Jump to content

A sad day for all us couch potatos


\GoBillsInDallas/

Recommended Posts

 

It won't be long until some university goes crying to some Congressman for federal money to start a Center for Remote Control Medical Research, who will declare after a year or so that remote controls are a major contributor to obesity in society. The researchers will also enter into consulting contracts with WeightWatchers and Slim Fast.

 

A Center for Economic Effects of Remote Controls will also be funded by taxpayer money, and they will in a timely fashion, calculate the dire economic consequences due to the remote control.

 

Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, George Clooney etc. will wail and wring their hands and accuse Republicans of an insidious plot.

 

Congress will launch an investigation, and form a committee headed by none other than Sen. Schumer. The remote control manufacturers will meet with the committee at a neutral site - somewhere in the sunny Caribbean would be nice - and inject wads of cash into the Masters of the Universe's campaign warchests, so they can continue to discuss this problem of all problems.

 

And so, we shall all sleep soundly ever after...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...