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Posted

I had a B word empty out my savings account and then dump me. I got her back though... when she was at work I went to her house and pepper sprayed everything. The door handles, the toilet seat, her pillows and clothes. That night she went out partying and got home late. Imagine her surprise when she started to get a burning sensation. She called all my friends at 3am trying to track me down. Boy was she pissed. :w00t:

Posted

I went to this Oyster festival once with a buddy of mine. Neither one of us had steady girlfriends at the time. After a day of downing many adult beverages, we met this redheaded chick and the three of us ended up partying into the night on her father's boat. My buddy had designs on her but she was digging me, so she and I ended up messing around that night. The next morning she made us these killer sandwiches. Anyway, she gave us her number but I wasn't interested in anything more than a hookup, so my buddy started going out with her for a while. She started getting serious but he "wasn't in that place."

One night they were going at it on his couch and he says to her in mid...er..."bangage": "I don't think we should see each other any more." Talk about coitus interuptus! Apparently, she took it well (but I have my doubts) and they kept in touch for a little while.

Moral of the story: No matter how bad you think you were dumped, somebody's got it worse.

(Hang in there, dude...it will get better :w00t: )

Posted
One night they were going at it on his couch and he says to her in mid...er..."bangage": "I don't think we should see each other any more."

 

Maybe he just meant that she should turn over while he closed his eyes. :w00t:

Posted
Maybe he just meant that she should turn over while he closed his eyes.  <_<

101473[/snapback]

 

Nah...that's why they invented the light switch. :devil:

Posted

A buddy of mine came home one day and his wife was packing all her stuff. When he asked her what was going on she said she was leaving because she just found out he was a pedophile. He said "pedophile?... Thats a pretty big word for a 12 year old." <_<

Posted
Who used a bed in high school? We still had drive-in movies back then.

 

I've never seen her again, and along with some other girlfriends has always wondered how she turned out and what she looks like now.  Has anyone had the experience of meeting an old girlfriend 10-20 years after last seeing her?

101085[/snapback]

 

 

High school reunions. Met quite a few there. <_<

Posted
I was dating a girl here in Nashville for a few weeks during football season....well, I had a hockey tournament that was pretty competitive and in the game I was playing D and ended up getting a little physical....it was the championship and all...well this girl proceeds to tell me after that I am an ahole in hockey and too rough and she couldn't believe I'd just knock someone down, etc (it is non checking but he had a clear shot at the net....it's not my fault someone has no balance....no penalty either).....well I'm sitting there thinking this isn't going so well and then she lays into me for being "physcho" during Bills games.....that was our last date so I don't know if she dumped me but after that I started dating transplanted Northerners.....

101311[/snapback]

 

It sounds like she didn't like you for some other reason and used the hockey thing as an excuse.

Northern girls suck, I need a transplanted southerner.

Posted

Not a breakup, but something after a breakup. My girlfriend decided to start seeing this other guy exclusively, but we still stayed friends (she even hooked me up with a friend of hers). While we were dating, we put her cars registration and insurance in my name to save money on insurance (DWI on her record). The agreement was she would give me the money each month for her part of the insurance. We continued this after we stopped dating each other. Well, Christmas is coming, and we had been just friends for about 8-9 months. We had a mutual friend that invited both of us to her Holiday Party. Well Susan, real name, decides that she wouldn't want me there because she had started dating another guy recently and would feel akward. I refused to not go, so she calls up the person throwing the party and gets me "uninvited". Her car just happened to be coming up on the 1 year reneal point. (Can you see where this is going?) So I decided to take her car off my insurance, but in order to do that, I've got to turn in the plates and end the registration (title was still in her name). So at 3am one morning I drove over to her place, and removed the plates from her car. 8am, I'm at the DMV as soon as they open and turn in the plates to get the registration cancel form for the insurance company. 9am I'm at the insurance agent cancelling the insurance on her car. She did try calling me that evening, but I refused to take her call.

Ahhh.... good times.....

Posted

Dated a girl for about 3 years. She left me for a girl. I could get more into detail, but telling that much hurts. To think I was so bad she gave up on a whole gender because of me.

 

Damn I must suck in bed.

 

 

:unsure:

Posted
Maybe he just meant that she should turn over while he closed his eyes.  :D

101473[/snapback]

 

Damn I almost spit out my drink when I read that!

 

:unsure:

Posted
Dated a girl for about 3 years.  She left me for a girl.  I could get more into detail, but telling that much hurts.  To think I was so bad she gave up on a whole gender because of me. 

 

Damn I must suck in bed. 

:unsure:

102116[/snapback]

 

Is your name George Costanza?

