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Posted

Every Halloween allows me to break out all my favorite movies. Dracula (with Bela Lugosi) Frankenstein and of course my all time favorite Young Frankenstein. My wife and I throw one liners back and forth for days after watching it. But all his movies are loaded with them.

 

Blazing Saddles:

 

Taggart: The LePetomane Thru-Way? Now what'll that **** think of next? Does anybody have a dime? Somebody has to go back and get a shiitload of dimes.

 

Spaceballs;

 

Dark Helmet: Keep firing, azzholes!

 

History of the World Part I:

 

Bearnaise: I don't like your cuffs!... I don't like your cuffs! I don't like your cuffs! A man's cuffs should be even with the tip of his 'pee-pee'. Yours are all the way down to your balls!

Count de Monet: At least I have them!

Bearnaise: B word!

 

Young Frankenstein:

 

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.

Igor: [imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban.

 

And then of course there's Get Smart:

 

Chief: Did you get all that Max?

Max: Not all of it

Chief: What part did you miss?

Max: The part right after, "now listen carefully."

Posted

Difficult to pick just one. Lot of the racist stuff is funnier now with rampant PC than it probably was then.

 

Gonna have to go with:

 

"Baby, I am NOT from Havanna!"

 

I don't even know what that means, but the delivery was perfect.

Posted
Difficult to pick just one. Lot of the racist stuff is funnier now with rampant PC than it probably was then.

 

Gonna have to go with:

 

"Baby, I am NOT from Havanna!"

 

I don't even know what that means, but the delivery was perfect.

 

Well you know those Cubans and their Schnitzengrubbens.

Posted
Well you know those Cubans and their Schnitzengrubbens.

 

Clevon Little: "Where are the white women at?" (said trying to lure the KKK guys behind the rocks)

Posted
SILENT MOVIE

 

"No" - famed mime Marcel Marceau

IIRC the only spoken line in the whole movie :thumbsup:

 

Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! *Gangbang*! From history of the world pt 1

 

 

 

 

and one of his personal quotes i came across

 

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bull sh--.”

Posted

I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember it precisely, but the scene in Young Frankenstein with Inspector Kemp is one of my favorites, where his accent is so thick that even the locals can't understand him.

 

Kemp: "He vill rue tha day he deshided to vollow in his grandvodders vootschteps!"

 

Villagers: "What?"

 

Kemp: "He vill rue tha day he deshided to vollow in his grandvodders vootschteps! Vootschteps! Vootschteps! VOOTSCHTEPS!!!"

 

Villagers: "Ohhhhhh."

 

And of course, the entire "Put the candle back" scene was outstanding.

Posted
SILENT MOVIE

 

"No" - famed mime Marcel Marceau

 

One of the funniest lines ever. ;) The only word in the film.

 

History of the World Part 1:

 

Jew #1: I was sittin' flickin' chickens / and going through the pickins' / When suddenly these goys break down my walls / I did not even know them / and they grab me by the scrotum / And stated playing ping-pong with my balls / Oy the agony / Ooh the shame / To make your privates public for a game!

 

Jew #2: I was sitting in a temple, I was minding my own business, I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass, Then these papist persons plunge in, And they throw me in the dungeon, And they shove a red hot poker up my ass, Is that considerate? Is that polite? And not a tube of preparation H in sight!

 

King Louis XVI: You said it! They stink on ice!

 

Blazing Saddles:

 

Sorry this is a whole scene but it's one of the funniest in his movies. ;)

 

[the Johnsons load their guns and point them at Bart. Bart then points his own pistol at his head]

Bart: [speaking in a low voice] Hold it! Next man makes a move, the :thumbsup: gets it!

Olson Johnson: Hold it, men. He's not bluffing.

Dr. Sam Johnson: Listen to him, men, he's just crazy enough to do it!

Bart: [low voice] Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this :wallbash: head all over this town!

Bart: [now speaking in a higher voice] Oh, lo'dy, lo'd, he's desp'it! Do what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy...

[the Johnsons drop their guns. Bart jams the gun into his neck and drags himself through the crowd and towards the station]

Harriett Van Johnson: Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?

Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet, that's a sure way to get him killed!

Bart: [higher voice] Oooh! He'p me, he'p me! Somebody he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me!

Bart: [lower voice] Shut up!

[Bart places his hand over his own mouth, drags himself through the door into his office]

Bart: Ooh, baby, you are so talented! And they are so DUMB!

 

Bart: Candygram for Mr. Mongo, candygram for Mr. Mongo.

 

 

High Anxiety:

 

Nurse Diesel: Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup

Posted

From Spaceballs, after they get the combination for the Air Shield (and after Dark Helmet says, "What kind of a stupid combination is that? It's what an idiot would have on his luggage!")

 

President Skroob: Great. Now we can take every last breath of fresh air from planet Druidia. What's the combination?

Dark Helmet: 1 2 3 4 5.

President Skroob: 1 2 3 4 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage! Prepare Spaceball 1 for immediate departure!

Dark Helmet: Yes, sir!

President Skroob: And change the combination on my luggage!

Posted

"Mongo only pawn... in game of life."

 

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

 

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?

Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.

Applicant: I like rape.

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