Kelso_Helmet Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBill Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 You forgot to add that at halftime the Bills will be hawking season tickets while telling everyone that they will have a high powered offense next year. They will add that the excitment of having a high pick on draft day will lead to more fans jumping on the bandwagon so best to get your tix now. Jauron will get so excited that he will tip his hand and tell everyone that the Bills are going to select another DB and wide receiver in that order in the first two rounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chalkie Gerzowski Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 fights in the parking lot before the game...fights in the stands during the game...fights in the parking lot after the game... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Guy Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 I was laughing out loud numerous times reading this. My wife asked what was so funny. Had to tell her she wouldn't understand. Great stuff!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubes Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. :blink: Brilliant. Just brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guesswhosback Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 My prediction...I won't be watching it! You can make book on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guesswhosback Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 This really is some priceless shyt here! I love it and it could happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smuvtalker Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 those were effing priceless!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justice Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 Your post is WAY off base. There's no way in hell Buffalo would force that many third and longs. They would have to be able to sack the QB for that to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gisele Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Awesome post! I need a beer now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casmolopitis Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 Just before start of game, Jauron is caught off-guard by Canadian anthem, burns first time-out. Bills lose coinflip...following advice of coaching staff, Jauron challenges "heads" call, loses, and burns second time-out. Jauron peeved that Dolphins elect to receive, as he would have opted for kicking the ball had the Bills won the coin toss. 15:00 Dolphins commence long drive converting multiple 3rd downs... 13:35 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 22, defensive holding on McLovin 11:46 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 16 following sack by Kelsay...ball is jarred loose, fumble picked up by Ronnie Brown as Bills' Defense celebrates and Brown advances it for a first down 9:22 Dolphins convert on 3rd and 27, after Ted Ginn lines up in an illegal formation, runs out of bounds, runs back into field of play, pushes off on three different members of the Bills' secondary, takes off his helmet, and catches a pass on two hops with one foot out of bounds. Jauron starts blinking wildly (the signal to his staff that he wants to challenge the call), but the Dolphins get a play off before anyone can get the challenge flag out of his pocket. Dolphins drive to end zone, take 7-0 lead. Commercial break - thousands of Bills fans prepare to throw bottles of Labatt at TV screen, yet are strangely soothed by a gyrating Hawaiian girl in a grass skirt gesticulating how she needs a Five Dollar Footlong. Sadly, this brief respite from anger is ended by a rich b*tch getting a Lexus for Christmas and a argument among a family of hamburgers regarding the appropriateness of the young male hamburger selling himself for a dollar. 4:41 Bills take kick-off, McLovin returns it to midfield. 4:30 JP hands off to Beast Mode, who runs it down to the one-yard line 3:59 Jauron and Turk burn last time out of the half, trying to figure out the right play for first and goal from the 1 yard line. They settle on a wildcat formation direct snap to Derek Fine, who loses a yard on the play. 3:20 2nd and goal from the 2, Bills line up in empty backfield shotgun formation. JP holds ball in pocket, gets hit for fumble, recovered by Dockery. 3:17 First post on TBD calling for Hamdan 2:58 3rd and goal from the 7. QB sneak, loss of one. 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck 2:09 First post on TBD calling for Lindell to be released Following some more commercial breaks where zero percent financing is offered for everything under the sun and Beyonce begs us all to let her "upgrade our packages" (insert pun here), the game resumes. Dolphins add two field goals and take 13-0 lead into the locker room. Sideline reporter approaches Jauron on way to locker room. Jauron instinctively starts with the, "well, obviously, we'd like to be 13-0 instead of 6-7" speech. Jauron is informed that it's only halftime. Jauron challenges and burns first time out of 2nd half, insisting that the game is over. Final Fins 20 Bills 3 Hilarous! Dude you are funny, keep it up! Fins 56 Bills 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 2:12 4th and goal from the 8. Bills line up for field goal. Kick by Lindell deflects off of drunk Canadian falling from upper deck Mostly unrealistic until this part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeastMode54 Posted December 2, 2008 Share Posted December 2, 2008 This post reminded me how ridiculous BOTH the holding call and pass interference calls where on McKelvin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelso_Helmet Posted December 2, 2008 Author Share Posted December 2, 2008 I was laughing out loud numerous times reading this. My wife asked what was so funny. Had to tell her she wouldn't understand. Great stuff!!! My wife was also asking me what I was doing as I was muttering to myself down in the basement and venting all this in my post...I was also challenged to explain it without coming across like a raving lunatic. I think I failed in that regard. This has truly been a bizarre season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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