Dan Gross Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 This is great! I'm scheduled for diversity training on Friday...I'll have to remember these!
R. Rich Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 This is great! I'm scheduled for diversity training on Friday...I'll have to remember these! 77512[/snapback] I'm available to speak to the group if necessary, Dan.
Dan Gross Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I'm available to speak to the group if necessary, Dan. 77515[/snapback] Sorry, but we don't allow bl....er, I mean your kind in.
stevestojan Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Sorry, but we don't allow bl....er, I mean your kind in. 77521[/snapback] His kind, huh? I knew that group of yours didn't like us Blue Man Group fans... i knew it!
Dan Gross Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 His kind, huh? I knew that group of yours didn't like us Blue Man Group fans... i knew it! 77522[/snapback] All right, I'll say it, just to prove you're full of stevestojan. Just don't tell anybody that I was going to say blondes.
ChevyVanMiller Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 In the fairness of diversity, here are some white people jokes (yes, I'm color-challenged) What's white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing! What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow. What do you call a bunch of Crackers in a circle? A Dope Ring! What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? The PGA tour. Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It's hard to find them in the snow. What did they white guy do before his blood test? He studied. How long does it take for a white women to take a crap??? 9 months What's the difference between a white man and a snake? One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake. How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, white men will screw anything. What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl's ass! What did the black guy do with his M&Ms? Eat them What did they white guy try and do with his? Put them in alphabetical order What did a cracker see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line! A cracker girl came up to her dad who was sitting in a beaten up armchair. "Pa, kin ah borrow the truck to-nahgt?" she asked. Her dad looked up to her and said, "Darlin', yew know what yew haf t'do if'n yew wants to borrer th' truck." "But Pa! Ah haf t'go naow!" the cracker girl cried. Her daddy stood up and unzipped his pants. "Yew know perfectly well what yew haf t'do. On yer knees, B word!" The cracker wench complied and started sucking her dad's rooster. After a few seconds she stopped in disgust and looked up to her dad. "Gee Pa, yore dick shore tastes like stevestojan!" Her dad slapped his forhead and said, "Dammit, Ah forgot! Ah already loaned the truck to yer brother just a few minutes ago!" What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cun*s. How did the West Virginian mom know when her daughter was on the rag? Her son's dick tasted funny. What do West Virginian's do on Halloween? Pump-kin. What do you call a White man with a sheep under each arm? A Pimp. What do you call the moisture between two white people having sex? Relative Humidity. Jim Cracker is WHITE!! How white is he? He's so white, during the L.A riots, he went out and bought a TV. What do u call a caption wafer in the toilet? A soft azz cracker
stevestojan Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Blue Man Group is awesome. 77531[/snapback] I know. I saw them on DirecTV's free-per-view. Awesome. That song they do with Dave Matthews is too cool.
Mr Info Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 You know what's funny - There was (maybe still is) a Mexican Restaurant in Richmond (Carey St) actually named "Nacho Mamma's." 77427[/snapback] Yes, there still is a Nacho Mama's in Carytown and the owner will be opening another in Mechanicsville very soon.
R. Rich Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I know. I saw them on DirecTV's free-per-view. Awesome. That song they do with Dave Matthews is too cool. 77534[/snapback] My wife and I saw them perform live about a year ago in Columbia, MD. Great show. Did the Freeview show have the tickers on each side of the stage that kept 'arguing' with each other?
Beerball Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Can someone please tell a WOP joke? Friggin RÛßeÒ had a bunch, and noting for the eyetalians. These jokes are a friggin joke.
