Movinon Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 We have a Sheltie just shy of 12 years. In the past few months, we have had her back and forth to the Vet, trying every pain medication known to help her cope with her arthritis and hip dysplasia. Nothing has helped and now she struggles to climb even one step from the walkway to the porch. She has been urinating and defecating in the house when we are gone for any prolonged period of time during the day. So, my question is, how does one know when it is time to humanely put an end to their suffering. Everyone has said, you will know, the dog will tell you in her own way. I’m not convinced by this notion. By all accounts, she still “appears” fairly happy and wants to be in our company; however deep down we know she is in tremendous pain. The reality is, taking care of her is becoming a challenge and for a lack of better words, she is becoming a burden. This is why we are struggling with the decision. We don’t want to end her life prematurely and then question whether our motives were selfish, however we also don’t want to selfishly prolong her life because we are so emotionally attached to her…..talk about a double edge sword. Anyone here share some of their own experiences in how they arrived to the final decision? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffaloboyinATL Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 My 6 year old Great Dane had bone cancer which caused his front leg to have a growth that was nearly the size of a basketball. We used medication to manage his pain and helped him in and out of the house to use the bathroom for several weeks once he could no longer do it on his own. He seemed to be relatively comfortable and enjoyed being around us so we continued to assist him. One day he could no longer get up on his own and laid on the kitchen floor in his own excrement. I believe this was his way of letting us know that he was ready to go and we had him put to sleep. We held him and said goodbye so that he got to be with us until the very end. As sad as we were (are) to lose him, it was the right thing to do. I understand your concern about being selfish and putting her to sleep because she is a burden to you, but at the same time, don't keep her around for your own sake if her quality of life is gone. It will be a painful decision either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 My girlfriend had a wonderful German Shepherd that had been a companion and gaurd dog for nearly twelve years and was getting sicker and sicker. We kept him around although mostly blind and having a hard doing pretty much anything. I didn't hink it was my place to suggest that it was time to go, but as I finally decided to tell her what I thought at dinner she took it in on her own that afternoon. God that was a sad sad experience. So I guess I'm saying that you will know when the time comes. Sorry for your pain. I had to put down a cat (I didn't want the thing but my daughter kind of foisted him on me and we tolerated each other for years) and to my surprise found it very painful to let him go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'd add that one should go in with your pet, not just hand it over. Its' last moments should have the comfort and support of being around you, not just strangers - however gentle they may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philly McButterpants Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 It's always tough to lose a member of the family . . . We had a golden retriever mix back in the day who had arthritis and hip problems. We knew it was time when she could no longer squat to pee. She kept falling down and could not get back up. Her hips were so sensitive that she would snap at us when we would grab her near her back legs to help her get back up. She was 13 . . . Condolences in advance for your loss . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 sounds to me like you know the answer and you simply need to 'ask it out loud' to convince yourself. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plenzmd1 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I do not know if you ever know for certain, but you do know in your gut. Summer of 07, my 13 yr old lab mix was in the midst of her kidneys failing and just generally getting really old. While we did not have the bathroom problem, we did have to give her subcuteaneous(sp) fluids twice a day for the last six months. She hated it, it took thirty minutes each time, but it was only way to keep her going. I know plenty of times I questioned how I/we could spend an hr day doing that with teo young kids, two working parents, etc. One Monday i had scheduled an afternoon appt with the vet hoping that she could give me direction. Alas, a work crisis came up and we never made it there. That night, she went off in the backyard for a bit longer than normal, and both my wife and I thought it strange. Next day, my then 7 yr old daughter found her in her favorite sunspot on the back porch dead as a doorknob. Rough on all of us to say the least. I guess what I am trying to say is yes, you do know when it is time. Do not feel guilty for thinking it is a lot of work or becoming a burden, we have all had those thoughts. Do what you think it is right, as it is the right move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricojes Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 sounds to me like you know the answer and you simply need to 'ask it out loud' to convince yourself. Good luck Not necessarily. I don't think he's come to any decision at all. Asking a question, isn't admitting you've made a decision. But that being said, only you and your family can truly make the ultimate decision. I may be selfish, but I try to give my pets as much time as needed. But if they continue to digress and are in pain, the decision becomes clearer. Burden or not, they are a part of the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 You will know. Hard to say when that is because you have to know your own pet, but really, there will be a point where you'll just know that it is time. One thing to ask yourself is whether you are putting in the effort for the pet, or for you. Another thing to keep in mind, and I feel this is a pretty important one, is whether the pet is alone for extended periods of time when it might die alone, maybe when you are at work. Having put a pet to sleep two years ago, if she had died while my wife and I were out rather than in our arms and comfortable, I don't think I would have been able to handle that. Really, having the ability to give a loved member of the family the gift of a peaceful, comfortable and dignified end is pretty special. