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Posted

Last night I ran approximately 40 yards in 6.78 seconds trying to drop off a DHL overseas package before the driver left the pickup area. Mission accomplished. Please note that I was also wearing dress shoes and it was sleeting out.

 

I think that speaks to my intangibles as well, coming through in the clutch like that.

 

Also, I benched 225 lbs three times in 2004. Right now I'd probably max out on one rep at about 175, but cut me a break, it's the offseason!

 

I am 5'11" and 190 lbs. I have zero children out of wedlock- I hope I don't slip in the draft because of this. I have been a Bills season ticket holder for many years, so I've got a good understanding of underperforming football teams. In college, I played QB and WR on the 2nd place intramural flag football squad. Much like the early-90's Bills, a lack of team curfew may have led to our demise, as the title game was at 10am on a Saturday morning. Two guys puked in the 1st quarter- true story...good times...We did win that elusive championship t-shirt in intramural hoops though...

 

So where do you see me going? Late 1st round or early 2nd? And do I keep my signing bonus if I get cut before they break camp?

Posted
Last night I ran approximately 40 yards in 6.78 seconds trying to drop off a DHL overseas package before the driver left the pickup area. Mission accomplished. Please note that I was also wearing dress shoes and it was sleeting out.

 

I think that speaks to my intangibles as well, coming through in the clutch like that.

 

Also, I benched 225 lbs three times in 2004. Right now I'd probably max out on one rep at about 175, but cut me a break, it's the offseason!

 

I am 5'11" and 190 lbs. I have zero children out of wedlock- I hope I don't slip in the draft because of this. I have been a Bills season ticket holder for many years, so I've got a good understanding of underperforming football teams. In college, I played QB and WR on the 2nd place intramural flag football squad. Much like the early-90's Bills, a lack of team curfew may have led to our demise, as the title game was at 10am on a Saturday morning. Two guys puked in the 1st quarter- true story...good times...We did win that elusive championship t-shirt in intramural hoops though...

 

So where do you see me going? Late 1st round or early 2nd? And do I keep my signing bonus if I get cut before they break camp?

 

I like your size and speed, but do you have any film of the DHL handoff. I would need to see it to make a decision on your draft staus. And having a kid out of wedlock would not be a bad idea. You know GM's look for major flaws in character.

Posted
Much like the early-90's Bills, a lack of team curfew may have led to our demise

 

Did the OL , QB, or playcalling affect your performance at all McGahee, i mean Moulds, I mean smokinandjokin?

 

****Yes, Please pass it around (not the ball, wink wink)****

Posted

Since I take EVERYTHING you said as gospel... (Who would lie about their "40" times!?), I'm wondering what number you wore at the combine? Since I Tivo'd the entire event so I can rerun it several million times this month to be absolutely sure the Bills have made the RIGHT selection, I NEED this info before I weigh-in on your true potential.

Posted
How's your motor?

 

What kind of upside are we talking here?

 

I am slightly undersized but I am a high-motor white guy. I am not sure about the upside- I believe I peaked athletically about 10 or 11 years ago. I could dunk a tennis ball in high school...Now I can grab net...

 

I have never had any major injuries and I have an especially resiliant liver.

 

I have been arrested twice, which should keep the Bengals, Fins, Cowboys, and Raiders interested...

Posted
Last night I ran approximately 40 yards in 6.78 seconds trying to drop off a DHL overseas package before the driver left the pickup area. Mission accomplished. Please note that I was also wearing dress shoes and it was sleeting out.

 

I think that speaks to my intangibles as well, coming through in the clutch like that.

 

Also, I benched 225 lbs three times in 2004. Right now I'd probably max out on one rep at about 175, but cut me a break, it's the offseason!

 

I am 5'11" and 190 lbs. I have zero children out of wedlock- I hope I don't slip in the draft because of this. I have been a Bills season ticket holder for many years, so I've got a good understanding of underperforming football teams. In college, I played QB and WR on the 2nd place intramural flag football squad. Much like the early-90's Bills, a lack of team curfew may have led to our demise, as the title game was at 10am on a Saturday morning. Two guys puked in the 1st quarter- true story...good times...We did win that elusive championship t-shirt in intramural hoops though...

 

So where do you see me going? Late 1st round or early 2nd? And do I keep my signing bonus if I get cut before they break camp?

 

 

Dockery? Is that you?

Posted
Be honest. What are your real feelings about Toronto?

 

I have been instructed by my agent Scooter Libby not to divulge that information. You will have to read it for yourself in my interview in the March issue of Blacks & Racks magazine.

Posted
I have been instructed by my agent Scooter Libby not to divulge that information. You will have to read it for yourself in my interview in the March issue of Blacks & Racks magazine.

 

We'll need to see how good of an interviewer you are first. Also, we are unsure of your performance at the senior bowl. We had expected you to be able to bowl a 165 and defeat Beatrice, but your 144 was lackluster.

 

And rumors have been swirling that you initially gave your interview for "Buns and Ammo". One of our personnel scouts, Tim Hardaway, pointed this out as a serious character flaw. Care to comment?

Posted
We'll need to see how good of an interviewer you are first. Also, we are unsure of your performance at the senior bowl. We had expected you to be able to bowl a 165 and defeat Beatrice, but your 144 was lackluster.

 

And rumors have been swirling that you initially gave your interview for "Buns and Ammo". One of our personnel scouts, Tim Hardaway, pointed this out as a serious character flaw. Care to comment?

 

The bowling can be explained easily. I don't throw the curveball, only fastballs. As you know, when you can't locate your fastball, you're in for a long day. Once again, speaking to my ability as a clutch performer, I did roll three strikes in the beer frame.

 

As for the Buns and Ammo interview, that was a complete miscommunication between myself and my public relations rep, Lance Bass. I thought it was going to be a political interview about WMD's for an ammunition magazine, but I misunderstood Lance when he said it was for their Weapons of Ass Destruction issue. These things happen.

Posted

If your NFL career falters, I would like to offer you a position in Landscaping.

 

The job is best right now as i am drinking alot of beer and waiting for the grass to grow.

 

What is the best way to ellimiante WEED besides smoking it?

Posted
The bowling can be explained easily. I don't throw the curveball, only fastballs. As you know, when you can't locate your fastball, you're in for a long day. Once again, speaking to my ability as a clutch performer, I did roll three strikes in the beer frame.

 

As for the Buns and Ammo interview, that was a complete miscommunication between myself and my public relations rep, Lance Bass. I thought it was going to be a political interview about WMD's for an ammunition magazine, but I misunderstood Lance when he said it was for their Weapons of Ass Destruction issue. These things happen.

 

B-):(:ph34r:

 

you owe me a new keyboard...wow, i needed that laugh on a friday.

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