Posted
Not a breakup, but something after a breakup. My girlfriend decided to start seeing this other guy exclusively, but we still stayed friends (she even hooked me up with a friend of hers). While we were dating, we put her cars registration and insurance in my name to save money on insurance (DWI on her record). The agreement was she would give me the money each month for her part of the insurance. We continued this after we stopped dating each other. Well, Christmas is coming, and we had been just friends for about 8-9 months. We had a mutual friend that invited both of us to her Holiday Party. Well Susan, real name, decides that she wouldn't want me there because she had started dating another guy recently and would feel akward. I refused to not go, so she calls up the person throwing the party and gets me "uninvited". Her car just happened to be coming up on the 1 year reneal point. (Can you see where this is going?) So I decided to take her car off my insurance, but in order to do that, I've got to turn in the plates and end the registration (title was still in her name). So at 3am one morning I drove over to her place, and removed the plates from her car. 8am, I'm at the DMV as soon as they open and turn in the plates to get the registration cancel form for the insurance company. 9am I'm at the insurance agent cancelling the insurance on her car. She did try calling me that evening, but I refused to take her call.

Ahhh.... good times.....

102096[/snapback]

Awesome.

Posted
Not a breakup, but something after a breakup. My girlfriend decided to start seeing this other guy exclusively, but we still stayed friends (she even hooked me up with a friend of hers). While we were dating, we put her cars registration and insurance in my name to save money on insurance (DWI on her record). The agreement was she would give me the money each month for her part of the insurance. We continued this after we stopped dating each other. Well, Christmas is coming, and we had been just friends for about 8-9 months. We had a mutual friend that invited both of us to her Holiday Party. Well Susan, real name, decides that she wouldn't want me there because she had started dating another guy recently and would feel akward. I refused to not go, so she calls up the person throwing the party and gets me "uninvited". Her car just happened to be coming up on the 1 year reneal point. (Can you see where this is going?) So I decided to take her car off my insurance, but in order to do that, I've got to turn in the plates and end the registration (title was still in her name). So at 3am one morning I drove over to her place, and removed the plates from her car. 8am, I'm at the DMV as soon as they open and turn in the plates to get the registration cancel form for the insurance company. 9am I'm at the insurance agent cancelling the insurance on her car. She did try calling me that evening, but I refused to take her call.

Ahhh.... good times.....

102096[/snapback]

 

Now THAT's a story!! :unsure::D

Posted

Not super funny but here's what I got:

 

One girl I dated for a few months in college. She used to go out with an upperclassman acquaintance of mine, but the next year he took off for Grad school and one night me & "J" hooked up. Thought things were going pretty well for a few months, then I got the damnedest christmas card while I was back in WNY visiting the folks. It said "Christmas is like sex: in the end you !@#$ing pay for it!" Well it's been 20 yrs and I still have no idea WTF that meant. ;) Bu I did make a hurried trip to the Doc just to make sure it didn't mean you know what! :D (It didn't!) ;)

 

Anyhow, J blew me off a few weeks after that and headed up north to reunite with her ex- (same grad school) who later cheated on her with an array of bimbos and generally treated her like crap. I was pissed for a while then consoled myself all summer with a baaaarely legal chica... :wacko:

 

Another girl, (also a "J" -- coincidence or spooky -- you decide!) I was dating for over a year when she went on vacation for a few weeks and left me the keys to her room. The housing dept. suddenly decided to revamp her building so I had like 24 hours to move all her crap somewhere safe, and otherwise prepare for the whole rehabilitation/repainting process. Which I did by pulling a really nasty all-nighter. And then repeated the whole process in reverse a week later when housing finished the remodel, plus clean, vacuum and organize all her crap. So J2 gets back from her vacation to a nice, spanking new, clean, freshly painted, organized room. And repays me a few weeks later by dumping me for some musclebound artistic physicist dude who was supposedly a friend of mine. Or at least a FOAF. Who she'd insisted she wasn't interested in. Whatever. I felt like a friggin' idiot for wasting my time and energy like that and being pretty irate I gave her a good talking to which basically boiled down to "you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas" and then I crawled into a bottle of Jack and played "Eve" like 1,000 times.

 

Upshot of this one is that a year later she dumped muscle-boy and a few months after that he ate a bottle of cyanide. No foolin'. J2 eventually married yet another former friend of mine, divorced him, and basically disappeared into the ether.

 

Me? Happily married 7 years with a great wife and an awesome kid. So something better will definitely turn up for you! And until then...there's always Mr. Daniels... :P

Posted

no really funny stuff, most i can say is that i got dumped on valentine's day by a girl that had some money, and her excuse was that she couldn't afford a gift. I talked to one of my old buddies a week later and he was going out with her and she bought him a whole bunch of crap.

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