Tar and Feathers Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 To Bills fans everywhere: I haven't been around lately, and that was due to my tremendously busy schedule during the playoffs and off-season. I had to go from Mr. Romo's house after wildcard weekend, to Mr. McNabb's house after the divisional playoffs (why philly fans blame him for the loss is beyond me, seeing how he was injured and did not play, but Philly fans seem to blame him for everything), all the while flying to Chicago 2-3 timer per week to visit the residence of Mr. Grossman. I needed a vacation, and thankfully February was a light month, with just the occasional voicemail about meeting a few individuals at the house of Mr Levy.*** (see note) It is definitely good to be back amongst my best repeat customers, Bills fans. Regarding the recent roster moves made by your team, and the recent articles and opinions published, it stands to reason that i may again be needed by my nearest and dearest friends in the near future. My entire stock of goods and services are at your disposal for the handling of Mr. Willis McGahee. I only ask that the details of your final plan be fully determined before contacting me. I do not appreciate my time being wasted as it was by the main stream media during the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl. On those two Sundays, i had been scheduled to meet the sportswriters at the house of Mr. Peyton Manning. Both times, however, the media failed to show up. Thankfully i had collected my non-refundable deposit. So Bills fans, I am back, ready, and open for business. Sincerely, TnF ***Two quick notes: 1. Mr. B.A. DOL, whomever you are, please remember you need at least 10 members in your party before i will make available my services. I was highly disappointed when i met you at Mr. Levy's house and there were only 3 other members in your party. This wastes time and resources. 2. Also Bills fans, please note i have changed my contact number on my website. I can no longer give our my personal cellular phone number, due to the unfortunate actions of a few Bills fans. I am sorry to inconvenience everyone, but this had to be done in response to my voicemail being flooded with calls to meet at Mr. Losmans's house from a "D. Luca", and someone else simply identifying themselves as "The Arm". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 what an incredibly long way to go for a mediocre gimmick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinky finger Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billsjunkie Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't get it Are you serious? Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Cat Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Are you serious?Wow. yes I am. Wow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sketch Soland Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 yes I am.Wow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stl Bills Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 To Bills fans everywhere: I haven't been around lately, and that was due to my tremendously busy schedule during the playoffs and off-season. I had to go from Mr. Romo's house after wildcard weekend, to Mr. McNabb's house after the divisional playoffs (why philly fans blame him for the loss is beyond me, seeing how he was injured and did not play, but Philly fans seem to blame him for everything), all the while flying to Chicago 2-3 timer per week to visit the residence of Mr. Grossman. I needed a vacation, and thankfully February was a light month, with just the occasional voicemail about meeting a few individuals at the house of Mr Levy.*** (see note) It is definitely good to be back amongst my best repeat customers, Bills fans. Regarding the recent roster moves made by your team, and the recent articles and opinions published, it stands to reason that i may again be needed by my nearest and dearest friends in the near future. My entire stock of goods and services are at your disposal for the handling of Mr. Willis McGahee. I only ask that the details of your final plan be fully determined before contacting me. I do not appreciate my time being wasted as it was by the main stream media during the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl. On those two Sundays, i had been scheduled to meet the sportswriters at the house of Mr. Peyton Manning. Both times, however, the media failed to show up. Thankfully i had collected my non-refundable deposit. So Bills fans, I am back, ready, and open for business. Sincerely, TnF ***Two quick notes: 1. Mr. B.A. DOL, whomever you are, please remember you need at least 10 members in your party before i will make available my services. I was highly disappointed when i met you at Mr. Levy's house and there were only 3 other members in your party. This wastes time and resources. 2. Also Bills fans, please note i have changed my contact number on my website. I can no longer give our my personal cellular phone number, due to the unfortunate actions of a few Bills fans. I am sorry to inconvenience everyone, but this had to be done in response to my voicemail being flooded with calls to meet at Mr. Losmans's house from a "D. Luca", and someone else simply identifying themselves as "The Arm". I'm never going to get back that 60 seconds of my life am I? For that, you just made my list, congrats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ndirish1978 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I think I hate you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDS Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 [This is an automated response] As a courtesy to the other board members, please use more descriptive subject lines. The topic starter can edit the subject line to make it more appropriate. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tar and Feathers Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 [This is an automated response]As a courtesy to the other board members, please use more descriptive subject lines. The topic starter can edit the subject line to make it more appropriate. Thank you. Fixed, oh fearless leader! I know i normally require a minimum party of 10, but due to your gratitude, would you like me to meet you at the place of residence of the certain posters that you spoke of in our last contact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rico Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Fixed, oh fearless leader! I know i normally require a minimum party of 10, but due to your gratitude, would you like me to meet you at the place of residence of the certain posters that you spoke of in our last contact? Figures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuntheDamnBall Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Laaaame. Please send a note to self that you might require your own services. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heard of Buffalo Bills Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Where in the world do threads like this come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuanGuzman Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I think i finally understand how we're ranked the most miserable sports fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinky finger Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Figures. Boris Badinoff?!?!?! The "....kill moose and skwile...." Boris Badinoff?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDawkinstein Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Figures. HAHAHAHAHAHAH EXPOSED!!!!!! i expect better from the Dean, frankly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBilliever Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 And again, I am one step closer to lighting myself on fire... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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