UN in a Nutshell

[swede316]

My bro Cliff hits the nail on the head...from his email.

 

Well, I hope I answered this question right....in a math class today we reviewed some basic combination math and one problem struck me as interesting: How many ways are there to select 12 countries in the United Nations to serve on a council if 3 are selected from a block of 45, 4 are selected from a block of 57, and the others are selected from the remaining 69 countries? Well mathematically the answer is simple C(45,3)*C(57,4)*C(69,5). But, the more I thought about it, I submitted this as my answer.

 

First of all, it boggles my mind that there are this many member nations in the United Nations. Most of the "technologically advanced" and "civilized" countries of the world usually don't see any situation the same way but, factor in the votes of no-name shitholes populated by people who communicate in pops and clicks and value cow dung and wooden bracelts as the backbone of their commodities market. How did these "Nations" obtain membership? What do they possibly have to offer the larger world community in the way of finacial support, military aid, medicine and/or governmental discipline? Shouldn't a basic requirement for U.N. membership be at least that you have invented gun powder and paper? Hell, you can't ride a roller coaster in this country without being "at least as tall as this line" and yet you rank entry into the premiere world power organization without even so much as the printing press! This whole damn organization is just welfare on a global scale. I think that once the 1st world countries(all 2 of them) started the U.N. they realized that it was no different than the alliance they had before so they had to relax requirements a little to attract more members. The revised application for U.N. membership must look something like this now:

 

1: Do you create anything the world would possibly want?

 

2: Do you sell anything the world would possibly want?

 

3: Can more than 2% of your people be filmed at any time without a cluster of hungry flies gathered on their mouths?

 

4: Can you feed yourselves?

 

5: Is your government more than just a guy with a mammoth bone club, who bludgeons all who oppose his claim to the dung pile?

 

If the answer to all of these questions is NO.......you're in!.....WTF?!!

 

Given this stupifying reality, it becomes clear that the first part of the solution to the math question above is 1. I come to this conclusion based on the fact that out of the first 45 countries that you must choose from, they are all equally backward, !@#$ed up, and generally of the same opinion : "Chuka, pop, click click...pop, click pop click " translated :"This is the greatest scam in history so just go along with the ones who promise you the most wooden bracelets"....so why choose more than one country from this group when all the opinions you'll get will be identical if not impossible to translate?

 

While the dung collectors and sand farmers of the first group are on global gravy train, at least they are easy to figure out. They will send up a smoke signal in favor of which ever nation assures them that the radiation from their particular bomb tests will not harm local wildlife or anger the dung beetle god. Choosing 4 nations from the next group of 57 is a bit more difficult. This unlikely and unnecessary rabble of 2nd world countries(Those that know it's not safe to drink water you just stevestojan in, but aren't sure why) has usually one commodity or service that they've somehow cultivated into a useful bargaining chip. These countries main interest in the U.N. is the "rule of law" joke of a mandate in the charter document. They are just smart enough to know that this so called "law" keeps the bigger fish from eating the smaller fish..namely themselves. Technically, any real country could just take by force or guile the goods or services these pathetic, trailer park dwelling, second cousins of 1st world nations, peddle to keep themselves just 500 years behind the development of the 1st world nations. The scary part about this group is that they know just enough to manipulate the "law" to constantly rule in their favor..after all, no one wants to be accused of trying to take candy from a retarded kid. These countries, very effectively play the victims in any situation and claim that they need aid and assistance for any unrelated tradgedy. For example, Japan gets rocked by a series of crippling earthquakes...South Korea then claims that due to the loss of Japanese lives, their tourism and export businesses will collapse unless the U.N. comes to their rescue with 2 billion dollars in "initial" aid. And they are always smart enough to make sure that they use the term "initial" when speaking of money so as not to cut themselves out of any future dips into the world bank honeypot should Tanzania ask for and receive 4 billion. So really, the answer to the second question of C(57,4) is 0. I calculate this because I realized that no matter how many member nations from this pool are chosen, it will cost the 1st world countries 50 billion dollars anyway. Therefore, why bother asking for their opinion on any council or board, just pay them and carry on with the plan of the day.

 

The last issue to be resolved in this complex mathematical analysis is that of selecting 5 member nations from the remaining 67 countries. I know the problem said 69 countries but knowing that the United States and Britain will never be chosen by any of the others, and even if they were, their votes would be decried as Tyranical and unjust, so I figured it would be better to leave them out all together. The remaining 67 nations are a crazy mix of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd world mentalities with no means to really put it all together into anything that works. It's like having 4 big, hairy balls and no rooster. All the weapns and none of the delivery systems. So, these countries will beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat, and swindle in an attempt to claw 1/20th of the way closer to being a 1st world nation while staying just far enough behind to keep their 2nd world victim status. The ultimate goal of these countries is not to actually become first world, as they've witnessed first hand how those countries take it in the shorts due to that "rule of law" crap they invented. However, they do want 1st world goodies including but not limited to nuclear weapons. These countries know that you can get a lot more with "rule of law" and a "nuke" than you can with "wooden bracelets" and "victim status". It might not bother the 1st world countries so much but they know that most likely the nukes will go off in the hands of the idiots that aquire them or on the land of the guy next door. In either case, this immediately entitles them to invoke their "victim status" which then requires that "by rule of law" all the 1st world nations build them a new country, clean up the mess, conquer their enemies and give them "Head of the line" privilages to the dinner trough known as the world bank. In the end, I cannot think of any reason to choose any members from this group except the ones that I ommited at the beginning. But reiterating the point that no one would listen to those two nations, I guess the only logical solution to this part of the question is also 0.

 

In conclusion, the answer must be C(45,3)*C(57,4)*C(69,5) = 1

 

This analysis can only lead one to conclude that if the poppers and clickers are the ones deciding how the world should be run, then there won't be any victims, nukes, or rule of law. But, you better start saving up dog stevestojan to barter for bracelets cause there ain't no pork in a Zimbabwe spending bill.

 

 

 

Cliff