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastaJoe Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I know it's not the same as a dog, but we've had 2 guinea pig sisters for 6 years since they were young, and one of them was listless and bloated, and the vet suspected she had a heart condition. We could have given her medication to keep her going, but it would just prolong the inevitable and she wouldn't get better. I felt bad because she still seemed alert, and the vet said I could take her home and think about it. But I decided that would just make it tougher, so I made the decision for the family and had her put to sleep. We got another pig so her sister wouldn't be alone. Funny how we get so attached to animals, but sometimes we have to do what's best for them, not us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacka Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Our dog in the 80s was about 10 years old. He started getting thinner in the front and fatter in the rear, ate less and had trouble going down the three stairs to the outside. We took him in for an x-ray. He had fluid below the diaphragm -the x-ray was solid white. We took him home for a few days and said our goodbyes. My father, who always acted as if he couldn't care less for the dog was crying when he said goodbye. The dog would get all agitated when going to the car, because he knew it was a trip to the vet, but on the last trip, he was very calm and peaceful. He knew what it was for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 When he starts costing a lot of money that you do not have , it's time . Sometimes we keep them around for our own selfish reasons . We had to put our dog down several years ago because of a mass growing in his hart . The wife kids and i all went in and sat petting him as he went to sleep ,very hard to say gooodbye . We have done this with several cats also . The rabbit went to garabge can heaven and we still have not found the remains of the gerbil . I think one of the cats had it for a meal . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricojes Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 When he starts costing a lot of money that you do not have , it's time . Sometimes we keep them around for our own selfish reasons . We had to put our dog down several years ago because of a mass growing in his hart . The wife kids and i all went in and sat petting him as he went to sleep ,very hard to say gooodbye . We have done this with several cats also . The rabbit went to garabge can heaven and we still have not found the remains of the gerbil . I think one of the cats had it for a meal . Spending more than you can afford to keep your pet alive is being selfish? Sorry, but I don't understand that statement... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Spending more than you can afford to keep your pet alive is being selfish? Sorry, but I don't understand that statement... 2 differents statements . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricojes Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 2 differents statements . Ok, sorry, just sounded weird when I read it. Speaking of money though, does anyone think pet insurance is worth the money? I heard it's usually about $200-300 dollars a year with a deductible. I have Dachshunds and I always fear for their backs. I don't want to change the subject, but was just curious if anyone has pet insurance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullpen Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I can't help you at all with that answer, as I know I'm going to be in the same situation in the next year or two with Thurman. All I can say, it I pray you'll have the strength to make the right decision and I'm sorry you have to make it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Ok, sorry, just sounded weird when I read it. Speaking of money though, does anyone think pet insurance is worth the money? I heard it's usually about $200-300 dollars a year with a deductible. I have Dachshunds and I always fear for their backs. I don't want to change the subject, but was just curious if anyone has pet insurance... How about a "healer"......not sure why but this conversation made me think of this scene in Seinfeld: KRAMER: I'll tell you what to do, I'll tell you what to do. You go to Tor Eckman. Tor, Tor, he'll fix you right up. He's a herbalist, a healer, George. He's not just gonna fix the tonsils and the adenoids, he is gonna change the whole way you function - body and mind. JERRY: Eckman? I thought he was doing time? KRAMER: No, no, he's out. He got out. See, the medical establishment, see, they tried to frame him. It's all politics. But he's a rebel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 We have a Sheltie just shy of 12 years... My dog Billie (see my profile pic) has arthritis in her hips. She's a little over 12 years old now. About a year ago, she had a bad flare up and could not walk. The vet recommended an anti-inflammatory drug called Metacam. It has worked really well for her. I don't know if it will work for your dog or not (a small percentage of dogs' digestive systems won't tolerate it), but I suggest bringing it up with your vet. I believe it has added years to my Billie's life. She is back to running around like her regular happy self. I really hope you can find something that works for you. I know what an amazing friend a dog can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsWatch Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Our family's first dog Ivan developed cancer but despite