now watching his kids crying on the news every night is just getting boring. I wonder if he made a trip to the Caribbean like that guy Sanford went to Argentina. Jimmy said after the last time he talked with the guy that he'd be sleeping with the fishes so it must be somewhere tropical. It seems weird that the zoning commissioner could attract international babes but who knows? Sanford is not exactly Don Juan.

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