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Lynch gets his eyeballs lasered...


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Seeing as how it made it to the most popular football column in the country today, I would consider it news.

 

 

buried half-way down the last page, and given that very non-accusational blurb, is about as large of a story as i originally implied.

 

now, IF he is convicted and punished, it will be a bigger story. but until then, its nothing and continuing to fade.

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I wonder if the timing of this Lasik surgery. Would this be some kind of defense or alibi if this case takes a negative turn for Lynch? I'm just asking if it could be, I'm not stating that it would be.

 

 

Honest...I...I had Lasik that day. I have sleep apnea. It was dark and raining. I didn't know I hit her. Someone else was driving. I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!"
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Typically with Lasik, you can't wear contacts for at least a week or two prior to the surgery, so yet another defense on top of the Lasik is there - he couldn't have been wearing his contacts, and literally did not see the person. If he was driving.

 

And this would have to have been scheduled weeks in advance, so yet another paper trail confirming his possible excuse.

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I have to tell you, I'm a little disturbed that he did the Lasik thing. The problem rate is higher than advertised and you've only got one set of eyeballs. let's hope his doctor was good and did a proper screening before he did the procedure and didn't just cash the check and flip the laser on.

Here in D.C., I hear a fairly famous athlete in radio commericials talking about how much he owes to this procedure.

 

He is Tiger Woods.

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You gotta have great vision to juke a divot. :D

I would think seeing a divot is a bit harder than seeing a 350-pound lineman, who I hope to see Lynch juking.

 

Woods says in the commercials that before the surgery the ball on the tee would be fuzzy without glasses or contacts. He says now he can read the words on the ball while it is on the tee and he is standing.

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I would think seeing a divot is a bit harder than seeing a 350-pound lineman, who I hope to see Lynch juking.

 

Woods says in the commercials that before the surgery the ball on the tee would be fuzzy without glasses or contacts. He says now he can read the words on the ball while it is on the tee and he is standing.

 

Fuzzy balls? :D

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I wonder if the timing of this Lasik surgery. Would this be some kind of defense or alibi if this case takes a negative turn for Lynch? I'm just asking if it could be, I'm not stating that it would be.

 

I guess Marshawn took his friends a little too seriously when they told him "Dude, I can't believe you drove home the other night. You couldn't see straight when I left!" We all know the rest...

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