Predict Dick Jauron's Post Game Press Conference after Jets game

[COACH85]

It will take all of about 10-15 seconds into the press conference and then we will start to see Dick Jauron do one of the following annoying things:

- rub his face (he especially likes the chin area) as if he has posion ivy or maybe just had a good shave or better yet maybe just trying to get that mole off the side of his face that appeared within the past year

- rub his eyes as if he was just waking up in the morning over and over again

- rub the back of his head as if he just fell down and got a boo boo and his mommy told him if he rubbed it, he would feel better

- rub his eyebrows and (or) front of his head as if he thinks he is losing not only his team but his eyebrows due to old age and stupid game time decision making and is once again searching for answers but unable to come up with any

 

Along with these predicatable and constant itching/rubbing actions you might hear the following comments:

 

"Well, the guys played really hard, they worked really hard and never quit but as I always tell them, if we don't protect the ball in this league, we won't win many games and thats what happened". (Losman will be a turnover machine once again today)

 

"The Jets are a really good team you know, they are really good, they have alot of talent and as I tell my guys all the time, on any given Sunday we can beat any team but at the same time any team can beat us as well". Geez Dick, thanks for clearing that up for us, AGAIN!

 

"We deferred the opening kickoff today because we have our own personal reasons and its for me to know and you to find out because I'm just not telling you so stop asking me that question every week". Alot good that decision does for us Dick, way to let the other team jump out to an early lead on us and gain monentum. At least it wouldn't hurt to try and take the opening kickoff and maybe Leodis possibly returning it for the game opening touchdown and 7 points that we just can't make anymore through our "vanilla" offense.

 

"Well, we're still in the hunt because we're not OFFICIALLY out of it yet so yes, we would have liked to win the game but it just didn't work out that way and we are what we are, 6-8". NEWSFLASH DICK, YOU AND YOUR PREDICATABLE TEAM ARE OFFICIALLY OUT OF IT AFTER TODAY'S JET LOSS! "Well, I'm not able to comment on that right now because I will have to look at the tape. In any case, thats okay though because if anyone would have told me we would be 6-8 with two games left based on my career Won-Lost record, I would take it in a heartbeat. Hey, we have a chance to be .500 with two games left and thats what we're shooting for. It will mean we will have improved our team this year. We're gonna keep fighting and working hard, they're a good group of guys. They can't seem to stay healthy for these last two years but they're a good group of guys and I really like them. I'm now worried about them and (or) losing the players because I know we will keep battling".

Dick, are you worried about job security due to the recent struggles of your team?

"NO, not at all, don't forget I just signed an extension after we started out 5-1 so for me to be up hear at the podium knowing our team has gone 1-6 since that extension, I'm feeling pretty good. Now if I didn't sign that extension, I might be telling you a different story. We just gotta get back to work, we'll watch the tape, fix our mistakes, and move on and take things from here. There is nothing we can do about what has happened up until this point of this season because it has happened already so we'll work and try to get better". THANK YOU SO MUCH DICK FOR SUCH AN UNINSPIRING PREDICATABLE PRESS CONFERENCE, NOT TO MENTION THE REPEATED ACTIONS WITH YOUR SKIN CONDITION!

[generaLee83]

It will take all of about 10-15 seconds into the press conference and then we will start to see Dick Jauron do one of the following annoying things:

- rub his face (he especially likes the chin area) as if he has posion ivy or maybe just had a good shave or better yet maybe just trying to get that mole off the side of his face that appeared within the past year

- rub his eyes as if he was just waking up in the morning over and over again

- rub the back of his head as if he just fell down and got a boo boo and his mommy told him if he rubbed it, he would feel better

- rub his eyebrows and (or) front of his head as if he thinks he is losing not only his team but his eyebrows due to old age and stupid game time decision making and is once again searching for answers but unable to come up with any

 

Along with these predicatable and constant itching/rubbing actions you might hear the following comments:

 

"Well, the guys played really hard, they worked really hard and never quit but as I always tell them, if we don't protect the ball in this league, we won't win many games and thats what happened". (Losman will be a turnover machine once again today)

 

"The Jets are a really good team you know, they are really good, they have alot of talent and as I tell my guys all the time, on any given Sunday we can beat any team but at the same time any team can beat us as well". Geez Dick, thanks for clearing that up for us, AGAIN!

 

"We deferred the opening kickoff today because we have our own personal reasons and its for me to know and you to find out because I'm just not telling you so stop asking me that question every week". Alot good that decision does for us Dick, way to let the other team jump out to an early lead on us and gain monentum. At least it wouldn't hurt to try and take the opening kickoff and maybe Leodis possibly returning it for the game opening touchdown and 7 points that we just can't make anymore through our "vanilla" offense.

