buckeyemike Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 From someone you may be familiar with (especially Yankees fans) Apparently this person had much of his personal wealth tied up in Stanford financial accounts: Dear Sir, Good day and compliments to you! This letter will definitely come to you as a huge surprise, as you probably do not receive messages from Major League ballers every day, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued life in the lap of luxury and wealth. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mr. Johnny David Damon, (formerly a.k.a. "Caveman"), the centerfielder of the New York Baseball YANKEES and one of the many pinstriped sons of the House of Steinbrenner, currently located in the Bronx, NYC, USA. Please/nice meet you. My ordeal started in early 2009 after the offices of the dishonorable Allen Stanford were raided and shut down due to complicated but fun PONZI SCHEME. The present democratic government is determined to portray all the good work of my easily-swindled financial advisor in a very bad light and have gone as far as freezing all my accounts assets, properties, freezing our accounts both within and outside America. As I am writing this letter to you from Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, USA, my pool cleaner, housemaids, driver and butler is undergoing a long wait in their local post office. We simply do not have enough funds to compensate them for their varied and value services. It has shamed our house across the land! Dear sir, I have made over $80 MILLION IN SALARY alone in my career, yet the banking system in my country will not yet release any of it to me. Please, I seek your indulgence to assist us in securing these funds. We are not allowed to see or discuss with any teammates and Few occasions I have tried to ask MR. DEREK JETER or SIR A-ROD to loan a few dollars have all failed. May the honorable GOD have mercy on them. As I mentioned, I have/will have more than Eighty Million USD ($80,000,000.00) specially preserved and well packed in New York Yankee duffel bags and equipment trucks in the near future. It will be packed in such a way to forestall just anybody having access to it. It is this sum that I seek your assistance to get out of Tampa/Bronx Borough as soon as possible before Scott Boras finds out about it and confiscates it. To help, I please so humbly ask that you immediately wire MR. XAVIER NADY and I the amount of $14,388.82 so that we may pay part of our mortgages and stave off the crisis that is swallowing us like great monster. Doing so will entitle you to all of my earnings from May to September, plus one (1) 2004 World Series ring, three (3) "Johnny Damon is My Homeboy" t-shirt and six (6) copies of Idiot. May the Bleacher Creatures and Media Man show me mercy as you do so? Your faithfully, Mr. Johnny David Damon (1st Gen., Bronx Bomber Army) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Are you not a Yankee fan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckeyemike Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 Are you not a Yankee fan? No. I root for the Cleveland Indians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 It is amazing to me how poorly some wealthy people manage their finances. This is a case study for what not to do if you happen to suddenly become rich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 It is amazing to me how poorly some wealthy people manage their finances. This is a case study for what not to do if you happen to suddenly become rich. Put that money into the driveway tar biz. Sure fire profits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Is it just for you, or can I send him my info? I want in on the deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Tom Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Still not quite as good as the one my brother got about having inhereted $40M from me when I died two years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Still not quite as good as the one my brother got about having inhereted $40M from me when I died two years ago. may your sole RIP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 may your sole RIP Tom's always been a stiff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I feel bad for these guys, but that's pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageAgainstTheMachine Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Still not quite as good as the one my brother got about having inhereted $40M from me when I died two years ago. Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Tom's always been a stiff. Not according to his wife ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. We've always assumed you were just brain dead .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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