Like A Mofo Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 NEWMAN: You wanna know what happened to Kramer? I'll tell you what happened to Kramer. He was ticked off. About the keys. Yeah, that's right - about the keys. Thought he got a bad rap. JERRY: Bad rap? NEWMAN: Yeah. From you. JERRY: Me? NEWMAN: You heard me. So he packed it up and split for the coast. La-La Land. L.A. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Like A Mofo Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Perhaps my favorite scene of almost any Seinfeld: (Long but classic!) GEORGE: Gee, Kramer, I uh...I don't know what to say. KRAMER: Say yes! Yes, George. Yes! GEORGE: Should I give you my keys, is that the transaction, trading keys...? Because Elaine has my keys. KRAMER: Well, you can get 'em back. GEORGE: I suppose I could. KRAMER: Because you see, George, having the keys to Jerry's apartment? That kept me in a fantasy world. Every time I went over to his house, it was like I was on vacation. Better food, better view, better TV. And cleaner? Oh - much cleaner. That became my reality. I ignored the squalor in my own life because I'm looking at life, you see, through Jerry's eyes. I was living in twilight, George. Living in the shadows. Living in the darkness...like you. GEORGE: Me? KRAMER: Oh, yeah. I can barely see you, George. GEORGE: Alright, stop it Kramer, you're freakin' me out. <The waitress comes over.> WAITRESS: Hi, are you ready to order? <George tries to order, but Kramer interrupts.> KRAMER (moves over and sits next to George): Do you ever yearn? GEORGE: Yearn? Do I yearn? KRAMER: I yearn. GEORGE: You yearn. KRAMER: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I...I sit...and yearn. Have you yearned? GEORGE: Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving...but I haven't yearned. KRAMER (in disgust): Look at you. GEORGE: Aw, Kramer, don't start... KRAMER (moving back to the othe side of the booth): You're wasting your life. GEORGE: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I'm living my life! KRAMER: O.K., like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got money? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have a woman? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any prospects? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got anything on the horizon? GEORGE: Uh...no. KRAMER: Do you have any action at all? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning? GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News! KRAMER: George, it's time for us to grow up - and be men. Not little boys. GEORGE: Why? KRAMER: I'm goin' to California. You know, I got the bug. GEORGE: Yeah, I think I got a touch of something, too. KRAMER: No, the acting bug. Ever since I was in that Woody Allen movie. GEORGE: "These pretzels are making me thirsty"? That was one line! You got fired! KRAMER: I know, I know, but man! I never felt so alive! Now, are you coming with me? GEORGE: Uh, no, I'm not. KRAMER: Alright, suit yourself. But let's keep this between us - we're key brothers now. <Gets up to leave.> GEORGE: You're not really gonna go to California, are you? KRAMER (points to his head): Up here, I'm already gone. <Kramer exits.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD in CA Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News! I do love that line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Quint Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Kramer: You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would've said you're crazy... Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 "it was a glamour magazine" "I will never sleep in that bed again" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndZoneCrew Posted December 12, 2008 Author Share Posted December 12, 2008 Ron: I'll give you five bucks. Kramer: Five bucks??? Newman: Well, you know how much those records are worth!? Ron: Yeah, I do... Fi' dollars. Newman: Those records are worth more than five dollars! Kramer: [in Newman's ear] He's gyppin' us... Newman: You're gyppin' us! Ron: Well, whattya got here, y'know, you got "Don Ho: Live At Honolulu", you got "Jerry Vale Sings Italian Love Songs" you got Sergio Mendes, now come on... Kramer: Wait, wait, wait... Sergio Mendes has a cult following. Newman: They follow him like a cult. Kramer: He can't even walk down the street in South America... Ron: Look, that's his problem, alright? Now you don't like it, too bad. Kramer: [in Newman's ear] I don't like it... Newman: I don't like it. Ron: Well, then get the Hell out of my store, alright? You bring me something decent, I'll give you some money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheeseburger_in_paradise Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 And by the way...they're real, and they're spectacular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacka Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 On last night: George: "I think things were going ok. We were having a nice conversation." Jerry: "Uh huh." George: "I mentioned how I liked horse manure." Jerry: "You did?" George: "Yeah." Jerry: "You said you liked horse manure." George: Yeah. About how when you break it down, it's really a very positive thing. You know, you have a "nure," with a "ma" in front of it. Ma-nure. It's not bad." Jerry: "And it was around this point that she mentioned the boyfriend?" George: "Yeah.... Oh, you think because of what I said about the manure? I was just saying how it takes a negative thing, and puts it on a positive spin on it." Jerry: "I'm just saying there's a chance she may not have been enamored with your thoughts and feelings on manure." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 On last night: George: "I think things were going ok. We were having a nice conversation." Jerry: "Uh huh." George: "I mentioned how I liked horse manure." Jerry: "You did?" George: "Yeah." Jerry: "You said you liked horse manure." George: Yeah. About how when you break it down, it's really a very positive thing. You know, you have a "nure," with a "ma" in front of it. Ma-nure. It's not bad." Jerry: "And it was around this point that she mentioned the boyfriend?" George: "Yeah.... Oh, you think because of what I said about the manure? I was just saying how it takes a negative thing, and puts it on a positive spin on it." Jerry: "I'm just saying there's a chance she may not have been enamored with your thoughts and feelings on manure." That is a great line. Some from "The Pie" "It'll be a funky adventure." - Kramer, inviting Elaine to scratch his back, in "The Pie" "Poppie's a little sloppy." - Jerry, after Poppie is taken away by health inspectors, in "The Pie" "That's my ass in your window!" - Elaine, seeing the mannequin posed in an embarrassing position, in "The Pie" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Big Man Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Seinfeld, 4! " Cartwright" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tcali Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Perhaps my favorite scene of almost any Seinfeld: (Long but classic!) GEORGE: Gee, Kramer, I uh...I don't know what to say. KRAMER: Say yes! Yes, George. Yes! GEORGE: Should I give you my keys, is that the transaction, trading keys...? Because Elaine has my keys. KRAMER: Well, you can get 'em back. GEORGE: I suppose I could. KRAMER: Because you see, George, having the keys to Jerry's apartment? That kept me in a fantasy world. Every time I went over to his house, it was like I was on vacation. Better food, better view, better TV. And cleaner? Oh - much cleaner. That became my reality. I ignored the squalor in my own life because I'm looking at life, you see, through Jerry's eyes. I was living in twilight, George. Living in the shadows. Living in the darkness...like you. GEORGE: Me? KRAMER: Oh, yeah. I can barely see you, George. GEORGE: Alright, stop it Kramer, you're freakin' me out. <The waitress comes over.> WAITRESS: Hi, are you ready to order? <George tries to order, but Kramer interrupts.> KRAMER (moves over and sits next to George): Do you ever yearn? GEORGE: Yearn? Do I yearn? KRAMER: I yearn. GEORGE: You yearn. KRAMER: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I...I sit...and yearn. Have you yearned? GEORGE: Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving...but I haven't yearned. KRAMER (in disgust): Look at you. GEORGE: Aw, Kramer, don't start... KRAMER (moving back to the othe side of the booth): You're wasting your life. GEORGE: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I'm living my life! KRAMER: O.K., like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got money? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have a woman? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any prospects? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got anything on the horizon? GEORGE: Uh...no. KRAMER: Do you have any action at all? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning? GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News! KRAMER: George, it's time for us to grow up - and be men. Not little boys. GEORGE: Why? KRAMER: I'm goin' to California. You know, I got the bug. GEORGE: Yeah, I think I got a touch of something, too. KRAMER: No, the acting bug. Ever since I was in that Woody Allen movie. GEORGE: "These pretzels are making me thirsty"? That was one line! You got fired! KRAMER: I know, I know, but man! I never felt so alive! Now, are you coming with me? GEORGE: Uh, no, I'm not. KRAMER: Alright, suit yourself. But let's keep this between us - we're key brothers now. <Gets up to leave.> GEORGE: You're not really gonna go to California, are you? KRAMER (points to his head): Up here, I'm already gone. <Kramer exits.> thumbs up--great scene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Big Man Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 In the whole world there are maybe 3 emergencies right now, what makes you think this call is one of those? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Big Man Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 George is getting upset! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steely Dan Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 "How did Elaine know you paid for the big salad?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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