ChevyVanMiller Posted October 12, 2004 Posted October 12, 2004 There was a thread earlier in the year and a bunch of you stated that Dolphins week was still the apex of the season. I guess a combined 0 - 9 record takes the steam out of that, doesn't it? Kelly vs Merino, Levy vs Shula it ain't! Well here's my part to put some blood back into your red, white and blue veins. Buffalo vs. Miami -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A signature Nick Bakay Tale of the Tape 9/5/2004 The moment is frozen in my heart like it was yesterday. A young, ginger-haired dreamer name o' Bakay attended every 1970 Bills home game at the Old Rockpile. I saw men get drunk, I saw men get in fights, I saw the Jills back in the day when team rules decreed they had to be married - and at least 30 pounds overweight. What I didn't get to see was good football from the local team. That's the year I learned there isn't much to savor in a three-win season, so you have to reframe your definition of glory. This was long before O.J. was infamous. Hell, it was long before O.J. gained 2,003 yards in a 14-game season. He was just a former No. 1 pick still buried in a decoy role. Then it happened - a pitch to O.J.,s running left, and for once, miles of daylight before him, save for one lone defender in the contain role. But lo and behold, bearing down on that defender, a much-maligned blocker for the Bills that season with the unlikely name of Richard Cheek. Maybe it was his name, or his journeyman skill level, but Cheek wasn't what you'd call a fan favorite. But as he pulled left as the lead blocker, the whole stadium stood, the moment slowed down like the seconds leading up to a car Rosen, and I could feel our group consciousness meld into one pure thought: "C'mon, Cheek, just get a helmet on him. Spring the Juice, give us one moment to take home with us, and all is forgiven ... " Frame by frame, I can still see Cheek trip ... stumble ... and eat turf. I can still hear the collective gasp as a 60-yard touchdown romp disintegrated into a 2-yard loss. Sure, it still stings, but it was a defining moment for me - in that slow-mo nanosecond, I realized what being a Bills fan is all about: Hope. And here I am again, 34 years later, basking in that hopeful time of year, when all things good seem possible for the Bills as they embark on another campaign. Four seasons out of the playoffs? Never fear. Mularkey's here. Bledsoe spent more time on his back last season than Paris Hilton? Relax, the alarm clock is here (and hopefully a sub-400-pound Mike Williams). I'll grab hold of anything and everything I can, safe in the experience-leathered knowledge that winning seasons are an emotional cakewalk, and tough seasons are easily saved by three simple words: Just beat Miami. That's right - it's never too early to think Super Bowl, and it's never too early to hate the Dolphins. I have a good friend who taught his 5-year-old son the golden rule: Who's your favorite team? The Bills. Who's your second-favorite team? Whoever's playing Miami this week. It's the way it is, and the fact that the 'Fins roster gets thinner by the minute doesn't exactly bring a tear to my eye. Am I kicking them when they're down? Gee, I don't remember Shula every showing us much mercy. I've always felt this was football's perfect rivalry - North against South, Cold vs. Sun, Blue Collar City vs. Versace Death Site. They beat us for the entire decade of the '70s, we returned the favor a decade later. Like Michigan/Ohio State - even if the season's a bust - you gotta win this one. We don't get 'em at home in the winter this year, but we don't need to. Let the pummeling begin: Buffalo vs. Miami - the teams, the towns. ... It's got to help to see how they stack up at the Tale of the Tape. Logos: BUFFALO: A majestic, snorting beast. MIAMI: Flipper's unmarried uncle. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Nicknames: BUFFALO: The Nickel City. MIAMI: Death's Waiting Room. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. What People Try to Smuggle Across the Border: BUFFALO: A Fort Erie stripper. MIAMI: Elian Gonzalez. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Viable Running Backs: BUFFALO: Two. MIAMI: None. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Controversy be damned, McGahee and Henry are what I call a classy problem. Super Bowl Wins: BUFFALO: None. MIAMI: Two. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Where's the dignity in watching your team win one if you're watching it in shorts!? Things They Never Want to See: BUFFALO: Thurman in a Dolphins uniform. MIAMI: Horizontal snow at the Ralph in December. ADVANTAGE: Push. Never Again: BUFFALO: Four consecutive Super Bowl appearances. MIAMI: A perfect, undefeated season in 1972. ADVANTAGE: Crap, I have to give 'em that one. Let's move on ... Team Colors: BUFFALO: Red, white and blue. MIAMI: Aqua green and orange. I feel soft just writing that! Hey, Hojo's called, they want their shirts back. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Forces of Nature: BUFFALO: The sky between October and May. MIAMI: Hurricane Charley. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Head Coach's Last Names: BUFFALO: Mularkey, which I believe is Irish for trick play. MIAMI: Wannstedt, which I believe is Floridian for "Maybe I can be somebody's defensive coordinator next year." ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Owner's Bought Franchises by ... : BUFFALO: Putting his chips on the AFL. MIAMI: Amassing a fortune in waste management. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Early Signs of Trouble: BUFFALO: Bledsoe is passing with an alarm clock. MIAMI: Dan Marino was hired as team president, took a look around, then quit two days later. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Reunited and It Feels so Good: BUFFALO: Jim McNally and Western New York. MIAMI: Ricky Williams and Lenny Kravitz's bong. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Tailgate Treats: BUFFALO: Wings 'n beer. MIAMI: Plantains, nothin' but plantains. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Worthy of a Double Take: BUFFALO: Man breasts bared to the icy winds MIAMI: Wannstedt's trembling mustache at the "Ricky retired" news conference. ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. Not that I'm encouraging it, but you have to give points for frostbitten man-nipples. Local Mottoes: BUFFALO: Squish the Fish! MIAMI: We fixed the election! ADVANTAGE: Buffalo. So there you have it, it's all so simple when you break things down scientifically. In a stampede, the advantage goes to Buffalo. But hang in there Miami, maybe Madonna will move back there someday. Until next time, I'm Nick Bakay reminding you the numbers never lie. Forum: The Stadium Wall · Post Preview: #19198
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