el Tigre Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. Bartender says "Excuse me there captain,what's with the steering wheel?" Pirate replys "Arrrrrrrg matey,it's driving me nuts"
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 A guy walks into a bar with a toad sitting on his head. The bartender asks, "Where did that thing come from?". Toad says, "Just started off as a wart on my ass and kept growing."
WWVaBeach Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'Cause he was dead. But why'd the squirrel fall outta the tree? 'Cause he was stapled to the monkey.
DC Tom Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Dubya was a joke and a tragedy. A tramedy, if you will. A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." Two men walk into a bar and say ouch, which is kind-of odd when you think about it, because you'd think the second guy would have seen the first and stopped.
DrFishfinder Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 A 3 year old boy discovers his testicles in the bathtub. "Mommy", he asks, "are these my brains"? "Not yet", replies the mother.
Chef Jim Posted May 30, 2009 Posted May 30, 2009 Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. Bartender says "Excuse me there captain,what's with the steering wheel?" Pirate replys "Arrrrrrrg matey,it's driving me nuts" My wife and I met this drunk guy in a bar a couple of weeks back. He tells us that joke. When he gets to the punchline he rolls up his sleeve and he has a tatto on his arm of a pirate with a steering wheel in his pants. The !@#$er had the punch line of your joke tatooed on his arm.
GoodBye Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto!
Steely Dan Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'Cause he was dead. But why'd the squirrel fall outta the tree? 'Cause he was stapled to the monkey. A kid runs into his house; "Hey ma, hey ma!! Can I have $10 for a Guinea Pig?" His mother pulls out a $20. "Here get yourself a nice Irish girl." If it helps an Italian friend told me that one.
rockpile Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Now THAT is a really bad joke! What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto!
Steely Dan Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "WHO THE CARES!!!" How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb. How do they promote people above you at your job? They take them outside to look at a large hole in the ground. If they ask, "Is that my ass?" they're promoted.
Steve O Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 How many men does it take to do the dishes? None, its women's work How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, if your wife can't screw it in herself let her do the dishes in the dark.
WWVaBeach Posted May 31, 2009 Posted May 31, 2009 Do you like putting fishsticks in your mouth? This is another one of those threads that has taken a strange turn.
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