Favorite Seinfeld Line(s)

[Steely Dan]

lol.......great scene

 

[2020 Our Year For Sure]

I don't know, I loved Seinfeld don't get me wrong, but the lines/scenes aren't really funny on their own. Scenes were great because of the delivery of the actors, the context of the crazy situations the characters were in, and the conext of the viewer's perceptions of the characters.

 

If I had never seen the show and didn't know anything about it, most of these lines wouldn't get much of a reaction. They need context.

[EndZoneCrew]

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Jerry: Is that your "chicken" making all that noise?

Cosmo Kramer: Oh, Little Jerry loves the morning.

Jerry: Who?

Cosmo Kramer: Little Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah I named my chicken after you.

Jerry: Thanks, that's very sweet, but that is not a chicken.

Cosmo Kramer: Of course it is. I picked it out myself.

Jerry: Well, you picked out a rooster.

Cosmo Kramer: Well, that would explain Little Jerry's poor egg production.

*********************************************

 

haha...that is a classic!

[BillsFanNC]

I like to stop at the duty free shop!

[HopsGuy]

George: "Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

[BillsFanNC]

George: "Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

 

That whole scene is great..

 

GEORGE: Hey, what happened with Sandy. I forgot all about it.

 

Did you call her?

 

JERRY: Yeah, I did. In fact I went over there.

 

GEORGE: So what happened? She throw you out? Eh?

 

JERRY: No actually, she took it pretty well.

 

GEORGE: So what happened?

 

JERRY: She's into it.

 

GEORGE: Into what?

 

JERRY: The manage. And not only that. She just called me and said

 

she talked to the roommate and the roomate's into the manage too.

 

GEORGE: That's unbelievable.

 

JERRY: Oh, it's a scene man.

 

GEORGE: Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that

 

you know me and have access to my dementia?

 

JERRY: What are you talking about? I'm not goin' to do it.

 

GEORGE: You're not goin to do it? What do you mean, You're not goin

 

to do it?

 

JERRY: I can't. I'm not an orgy guy.

 

GEORGE: Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident.

 

JERRY: Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes

 

everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to

 

grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new

 

bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.

 

I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.

 

... Naw, I'm not ready for it.

 

GEORGE: If only something like that could happen to me.

 

JERRY: Oh, shut up you couldn't do it either.

 

GEORGE: I know.

[EndZoneCrew]

I like to stop at the duty free shop!

 

George: The Duty Free Shop? Duty Free is the biggest sucker deal in retail.

Do you know how much duty is?

Kramer: Duty.

George: Yeah, "duty". Do you know how much duty is?

Kramer: No, I dunno how much duty is.

George: Duty is *nothing*. It's like sales tax...

[The Dean]

George: The Duty Free Shop? Duty Free is the biggest sucker deal in retail.

Do you know how much duty is?

Kramer: Duty.

George: Yeah, "duty". Do you know how much duty is?

Kramer: No, I dunno how much duty is.

George: Duty is *nothing*. It's like sales tax...

 

 

I like to stop at the Duty Free Shop!

[HopsGuy]

Dean Jones: I've been reviewing Darren's internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?

Kramer: Well, it all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica Industries.

Dean Jones: Far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.

[Andrew in CA]

Dean Jones: I've been reviewing Darren's internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?

Kramer: Well, it all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica Industries.

Dean Jones: Far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.

:lol: I forgot about that one!

[KD in CA]

[At Yankees batting practice]

George Costanza: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant.

[Hits a home run]

George Costanza: It's not complicated.

Derek Jeter: Now, who are you again?

George Costanza: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.

Bernie Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?

George Costanza: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?

Derek Jeter: We won the World Series.

George Costanza: In six games.

 

 

That was a great episode.

 

Jerry: Oh my God. You had sex. You had sex with Louise!

George: No, the Portuguese waitress.

Jerry: The Portuguese waitress?

George: I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.

[Bullpen]

Elaine: "Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake, Fake..."

 

another Elaine: "Maybe the dingo ate your baby." (with exagerated aussie accent)

 

Not sure if this is posted or not:

 

[The Dean]

For years I could communicate about any situation, to most of my friends, with Flintstones, and or , Bugs Bunny references. As I grew older, Seinfeld references took over.

[EndZoneCrew]

As I grew older, Seinfeld references took over.

 

"Not that there is anything wrong with that"

[Steely Dan]

Dean Jones: I've been reviewing Darren's internship journal. Doing laundry, mending chicken wire, high tea with a Mr. Newman?

Kramer: Well, it all sounds pretty glamorous, but it's business as usual at Kramerica Industries.

Dean Jones: Far as I can tell, your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.

