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Posted
Yeah I've HEARD the same thing. :P

 

Favorite quote (probably have to have seen the interview to really appreciate it.)

 

Tony Gwynn and Ted Williams are on Sports Center talking to each other for the Sunday Evening Conversation. Ted and Tony and talking about weight. Ted says, "So you go about what 190, 195?" Tony says in his whiteman's voice, "No actually I'm about 225 right now." (this was in the late 90s when he was still playing) and ol' Teddy Ballgame obviously not caring that the cameras are rolling says:

 

"Jesus Christ you're a fat fug aren't' ya?" :w00t:

 

Obviously it was bleeped out, but to this day it's one of my favorite quotes of all time. Wish I could find it on Al Gore's Inner-net somewhere.

In a similar vein, Bob Costas interviewed Michael Jordan live in the Bulls' lockerroom after they won their first NBA championship. Michael is sitting there embracing the trophy, crying, and sitting next to him is his wife Juanita. After some questions, Costas looks at Juanita and says to Jordan "Michael, I see your mother is here." Jordan stops crying, looks up with a wry smile, and says "thats my wife." Ouch!

Posted
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

 

The first part is ok but the last part explains why Ghandi was so stupid that he wore diapers all the time. He thought he had forever to learn so he never bothered starting.

 

 

"Words that do not match deeds are unimportant"

-- Che Guereva

 

This moron at least stood by his own quotes. He said all of those people should be killed.....and then he killed them.

 

 

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood"

--Oscar Wilde

 

He missed by one verb.

Posted
:censored:

 

Computer is fixed by the way. I gave it to my friend, one of the smartest people I know, and she returned it to me fixed. She tried to explain, but I didn't understand a lick of it.

 

As for favorite quotes, the one in my signature.

 

"Everybody's got a plan til they get punched in the mouth."

 

Iron Mike Tyson

 

"I don't do interviews with women, I fornicate with them."

 

-Mikey

Posted

"The only writing you'll do is in collaboration with an owl."

 

I still have no idea what he meant.

 

-Woody Allen

Posted

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

 

Hobbes

Posted
"Hippies. They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad."

 

-Eric Cartman

 

I usually agree with Eric on this one however I read it while listening to the Allman Brothers from their live album at the Atlanta International Pop Festival 1970. They may smell bad and want to save the earth but man did they/we have great music to listen to. And the pot thing...well <_< you Eric.

Posted

"This is a good intercourse Champagne"

---My wife last week at a Champagne tasting.

 

I think that she meant a good Champagne for in between courses. Maybe not. Stay tuned.

Posted
"This is a good intercourse Champagne"

---My wife last week at a Champagne tasting.

 

I think that she meant a good Champagne for in between courses. Maybe not. Stay tuned.

Just a hunch that your window of opportunity may have passed if those events occured last week.

Posted
Just a hunch that your window of opportunity may have past if those events occured last week.

 

No not necessarily. We bought some of it but have yet to open it. She's out of town this weekend, think I should open one myself or would that lead to Sage's Sticky Keys Syndrome?

 

Oh and before you comment I've been married for 26 years so masturbation and intercourse are pretty much the same thing.

Posted
I usually agree with Eric on this one however I read it while listening to the Allman Brothers from their live album at the Atlanta International Pop Festival 1970. They may smell bad and want to save the earth but man did they/we have great music to listen to. And the pot thing...well <_< you Eric.

Although it is higly likely that smoking pot is one of the contributors to them smelling bad.

Posted
Although it is higly likely that smoking pot is one of the contributors to them smelling bad.

 

Oh I don't know I always thought it smelled pretty good. I think Eric meant they have a tendency to not get close enough to the soap when the shower once a month.

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