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Posted
"Sarah Palin has plenty of foreign policy experience because Alaska is right next to Russia" -- Fox News.

 

PTR

 

C'mon, C'mon not political.

 

 

I heard a redneck woman on one of the Jerry Springer-type shows refer to her baby's "unbiblical cord."

 

:thumbsup:

 

Fortunately I had a biblical cord so God loves me. Too bad for her kid. :beer:

Posted

We were in college genetics and the professor had a diagram of the Romanov family tree up. You probably all have had this lesson in inherited hemophilia, which the youngest son had. Anyways, the chart had the birthday and date of death on it for each family member, and this really dumb girl raises her hand and asks,

 

"How come they all died the same day?" :beer:

 

Also, as many of you know, when the mearest mention of the "s" word is uttered in the South, these people freak out and for some unknown reason go and buy up milk and bread. So I am buying gas at this little country store in this little sh---splat town in NC called Wilson, and the guy in front of me in line says to his friend, NO KIDDING:

 

"I got this ice stuff figured out Fred, you got to start out slow and build your speed up"...

Posted

During a mock debate in 7th grade one of the topics was "Cloning."

 

From the anti-cloning debate team a girl who will remain nameless posed the following question:

 

"So, I guess I'm a bit confused. Would the scientists have to clone the cloning machine?"

Posted

My wife and I went shopping one Saturday morning and before we left we gave instructions to our pre-teenage son to clean the dishes. There was one pan that was really dirty from dinner the night before and I told my son that he was going to have to use elboe grease on that one to get it clean. Well it wasn't more than 30 minutes later that we received a phone call from our son asking where he can find the elboe grease!!!

Posted

Elbow grease.. We had a new janitor who was cleaning the tile floor. I mentioned that she needed to apply some elbow grease. She asked (in all seriousness) "Can I get that at the Storeroom?"

 

have to mention that she was 20 and this might have been her first job...She was more interested

in talking on her cell phone than cleaning and did not last long

Posted
"Why doesn't the government just print more money?"

:D

I've said that. But I was 7 at the time and didn't understand economics, the gold standard, etc....

Posted

OK, I'll bite....why did they all die on the same day? I never really studied the romanov's, or i guess more accurately, I probably didnt pay attention during european history that day :D

 

OK, i get it, you didnt mean the entire family died on the same date...only the family members still around during the end of the russian revolution

 

We were in college genetics and the professor had a diagram of the Romanov family tree up. You probably all have had this lesson in inherited hemophilia, which the youngest son had. Anyways, the chart had the birthday and date of death on it for each family member, and this really dumb girl raises her hand and asks,

 

"How come they all died the same day?" :lol:

 

Also, as many of you know, when the mearest mention of the "s" word is uttered in the South, these people freak out and for some unknown reason go and buy up milk and bread. So I am buying gas at this little country store in this little sh---splat town in NC called Wilson, and the guy in front of me in line says to his friend, NO KIDDING:

 

"I got this ice stuff figured out Fred, you got to start out slow and build your speed up"...

Posted
OK, I'll bite....why did they all die on the same day? I never really studied the romanov's, or i guess more accurately, I probably didnt pay attention during european history that day :D

 

OK, i get it, you didnt mean the entire family died on the same date...only the family members still around during the end of the russian revolution

 

Yes (the second part), they were all murdered by the revolutionaries...

Posted

Former boss at an optical lab I worked for in college said, "I know what you're saying and I agree with you, but you're wrong." <_<

Posted
Yes (the second part), they were all murdered by the revolutionaries...

 

 

Love the avatar dude! Steven Spielberg's first movie he directed. Creepy as hell. My brother and I are fans. The truck they picked for that movie was perfect. Really fearful! :angry:

Posted
A friend, his girlfriend and I were sitting down watching "Family Ties" and I said: "Man Justine Bateman is hot."

 

To which she replied: "How can you say that? Look at those lips!"

 

To which I replied: "They're BJ lips."

 

To which she replied: "Why are men so obsessed with getting BJ's?"

 

To which I replied: "Aside from the fact it's intensely pleasurable I have no idea?" and my friend fell on the floor laughing. :angry:

You're a real charmer, Dan.

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