Jump to content

The "new thread" Police


LevysEraII

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 76
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

I don't think most Germans smell bad. Your constant need to stereotype people lessens your overall message (IMHO).

 

You must admit, however, that Germans do actually love David Hasselhoff...

 

You ever try to walk down a Munich street when a rerun of "Knight Rider" is airing?

 

You can, easily, because the streets are empty!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You must admit, however, that Germans do actually love David Hasselhoff...

 

You ever try to walk down a Munich street when a rerun of "Knight Rider" is airing?

 

You can, easily, because the streets are empty!

That just proves that they have bad taste, not that they taste bad. However, I would attribute their overall low crime rate to Hasselfoff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That just proves that they have bad taste, not that they taste bad. However, I would attribute their overall low crime rate to Hasselfoff.

 

Yes, the low crime rate is a result of a massive Hasslehoff inundation upon the central nervous system of the German populace. I would also credit a general upswing in the socio-economic status of the populace due to an increase in GDP derived from the mass selling of 1 inch pieces of the Berlin Wall. It's amazing how many pieces of the wall are still being recovered!

 

And they do look especially nice on your kitchen window sill next to the chia pets!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And they do look especially nice on your kitchen window sill next to the chia pets!

I got one (certified original) for $50. I did just like you said and put it on the kitchen window. Unfortunately I chucked it out the window at a squirrel. Bastard ran off with my rock.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got one (certified original) for $50. I did just like you said and put it on the kitchen window. Unfortunately I chucked it out the window at a squirrel. Bastard ran off with my rock.

 

I have found that the best projectiles to hurl at a squirrel are those little detergent balls that you put in your dish washer to wash the dishes. If you hit the squirrel, you can knock him out of the tree, which is of course a good thing, because squirrels like to look in your windows and spy on you and who knows who they work for these days. And even if you don't hit the squirrel, he will notice the colorful thing flying by and go to retrieve it. When he out of curiousity picks up the detergent ball, he will puncture it with his teeth and swallow the detergent. That will teach him from skulking around your kitchen window if he is a normal squirrel. If he is a mutant squirrel, that is a whole other nut to crack and I do not have the time nor the inclination to publish the means for defeating those bastards on the internets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have found that the best projectiles to hurl at a squirrel are those little detergent balls that you put in your dish washer to wash the dishes. If you hit the squirrel, you can knock him out of the tree, which is of course a good thing, because squirrels like to look in your windows and spy on you and who knows who they work for these days. And even if you don't hit the squirrel, he will notice the colorful thing flying by and go to retrieve it. When he out of curiousity picks up the detergent ball, he will puncture it with his teeth and swallow the detergent. That will teach him from skulking around your kitchen window if he is a normal squirrel. If he is a mutant squirrel, that is a whole other nut to crack and I do not have the time nor the inclination to publish the means for defeating those bastards on the internets.

Squirrels are working for Capri Sun®. Nice to meet another crayonz disciple around here. His word contains many truths.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Squirrels are working for Capri Sun®. Nice to meet another crayonz disciple around here. His word contains many truths.

 

Sammy the Hamster will save us from the Canadians.

That's how the world ends or something.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Squirrels are working for Capri Sun®. Nice to meet another crayonz disciple around here. His word contains many truths.

 

Capri Sun? I did not realize this but it does make sense as I think about it. Squirrels are sneaky little bastards that look innocent but contain deceitful multitudes, much like a pouch of Capri Sun Product. It looks rather innocent but when you try to insert the straw into the proscibed insertion area, the pouch almost resists like it has a mind of its own. Who has ever been able to insert the straw in the so called "insert here" area? The straw somehow magically enters in another location, and if you do get too close to the insertion area, the pouch pulls a hara-kiri and rips itself open, sacrificing its liquid into the firmament to protect whatever secrets its guards. If I had to hazard a guess, I would suspect that the so called "juice" is some dark magic formula used to infiltrate and reconfigure our bodily fluids on a cellular level, much like DC Tom and the commies tried to do in the 50s and the 60s with the flouride in water.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...