The Feel Good Sleeper

[H2o]

THE FEEL-GOOD SLEEPER

 

by Bill Simmons (TSG Power Poll)

 

 

7. Buffalo Bills

On a truly enjoyable episode of "Inside the NFL" this week, Bill Cowher, Phil Simms and Cris Collinsworth -- three guys I respect -- all listed the Bills in their top fives and James Brown didn't even do his trademark "Ack ... ack ... ack ... ack" laugh afterward. Really? Top five? That seems high after Roscoe Parrish went out with a finger, undeniably affecting one of Buffalo's biggest strengths (special teams) for the next four to six weeks. Just look at what happened with Tampa-Chicago last week: a healthy Devin Hester springs one big return and swings that game, right? On the other hand, Buffalo's schedule remains easier than Kirsten Dunst . We'll stick the Bills here to be safe.

 

 

 

Maybe Trent Edwards will one day surpass Vincent Gallo as a great Buffalo celebrity.

 

Meanwhile, Becky from Boston writes, "Just curious -- when the SuperSonics were being ripped from Seattle, you dedicated several columns to the topic. Now that the same thing is happening to the Bills, your reaction is the complete opposite. Not only are you NOT outraged, you seem to derive pleasure from rubbing salt in my wounds. You don't mention the Bills without mentioning the possible move to Toronto and are tainting an otherwise exciting season for lifelong Bills fans like myself who have been waiting for the glory years of the early '90s to return. What do you have against the good people of Buffalo? Haven't we suffered enough?"

 

All good points. My initial response is that when Vincent Gallo is your city's signature celebrity, maybe you shouldn't have an NFL team. But I'm willing to be talked into it. From everything I've read, the Bills are struggling to survive financially and lack the funds to build a better stadium, only they don't have the balls to leave Buffalo, only they don't want another NFL team to move to Toronto -- the best territory that isn't an NFL city yet -- so they're basically "marking" that Toronto territory like a dog by playing eight games there over the next three years. Either it was a shrewd business move (they made $78 million, more than their 2006 and 2007 operating income combined), a passive-aggressive play that deserves to be mocked, or both. But it's nothing like the 1979 NBA champs getting hijacked from Seattle for no good reason. Seattle could support an NBA team; it's unclear if Buffalo can support the Bills.

 

(Note: If I'm wrong, then tell me why. And try to do it without using swear words or comparing me to various orifices. Thank you.)