 

"Well, we're still in the hunt because we're not OFFICIALLY out of it yet so yes, we would have liked to win the game but it just didn't work out that way and we are what we are, 6-8". NEWSFLASH DICK, YOU AND YOUR PREDICATABLE TEAM ARE OFFICIALLY OUT OF IT AFTER TODAY'S JET LOSS! "Well, I'm not able to comment on that right now because I will have to look at the tape. In any case, thats okay though because if anyone would have told me we would be 6-8 with two games left based on my career Won-Lost record, I would take it in a heartbeat. Hey, we have a chance to be .500 with two games left and thats what we're shooting for. It will mean we will have improved our team this year. We're gonna keepg fighting and working hard, they're a good group of guys. They can't seem to stay healthy for these last two years but they're a good group of guys and I really like them. I'm now worried about them and (or) losing the players because I know we will keep battling".

Dick, are you worried about job security due to the recent struggles of your team?

"NO, not at all, don't forget I just signed an extension after we started out 5-1 so for me to be up hear at the podium knowing our team has gone 1-6 since that extension, I'm feeling pretty good. Now if I didn't sign that extension, I might be telling you a different story. We just gotta get back to work, we'll watch the tape, fix our mistakes, and move on and take things from here. There is nothing we can do about what has happened up until this point of this season because it has happened already so we'll work and try to get better". THANK YOU SO MUCH DICK FOR SUCH AN UNINSPIRING PREDICATABLE PRESS CONFERENCE, NOT TO MENTION THE REPEATED ACTIONS WITH YOUR SKIN CONDITION!

 

I didn't read your whole post but when someone is using their hand in a facial area while answering a question they are creating a barrier because usually they are uncomfortable with their answers and possibly lying.

 

Dick is a con, a light sociopath I dare say. He has everyone around him convinced that he is still the man for the job when the entire fukking world around him knows that he should have been booted last season.

 

Complete manipulator.

[Da Big Man]

" Well obviously we would rather be 7-6 instead of 6-7, and I feel like we didn't execute. We need to be more aware of our assignments on defense. I wish I knew Brett Favre played for the Jets now, I would have prepared differently. We used all three first half timeouts in the first 2 minutes just to throw the Jets into a tailspin of wonder. Yes, I am a jerk."

[COACH85]

Too funny, that was a good one. I forgot to mention about the blown time outs that seem to happen each and every game for the entire Jauron era.

 

" Well obviously we would rather be 7-6 instead of 6-7, and I feel like we didn't execute. We need to be more aware of our assignments on defense. I wish I knew Brett Favre played for the Jets now, I would have prepared differently. We used all three first half timeouts in the first 2 minutes just to throw the Jets into a tailspin of wonder. Yes, I am a jerk."

[generaLee83]

" Well obviously we would rather be 7-6 instead of 6-7, and I feel like we didn't execute. We need to be more aware of our assignments on defense. I wish I knew Brett Favre played for the Jets now, I would have prepared differently. We used all three first half timeouts in the first 2 minutes just to throw the Jets into a tailspin of wonder. Yes, I am a jerk."

 

Perfect.

[freeagentqb]

We lost big time and that falls on my shoulders.... I've got to get better (as he snickers to himself, who cares I got three more years in the bank)

[generaLee83]

Actually if I were him I would walk to the microphone bare assed and instead of answering questions just fart a lot directly into the microphone.

 

He can do whatever he wants if the extension rumor is legitimate, Ralph will not fire him, he will not pay money for the absence of a coach.

[Da Big Man]

Actually if I were him I would walk to the microphone bare assed and instead of answering questions just fart a lot directly into the microphone.

 

He can do whatever he wants if the extension rumor is legitimate, Ralph will not fire him, he will not pay money for the absence of a coach.

True! Coming from that !@#$, I can't tell if he is talking or farting anyway.

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

I didn't read your whole post but when someone is using their hand in a facial area while answering a question they are creating a barrier because usually they are uncomfortable with their answers and possibly lying.

 

Dick is a con, a light sociopath I dare say. He has everyone around him convinced that he is still the man for the job when the entire fukking world around him knows that he should have been booted last season.

 

Complete manipulator.

 

[generaLee83]

 

Rolling the eyes?

 

If you disagree then tell me why?

[Da Big Man]

I didn't read your whole post but when someone is using their hand in a facial area while answering a question they are creating a barrier because usually they are uncomfortable with their answers and possibly lying.

