Fan in San Diego Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 RAISING BOYS a) For those who have grown children - this is hysterical! b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. f) For those that have girls, say an extra prayer tonight. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things I've learned from my Boys 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound wearing Batman underwear or a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. not very funny until the last line...good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dib Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 clorox and brake fluid huh? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eSJayDee Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 not very funny until the last line...good stuff. Ditto. I was wondering if one shou8ld use DOT 3 or DOT 5. Gonna get out the respirator & give both a try. I'll get back to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound wearing Batman underwear or a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 4) I'll remember that next time I need to paint a room that has a fan in it. 8/25) I've tried this before, could not get it to work. But doing a quick search, I now know why, I was using liquid bleach. Mods, feel free to delete this section below, if you feel it's not appropiate.... Powdered Bleach, and Brake Fluid. It is a cheap, and easy way to start a quick, large fire. Put the powdered bleach in a pile, next to, or on whatever you want to light up. Pour about the same amount of brake fluid on the bleach (enough to cover bleach pile). A few seconds after mixing, you should notice some bubbling or fizzing. At this point, stand back...the mixture will give off a potent toxic chlorine gas. Depending on the quality an amount of materials used, the fizzing will continue for another 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The final result will be a large colum of flame. Using a 3 inch pile of chlorine, I obtained a 3 foot colum of fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVUFootball29 Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Ditto. I was wondering if one shou8ld use DOT 3 or DOT 5. Gonna get out the respirator & give both a try.I'll get back to you. Its Dot 3....and pool chlorine powder works better than clorox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan in San Diego Posted April 17, 2007 Author Share Posted April 17, 2007 4) I'll remember that next time I need to paint a room that has a fan in it. 8/25) I've tried this before, could not get it to work. But doing a quick search, I now know why, I was using liquid bleach. Mods, feel free to delete this section below, if you feel it's not appropiate.... Powdered Bleach, and Brake Fluid. It is a cheap, and easy way to start a quick, large fire. Put the powdered bleach in a pile, next to, or on whatever you want to light up. Pour about the same amount of brake fluid on the bleach (enough to cover bleach pile). A few seconds after mixing, you should notice some bubbling or fizzing. At this point, stand back...the mixture will give off a potent toxic chlorine gas. Depending on the quality an amount of materials used, the fizzing will continue for another 30 seconds to 2 minutes. The final result will be a large colum of flame. Using a 3 inch pile of chlorine, I obtained a 3 foot colum of fire. How long will it burn ? Is it a super bright flame like magnesium or kind of smokey ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 How long will it burn ? Is it a super bright flame like magnesium or kind of smokey ? I don't know, I've never got it to work because I was trying liquid bleach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 26. Aqua Net and a lighter make a nice torch! (Ever need to sweat a pipe in a pinch?... Works nicely with solder) 27. Cut the cord of an electrical device, strip the two wires... Plug the two wires into a pickle that has been soaking in salt-water for some time... Plug said cord into outlet (NO GFCI)... Watch the pretty colors... Oooooo! Don't ask... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oneonta Buffalo Fan Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.12.) Super glue is forever. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. My mom could confirm these Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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