jester43 Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 i was dating this crazy-ass runner chick...former ncaa champ, incredible bod, but those chicks are another BREED entirely...i think all the training messes up the delicate hormones that control common sense...but anyway... so the relationship wasn't going so well, and we had this on-and-off thing going on. at one point we had plans to spend the weekend together and go do a race. then the day before the race, she calls me and says she doesn't want to do the race...but did i still plan on coming over to spend the weekend together? honestly i didn't want to, but i felt like if this thing was going to survive i had to make an effort, you know? so i go to her house, and she is just quiet and miserable all weekend. didn't wanna talk, didn't wanna go anywhere, didn't wanna bang, nothing. finally i got bummed out and went home early. then i get an email (AN EMAIL- now that's CLASSY!), asking why did i ruin her weekend by coming down when she CLEARLY didn't want me there, and all i do is want sex and demand she cook my meals and all this outrageous stuff that i SWEAR wasn't true...i mean stevestojan, i am a bleeding heart liberal- i am MORE than capable of recgnizing my flaws, and she missed them ALL ! so obviously she was telling me to buzz off, which was fine with me at that point, but the baseless accusations had me really pissed. the next weekend there was a bachelor party...a friend's cousin...someone i didn't even know. we were at a strip club in phila and i am telling this story to the guys at the party- getting all pissed off at the injustice of it all. finally someone suggests we give her a call...like RIGHT NOW ! so this is before cell phones...and so we are all huddled around the pay phone in the men's room...i am ripped... and when her answering machine picks up i started my rant about how full of stevestojan she was, but that wasn't very entertaining to my buddies, so i quickly descended into the worst stuff i could conjure...thanking her for the anal sex and making insults about the size of her feet...about the tony robbins tapes she had ordered off QVC...basically any mean thing i could think of to wound her pride and embarrass her....and the more laughing in the background, the better. but the kicker was that one of my boys went outside the mens room door and talked one of the strippers into coming in the mens room to get on the phone and tell my now-ex what a B word she was, and to break the news that she (the stripper) had also been !@#$ing me for the last 6 months and how good in bed i was, how she just got done giving me oral an hour ago etc. etc. (god how i wished ). it was just SO over the top. we laughed our asses off all night tryiong to imagine the look on her face when she heard that message. needless to say the next morning there was a message on MY machine...it was her brother calling me to say her whole family hated my guts and i better never try to talk to her again. that seemed reasonable to me, so i never did.
theesir Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 needless to say the next morning there was a message on MY machine...it was her brother calling me to say her whole family hated my guts and i better never try to talk to her again. that seemed reasonable to me, so i never did. 102967[/snapback]
jester43 Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 yeah..maybe i was a little excessive. i actually did call her machine one more time to apologize. i mean, she had it coming, but it was like i responded to a small conventional attack with nukes. i was like karl rove...i figured out her weaknesses and attacked mercilessly. i know the comment about the big feet hurt- but hell, a lot of elite women runners have big feet (don't ask me why). meanwhile, her thighs were like granite, and you could have cracked a walnut between those butt cheeks, so i don't know what all the angst was about. and i STILL miss that sex. but it must have got to her pretty good if she cried to her whole family about it...and they were mad at me...that much i know...
bills_fan Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Instead of Jack can it be the Captain doin my consolin??? The Captain is fine, for me its always been Crown!! BTW - Jester - Nice Job!!
Jon in Pasadena Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Instead of Jack can it be the Captain doin my consolin??? 102930[/snapback] Sure, either one works...the only one I'd advise against is "Captain Jack!"
John from Riverside Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 Jester....that is some funny stevestojan......
Pete Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 I cant really think of any funny storys about me being dumped or vice versa. I always like this one from the Simpsons though. Dear Edna, Welcome to Dumpville. Population-you!
