Jump to content

Favorite Seinfeld Line(s)


EndZoneCrew

Recommended Posts

Kramer: "Jerry, look how tense you are. You need to take a soak."

 

Jerry: "I'm not taking a soak in that human bacteria vat you got goin' there."

 

Kramer: "Come on, I'm telling you, it's great. I opened up all the windows. The air is cold, the tub is boiling hot. It's like Sweden, man. Sweden!"

- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Hot Tub"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 133
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Elaine: "Being a woman, I only really have access to the equipment, what, 30-45 minutes a week, and that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who own this equipment and have access to it 24 hours a day their entire lives?"

 

- Elaine, in "The Beard"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“I’ve been reviewing Darren’s internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?”

 

“Well, it all sounds pretty glamourous, but it’s business as usual at Kramerica.”

 

“As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.”

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kramer: Coming up on the right, if you glance up you can just make out my bedroom window. It's the one that's covered in chicken wire.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“I’ve been reviewing Darren’s internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?”

 

“Well, it all sounds pretty glamourous, but it’s business as usual at Kramerica.”

 

“As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.”

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Kramer: Coming up on the right, if you glance up you can just make out my bedroom window. It's the one that's covered in chicken wire.

 

 

Awesome episode. Hellooooo!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JERRY: Hey Joe! HOW YOU DOING?

 

DEVOLA: You're under no obligation to shake my hand.

 

JERRY: Oh, no, Just a custom. Uh, THAT'S MY FRIEND GEORGE. YOU LOOK GOOD.

 

DEVOLA: Why shouldn't I look good?

 

JERRY: Oh, no reason. You're into karate right?

 

DEVOLA: You want to hit me?

 

 

-Devola was the best....too bad he was only in season 4

Link to comment
Share on other sites

JERRY: Hey Joe! HOW YOU DOING?

 

DEVOLA: You're under no obligation to shake my hand.

 

JERRY: Oh, no, Just a custom. Uh, THAT'S MY FRIEND GEORGE. YOU LOOK GOOD.

 

DEVOLA: Why shouldn't I look good?

 

JERRY: Oh, no reason. You're into karate right?

 

DEVOLA: You want to hit me?

 

 

-Devola was the best....too bad he was only in season 4

 

Elaine: "You left your door open."

Davola: "I know. I like to encourage intruders."

- Elaine and Joe Davola, in "The Opera"

 

Davola: "Jerry, Joe Davola. I have a hair on my tongue. Can't get it off. You know how much I hate that? Of course you do. You put it there. I know what you said about me, Seinfeld. I know you badmouthed me to the execs at NBC. Put the kibosh on my deal. Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you. You know I've kiboshed before. And I will kibosh again."

- Crazy Joe Davola, leaving a message on Jerry's answering machine, in "The Opera"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Elaine: "You left your door open."

Davola: "I know. I like to encourage intruders."

- Elaine and Joe Davola, in "The Opera"

 

Davola: "Jerry, Joe Davola. I have a hair on my tongue. Can't get it off. You know how much I hate that? Of course you do. You put it there. I know what you said about me, Seinfeld. I know you badmouthed me to the execs at NBC. Put the kibosh on my deal. Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you. You know I've kiboshed before. And I will kibosh again."

- Crazy Joe Davola, leaving a message on Jerry's answering machine, in "The Opera"

 

Davola

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Statue episode:

Rava: It's just like Ray said, you and Jerry are jealous of our love , you're trying to destroy us!

Elaine: Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere.

 

Earlier in that same episode Rava says" last night me and Ray made love on the floor like animals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Frank: Let me see here, you got a chicken , a hen and rooster. The rooster goes with the hen, so whose having sex with the chicken. Somethings missing.

Susans mom: Somethings missing allright.

Susans dad: Their all chickens, the rooster has sex with all of them!

Frank: Thats perverse! <_<

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Statue episode:

Rava: It's just like Ray said, you and Jerry are jealous of our love , you're trying to destroy us!

Elaine: Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere.

 

Earlier in that same episode Rava says" last night me and Ray made love on the floor like animals.

 

That was on the other day. <_<

 

 

Another line from The Deal

 

"You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!"

 

- George, to Jerry, in "The Deal"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you see the way she was looking at me?

 

She's a Nazi George, A NAZI!

 

 

 

That accent sounds more Scottish than Irish

 

We were right on the border.

 

Do you take your shirt off when you "roll a deuce"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

George: "If anything happens here can I count on you?"

Jerry: "What?"

George: "If we decide to go at it."

Jerry:"Yeah, I want to get into a rumble."

 

- George, still waiting for the phone, and Jerry, in "The Chinese Restaurant"

 

Elaine: "Okay, I don't want to go over there and do it and then come back here and find out there was some little loophole, like I didn't put mustard on it."

Jerry: "No, no tricks."

Elaine: "Should I do it George?"

George: "For fifty bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow!"

Elaine: "Alright, alright. Here, hold this. I'm doin' it."

 

- Elaine, Jerry and George, in "The Chinese Restaurant"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

George: "If anything happens here can I count on you?"

Jerry: "What?"

George: "If we decide to go at it."

Jerry:"Yeah, I want to get into a rumble."

 

- George, still waiting for the phone, and Jerry, in "The Chinese Restaurant"

 

George is getting upset!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...