 

 

For years I could communicate about any situation, to most of my friends, with Flintstones, and or , Bugs Bunny references. As I grew older, Seinfeld references took over.

 

You really expect us to believe you can communicate?

 

 

These are from an internet site that has quotes:

 

"I can do six weeks standing on my head. I'm a sexual camel."

- George, who will have to abstain from sex, in "The Abstinence

 

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"Too bad you couldn't do *that* for a living... You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you. You could be a big star!"

- George's mother, chastising her son for treating his body like "an amusement park," in "The Contest"

 

"You'll be out before we get the check!"

- Jerry, to Kramer, who wants in on "The Contest"

 

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"Sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool."

- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Implant"

 

"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular."

- Sidra, to Jerry, in "The Implant"

 

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Jerry: "You know, revulsion has now become a valid form of attraction."

Elaine: "Well, then you're driving me wild"

 

- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Little Kicks"

 

"It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music."

- George, on Elaine's dancing style, in "The Little Kicks"

 

"He wrote the check and I cashed it."

- Elaine, after her fight with Frank, in "The Little Kicks"

 

**************************************************

 

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. *That's* a fantasy camp!"

- George, in "The Visa"

[Steely Dan]

Frank: "Serenity now! Serenity now!"

George: "What is that?"

Frank: "The doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say 'serenity now!'"

George: "Are you supposed to yell it?"

Frank: "The man on the tape wasn't specific."

 

- Frank and George, in "The Serenity Now"

 

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This one is from my memory.

 

Elaine: He took it out.

Jerry: Are you sure?!

Elaine: Oh quite

[Steely Dan]

I found the whole scene:

 

JERRY: Come on. How was your date?

 

ELAINE: Oh, the date. The date.

 

JERRY: Ya how was it?

 

ELAINE: Interesting.

JERRY: Really.

 

ELAINE: Oh ya.

 

JERRY: Why what happened?

 

ELAINE: Let's see, (thinking) how shall I put this.

 

JERRY: Just put it.

 

ELAINE: He took it out.

 

JERRY: (confused) He what?

 

ELAINE: He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.

 

JERRY: He took what out?

 

ELAINE: It.

 

JERRY: He took It, Out?

 

ELAINE: Yessiree Bob.

 

JERRY: He couldn't.

 

ELAINE: He did.

 

JERRY: (motions of making out) Well you were involved in some sort of amorous...

 

ELAINE: Noooo.

 

JERRY: You mean he just

 

ELAINE: Yes.

 

JERRY: Are you sure?

 

ELAINE: Oh quite.

 

JERRY: There was no mistaking it?

 

ELAINE: (looks straight into his eyes) Jerry.

JERRY: So you were talking, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") you're having pleasant conversation, (Elaine makes an agreement sound "mmm") then all of sudden...

 

ELAINE: Yea.

 

JERRY: It.

 

ELAINE: It.

 

JERRY: Out.

 

ELAINE: Out.

 

JERRY: Well I, I can't believe this. I know Phil, he, he's a good friend of mine. We play softball together. How could this be?

ELAINE: Oh it be. (sarcastically) You got any other friends you want to set me up with?

(Kramer enters)

 

KRAMER: Hey. (to Elaine) Hey how was your date with Phil Titola?

ELAINE: (to Kramer) He took it out.

 

(Shocked, Kramer acts like he just got a cold shiver down his back)

 

KRAMER: Maybe uh, it needed some air. You know sometimes they need air, they can't breathe in there. It's in human.

(Scene Ends)

[Indy Dave]

A few more...

 

George (talking to Susan's stone at her burial site): And then, right after the All-Star break, we swept the Orioles. Four games. In Baltimore. So um...yeah.

 

Newman (holding court with his fellow post office employees at the non-fat yogurt shop): Well I wouldn't hear of it. I said, "Nice try granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line. (Everyone erupts in laughter.) Hey, how about another round of strawberry for me and my friends!

 

Kramer: Oh you're just as pretty as those other women. You just need a nose job.

 

Jerry: I don't think you do. I think you know how to take a reservation. You just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that really is the important part of the whole reservation process. The holding. Anyone can just take them.

 

Elaine: You might want to think about maybe moving your arms a little when you walk. You know, sort of swing them so you're not lurching around like a caveman.

[The Dean]

**************************************************

This one is from my memory.

 

Elaine: He took it out.

Jerry: Are you sure?!

Elaine: Oh quite

 

 

I think my favorite part of that episode is, Elaine has to say it a couple of times to Jerry before he gets what she is talking about. But, as soon as she say's "He took it out" to Kramer, he immediately knows and says "Wooah" or something to that effect.

[Tcali]

hehe......