R. Rich Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Can someone please tell a WOP joke? Friggin RÛßeÒ had a bunch, and noting for the eyetalians. These jokes are a friggin joke. 77553[/snapback] Here you go: Q. Why is it that most Italian Men are called Tony? A. When they boarded the boat to America, they stamped To NY [Tony] on their foreheads... Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights. Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different? A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys. Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them. A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi." Q. How can you identify the Italian at the rooster fight? A. He's the one who bets on the duck. Q. How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the rooster fight? A. Well, if the Duck wins, you know they are! Francis and Isabella were having their usual battle of the sexes. "Italian men are all stupid," screamed Isabella "Oh, yeah?" yelled her husband. "I'll have you know it was an Italian man who invented the toilet seat!" "And I'll have you know," said his wife, "it was an Italian woman who thought of putting a hole in it!" Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak? A: Pig Latin! Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mammas. "Listen, God is everywhere, trust me, he is absolutely everywhere," the wise old Sicilian priest told little Gianluca, who thought about this for a moment, before grabbing a half-opened matchbox lying on the table, quickly snapped it shut and declared triumphantly: "Got him!!!" Q: How can you tell if an Italian is in the Mafia? A: His favorite dish is broken leg of lamb. Q. Why is it that Italy is shaped like a boot? A. Do you really think they could fit all that sh** in a tennis shoe? Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be? A. The least hairy of the three! Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!" This Italian bloke had never played golf before and so asked for some tips before starting the game. An American player decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball. The American said, "You take this stick and hit the balls so that they roll into the hole". The American putted away and sank the ball from 20 feet in a single stroke. The Italian replied, "In America, you leave your sticka outta and a putta your balls in da hole, but in Italia, we put our sticka inna da hole and leave our balls out"! A Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, "Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS...and write on the envelope, 'Now you have everything.'" Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil? Q: What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 170? A: Sicily. Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business? A. Usually through the skylight. Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna? She said: "You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!" How to Impress an Italian Lady: Wine her, dine her, hug her, support her, compliment her, suprise her, smile at her, hold her, romance her, laugh with her, shop with her, cuddle her, go to the end of the earth for her... How to Impress an Italian Man: Show up naked, Bring Beer. A young priest was tempted by sins of the Flesh and astonishingly went to a call girl. Being unable to hold his emotions, he screams out: "My Daughter, the Lord is with us..." "Well, in that case, you're paying double..." Q. What's an innuendo? A. An Italian suppository.
JÂy RÛßeÒ Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Can someone please tell a WOP joke? Friggin RÛßeÒ had a bunch, and noting for the eyetalians. These jokes are a friggin joke. 77553[/snapback]
bluenews Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 where's your hat? OMG - that was too funny. Thanks for the giggles. 77170[/snapback]
Guest Guest Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I am? Whatever. Many of the regulars on this board know me and know just how serious my posts are on this issue. Those who have never met me or don't know me probably just don't get it. 77385[/snapback] There is no case under which you could post those lists about Black people and Jewish people and somehow expect that we appreciate the "irony" or your brave anti-PC nature. Those jokes serve no real purpose other than to berate people and foment further bias. Simply put. You're an idiot. Moderator, erase this thread and yank this guy's screen name.
Dan Gross Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Here you go: Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights. 77564[/snapback] I thought it was "Fix It Again, Tony"
stevestojan Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 There is no case under which you could post those lists about Black people and Jewish people and somehow expect that we appreciate the "irony" or your brave anti-PC nature. Those jokes serve no real purpose other than to berate people and foment further bias. Simply put. You're an idiot. Moderator, erase this thread and yank this guy's screen name. 77575[/snapback] hahha... yeah, the mod's are gonna ban one of the most respected, well-known, level headed posters at the request of some anonymous guest... now THAT'S good! By the way, retard, you still don't get the joke.
Beerball Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Q. How can you identify the Italian at the rooster fight? A. He's the one who bets on the duck. 77564[/snapback] Hey! I resemble that remark! Low blow!
Beerball Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 77570[/snapback] Your name came up back on page 1 or 2. I felt left out.
Guest Guest Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 hahha... yeah, the mod's are gonna ban one of the most respected, well-known, level headed posters at the request of some anonymous guest... now THAT'S good! By the way, retard, you still don't get the joke. 77578[/snapback] Yeah I get it. R.Rich is black. And that makes the jokes ok, right? Not for me it doesn't. It makes them just as tasteless and bigoted. You, calling me a retard? Now that's a joke. Based on the quality of your posts and your little name trick I'd say you're a waste of good oxygen. Let R. Rich explain this clever irony himself.
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