recommendations of others we had him treated by the vet which involved quite a bit of removal of his nose. The vet did a good job putting together his nose back together and a few weeks it was barely visible. The vet was surprised how well he seemed to recover from the surgery but half a year later we found lumps in his belly and returned to vet. The vet did not recommend surgery again and Ivan did seem to be having any issues so we choose not to put him to sleep. He got sicker a couple of months later finally developing lumps in paws which would break/bleed and making it difficult to walk so finally decided to give him the rest he deserved. We took him to vet and held him while he was given his shot until he drifted off forever. Most difficult thing we had to do but we could not put him through anymore pain although he seemed to enjoy himself when with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UConn James Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I'd add that one should go in with your pet, not just hand it over. Its' last moments should have the comfort and support of being around you, not just strangers - however gentle they may be. You will know. Hard to say when that is because you have to know your own pet, but really, there will be a point where you'll just know that it is time. One thing to ask yourself is whether you are putting in the effort for the pet, or for you. Another thing to keep in mind, and I feel this is a pretty important one, is whether the pet is alone for extended periods of time when it might die alone, maybe when you are at work. Having put a pet to sleep two years ago, if she had died while my wife and I were out rather than in our arms and comfortable, I don't think I would have been able to handle that. Really, having the ability to give a loved member of the family the gift of a peaceful, comfortable and dignified end is pretty special. Good luck to you. We had two German Shorthaired Pointers, a father and a son from a litter. The father, at 13 years old in late June 2007, had had swollen joints from a combination of arthritis and Lyme (in CT, dogs (and people) pretty much will get Lyme. Read a little about Plum Island, what they research/experiment there, what Lyme disease does, and draw your own conclusions) as well as bumpy tumors all along his back and chest. Many times when he was on his haunches and wanted to move and just couldn't, with his head bobbing side to side, and on one long episode and when he was having trouble with steps and really wasn't eating for a couple of weeks, we took him to the vet to give him his dignity. Although I wanted to, we didn't stay. Came back and got him and buried him on acreage across town. I selected a nice natural stone and had a guy we know do an engraving with those Yeats lines about his dog that really fit ours. He was a gentle giant, a bit like a non-violent version of George in "Of Mice and Men" but loyal, listened (when you clapped, he turned on a dime: he did this in front of Paul Newman at his camp for kids once, who said, "What a beautiful dog!"), and was a great friend. We had to put down his son, who was nominally my dog, this past late June, come to find that it turned out to be exactly a year to the very hour. This was not the slow progression. We had went out to WNY for my grandfather's funeral (whose own dogs' name from when he was in Holland, I named my dog) and we took him with us --- very bad experience at the only time we had used a kennel during my brother's wedding. It went fine for the trip, apart from a reluctance to eat which I thought might be the trip --- he'd been a little reluctant for a while at home, which was not like him, but he was gobbling down cookies. We walked all the fields at the farm and he seemed fine as ever. Got home, he laid down on his bed and hardly got up again. It was painful; at 3 a.m. before I had an appointment next morning, I woke to a loud whimper/howling. Vet diagnosed a large tumor in his abdomen and said it would be best to put him down; he probably wouldn't survive surgery that probably wouldn't do much at that stage anyway. This time we stayed, I was determined to not let him go alone (tho the vet knew both of our dogs well and had a good rapport), said goodbye, I opened his eyes, and I hope he heard or smelled me through his shivering and hibernation-like state. It was such a rapid onset, but a day in the life of a dog is like a week to our bodies. Add in that they have pretty high pain thresholds; they feel it, but don't show it. Movinon, I would keep that in mind. stuckincincy, I would agree that it's honorable and important to be there so they have a friend to the very end. But being there was so much harder to take. Even now, just conjuring these memories I'm getting all sobby and drainy. But many of the variables are changed --- expectation of the father vs. shock for the son, having had the son to cushion the first loss probably was big. Johnny, I would've actually preferred them going peacefully in their sleep. It relieves you of any burden of guilt/selfishness. I felt like that for the father. Was it too soon? Should we have waited another day? Another week? Another month? That it came a year to the hour, exactly, gave me a little solace / 'sign' that it was the right decision. The chest paint that accompanies grief dissipated only about last month; really felt like I had a weight pressing down on my upper chest. He really was my best friend, and at times, especially in recent years, he was my only friend. We've now gotten another stone carved for the son's grave, right near his dad. It's sitting on the hearth, waiting for some of the snow to melt a little or a chance to get over there and put it there and we'll place in in the spring. Movinon, I'd suggest some kind of ritual, especially if you have children, if/when you decide. Having a burial, have a photo enlarged and framed, having a stone made, etc. And for anyone who says "it's just a dog" --- you erase them from your Rolodex b/c you don't want people who think like that in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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