 

Dick is a con, a light sociopath I dare say. He has everyone around him convinced that he is still the man for the job when the entire fukking world around him knows that he should have been booted last season.

 

Complete manipulator.

He should be asking people " You want fries with that?" not coaching a football team.

[SageAgainstTheMachine]

Rolling the eyes?

 

If you disagree then tell me why?

 

I don't disagree with you in essence, because he is a horrible HC. But to say that he's a con, a sociopath, and a manipulator...don't you think that's a little overboard? I mean, I don't think he hypnotized RW into giving him the new contract. RW was just a dumbass. And generally, the term sociopath implies severe mental conditions and usually criminal activity. I wasn't rolling my eyes because I'm a Jauron supporter, but I think your level of unmitigated hatred for the man is extreme.

[generaLee83]

I don't disagree with you in essence, because he is a horrible HC. But to say that he's a con, a sociopath, and a manipulator...don't you think that's a little overboard? I mean, I don't think he hypnotized RW into giving him the new contract. RW was just a dumbass. And generally, the term sociopath implies severe mental conditions and usually criminal activity. I wasn't rolling my eyes because I'm a Jauron supporter, but I think your level of unmitigated hatred for the man is extreme.

 

I'm on overboard mode for some reason today, probably because in 1 hour and 33 minutes I'm going to watch another pathetic performance from his team. Jauron is no criminal but he seems to be able to operate with the suave and verbal abilities of a good con man which in my experience is the small step prior to being a sociopath.

 

It just blows my mind that the fans, the media and people with minimal football knowledge (my wife) are able to identify the major problems with Jauron after watching the Bills play for only a few games while the entire team and organization are apparently sold on him as head coach. Maybe we are all completely wrong with our observations and interpretations of such but the only way I can justify him still being employed by the Buffalo Bills is that he has somehow duped them.

 

He always gives the right answers at press conferences, his players love him and apparently even Ralph after last weeks "talent" remarks still sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

[COACH85]

How many seconds into the press conference before Jauron starts with the skin condition thing?

 

 

 

I'm on overboard mode for some reason today, probably because in 1 hour and 33 minutes I'm going to watch another pathetic performance from his team. Jauron is no criminal but he seems to be able to operate with the suave and verbal abilities of a good con man which in my experience is the small step prior to being a sociopath.

 

It just blows my mind that the fans, the media and people with minimal football knowledge (my wife) are able to identify the major problems with Jauron after watching the Bills play for only a few games while the entire team and organization are apparently sold on him as head coach. Maybe we are all completely wrong with our observations and interpretations of such but the only way I can justify him still being employed by the Buffalo Bills is that he has somehow duped them.

 

He always gives the right answers at press conferences, his players love him and apparently even Ralph after last weeks "talent" remarks still sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Nanker]

First, I want to say "Thank you", to Mr. Wilson for extending my contract through 2011.

[BuffaloBill]

I don't disagree with you in essence, because he is a horrible HC. But to say that he's a con, a sociopath, and a manipulator...don't you think that's a little overboard? I mean, I don't think he hypnotized RW into giving him the new contract. RW was just a dumbass. And generally, the term sociopath implies severe mental conditions and usually criminal activity. I wasn't rolling my eyes because I'm a Jauron supporter, but I think your level of unmitigated hatred for the man is extreme.

 

 

Thanks .... we all need to remember that he is likely going to be our coach for the next season if not at least two. Remember Ralph blamed the fins loss on lack of talent not poor coaching. RW is in a box now that the extension is signed. The only way DJ is not the coach here next year is if he resigns. Not likely to happen.

[COACH85]

Here comes the scratch/rub/itch by Jauron. I can't wait to hear the same exact lines. Did anybody really expect Losman to bring his troops down the field on those last 3 possessions to win the game? I was trying to figure out how he was going to screw things up and (or) turn the ball over. His defense kept trying to save his sorry punk ass but he still couldn't accept the gifts given to him. What a sorry piece of crap. I would personally like to pack his bags and kick him in the ass on the way out the door. Thanks for nothing J.P. you worthless piece of %^&*#@

 

Thanks .... we all need to remember that he is likely going to be our coach for the next season if not at least two. Remember Ralph blamed the fins loss on lack of talent not poor coaching. RW is in a box now that the extension is signed. The only way DJ is not the coach here next year is if he resigns. Not likely to happen.

[billnutinphoenix]

First, I want to say "Thank you", to Mr. Wilson for extending my contract through 2011.

 

 

let's hope that they can pay him to do what Chuck Lester does...how hard could he screw that up?