Pete Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 i was dating this crazy-ass runner chick...former ncaa champ, incredible bod, but those chicks are another BREED entirely...i think all the training messes up the delicate hormones that control common sense...but anyway... so the relationship wasn't going so well, and we had this on-and-off thing going on. at one point we had plans to spend the weekend together and go do a race. then the day before the race, she calls me and says she doesn't want to do the race...but did i still plan on coming over to spend the weekend together? honestly i didn't want to, but i felt like if this thing was going to survive i had to make an effort, you know? so i go to her house, and she is just quiet and miserable all weekend. didn't wanna talk, didn't wanna go anywhere, didn't wanna bang, nothing. finally i got bummed out and went home early. then i get an email (AN EMAIL- now that's CLASSY!), asking why did i ruin her weekend by coming down when she CLEARLY didn't want me there, and all i do is want sex and demand she cook my meals and all this outrageous stuff that i SWEAR wasn't true...i mean stevestojan, i am a bleeding heart liberal- i am MORE than capable of recgnizing my flaws, and she missed them ALL ! so obviously she was telling me to buzz off, which was fine with me at that point, but the baseless accusations had me really pissed. the next weekend there was a bachelor party...a friend's cousin...someone i didn't even know. we were at a strip club in phila and i am telling this story to the guys at the party- getting all pissed off at the injustice of it all. finally someone suggests we give her a call...like RIGHT NOW ! so this is before cell phones...and so we are all huddled around the pay phone in the men's room...i am ripped... and when her answering machine picks up i started my rant about how full of stevestojan she was, but that wasn't very entertaining to my buddies, so i quickly descended into the worst stuff i could conjure...thanking her for the anal sex and making insults about the size of her feet...about the tony robbins tapes she had ordered off QVC...basically any mean thing i could think of to wound her pride and embarrass her....and the more laughing in the background, the better. but the kicker was that one of my boys went outside the mens room door and talked one of the strippers into coming in the mens room to get on the phone and tell my now-ex what a B word she was, and to break the news that she (the stripper) had also been !@#$ing me for the last 6 months and how good in bed i was, how she just got done giving me oral an hour ago etc. etc. (god how i wished ). it was just SO over the top. we laughed our asses off all night tryiong to imagine the look on her face when she heard that message. needless to say the next morning there was a message on MY machine...it was her brother calling me to say her whole family hated my guts and i better never try to talk to her again. that seemed reasonable to me, so i never did. 102967[/snapback] Great story Jester!
Jon in Pasadena Posted November 5, 2004 Posted November 5, 2004 cute kid! 103378[/snapback] Thanks, Jester! He be a holy terror though....I lost 10 pounds already chasing that little bugger. Loved your story BTW. I actually have quite a few I can't tell yet due to statutes of limitations not expired yet and so forth... B)
sweet baboo Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 when i was a sophmore in high school, an older chick on my swim team liked me...i had my eye on someone else so i ignored her for a while but boy was she persistent...eventually, i gave in or something and started doing her...prom time rolled around and she finally decides that she can't be seen at the prom with a sophmore and some hotshot senior cross country runner wants to go with her...she tells me that if things don't work out between them, then we'll get back together..."does that sound ok?" apparently all the attention she gave me was nice, but i didn't give a rats ass about her and told her !@#$ no i'm not taking sloppy seconds...2 weeks later, after god knows what they did together, she finds me to tell me that things didn't work out..."can we go back to the way things were?" i wasn't an ass in my reply, but i did take great joy in telling her no and that i was with someone else getting dumped by that "someone else" was another story...involved her and her friends sending me anonymous menacing emails which i traced to them by hacking into their individual email accounts and reading about how they should "deny! deny everything..."....confronted them about it, but never told them that i had hacked into all of their accounts sorry...nothing very juicy here...jackinsyracuse's story was great...that's some payback
njsue Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 Good for you Jack. Dont let anyone take advantage of your good heart.
Just Jack Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 ...jackinsyracuse's story was great...that's some payback 104457[/snapback] Something I forgot to add in the story, she was also 2 months behind in her insurance payment, about $200. Moral of the story, don't F with Jack if you owe him money.
njsue Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 You go Jack. Well I did some guy dirty when I lived in California. Caught the bastard doing me dirty so. I can pretend great. We went out for New Years eve to Marin County. To a place called Margaritaville. Well after a couple of hours, drinks, and a great dinner. I drove us there. After a while I said please excuse me cause I had to go to the ladies room. Hell no. I not only left him with the bill. I left him without a ride to get home. Mind you it was new years eve. I made sure that I could only pull this off if his family and friends where not going to be around. DAMN I AM GOOD.
Fan in San Diego Posted November 7, 2004 Posted November 7, 2004 I have an interesting turn down story. I met this super gorgeous chick in a bar in Ridgeway, Ont. Canada. We were digging each other and wanted to take it to the next level when she says she belongs to a witches coven and the warlock would be pissed if we did it ! I tried to convince her to no avail. ! Imagine being turned down by a gorgeous witch !
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