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The Official 2007 American Idol Thread


Rico

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But now the viewers have a new reason to keep voting for Sanjaya and no it's not his new mustache (which doesn't look like a mustache at all, in fact it looks like he tried to eat a black sharpie and missed his mouth -- several times).

 

Now when we learn Sanjaya is safe we get to watch his father dance an Indian gig like the homeless man on my street who dances for nickles. It's the funniest 30 seconds of TV Fox has had in a long time!

Yeah, I agree. One of the DJs on a radio station here mentioned that he hasn't watched AI in years but started watching again just to see Sanjaya make a fool of himself and to see if he's still around. ;)

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Well it's not like I keep track of the show every single week. :w00t:

 

 

WTF is with you...you do not care about the show...but yet you keep track of this thread with your zzzzzzzz comments...

 

Me think you have a crush on Sanjayah :)

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I heard the funniest song about Sanjaya last night on a local radio station. It was sung to the tune of: "Daylight Come and Me Wanna Go Home". It said,"America, please send Sanjaya home". I can't find it anywhere.....not even thru Google. Anybody else hear it?

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Wow, was Hayley looking smoking hot last night!! :D Too bad she can't sing very well. I about blew chunks at the sight of Lakisha's back fat shaking all over the place though.... :D

 

I predict Haley and Phil are in the bottom this week and unfortunately I think Haley goes home.

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American Idol Season 6

Air Date: 10-Apr-07

Guest Coach: Jennifer Lopez

 

Latin Music night featured Jennifer Lopez as the guest coach. Am I the only one who, when hearing her say that American Idol keeps her “on the edge of her seat”, snickered a little? Anyway…

 

First up was Ebony Neckless (Melinda), reminding us that she’s actually a retired postal employee with a face full-o-Botox, a titanium girdle, and a new ‘do from Wanda’s Wig-Wam. I mean, she’s at least 65 years old, right? She hit every note, but was so dull that -- and I’m not kidding about this -- it actually made my cats start brawling. Weird. But she’ll dominate the Geritol voting demographic and sail through for another performance, broadcast by satellite from the assisted living center.

 

Next was La Quiche á Jones (Lakisha), going back-to-back with Ebony as the producers try to emphasize the Dumpy Diva Duel. As she hit the stage (and I mean “hit” the stage, because there was a perceptible shudder in Camera 6), her udders bounced and her back-fat rippled. Despite the fact that she needed speech therapy from J-Lo, like a stroke patient at Ebony’s assisted living center, in order to pronounce the name of the song, she sang relatively well, and will be voted through to next week based upon the swine-‘n’-bovine voting demographic.

 

Up third was Justin Noseflute (Chris), who, week by week, is losing his grip on the future sponsorship deal with Flonase nasal spray. For a guy with so much nasal obstruction in the early weeks of the season, he’s sounding less and less like his name implies. Maybe it’s the physical effect of his trademark Snap-Your-Head-to-the-Right dance move? (Seriously, try this at home and you’ll do a perfect Justin Noseflute impersonation. Just look straight ahead, and snap your head to the right and then snap it back to center in one continuous motion, preferably on the “4” beat of a boy-band song.) The judges were right that Justin was less boring than the Dumpy Divas, which didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t boring, but he will also be back next week.

 

Next was Gams O’Do-me (Hayley), back for another night on the cruise ship, singing over the clanging of forks on Princess Cruise Lines china. With her lips sponsored by Coke (the same color as the judges’ cups) and, as Simon said, “wearing as least (sic) clothes as possible”, Gams continues to play to the only demographic still voting for her: college-aged males watching with the sound off. But not realizing that half of her demographic is on spring break right now, her shrieky performance threatens to, at last, send her back to singing at weddings and waiting for the job offers from the Weather Channel and Hugh Hefner.

 

Up fifth was Paler Sailor (Phil), wearing a lid to cover his chemo-ravaged skull. With a total change in vocal technique this week, Paler channeled his long lost buddy, Lardy McBrillopad (Chris Sligh) and sang from his throat like a muppet. His voice cracking on every high note and his creepy eyes belying the panic in his heart, Paler danced on the precipice of elimination. Clinging to his last hope of surviving to next week, Paler informed Simon that his daughter has a stuffed-animal cow at home that she calls Simon Cow. This will bring in votes both from weepy post-partum moms AND the swine-‘n’-bovine demographic, and Paler might just be back next week.

 

Next was Sparky Permasmile (Jordin), wearing snug-fitting high-waisted pants that clearly demonstrated what milkshakes can do to the hind-quarters of a 17-year-old girl. Her cheery charm is starting to peel away, revealing glimmers that in real life, she is actually annoying as !@#$. She carried the tune pretty well, but accented her delivery with an off-putting she-Daughtry vibrato. Nonetheless, Sparky will dominate the overweight-17-year-old-female voting demographic -- the single most powerful demographic in the history of human-kind -- and will easily make it through to next week.

 

Up seventh was B’shicka-b’shicka-b-b-lake (Blake), wearing an outfit he stole from an octogenarian sitting on the front steps of a South Miami Beach apartment building, pit stains and all. As he hit the last note of his song, I wrote the words “abject hatred” in my notebook, because that’s how I feel after him going three consecutive weeks without any beatboxing. (Crap -- now I’m going to have to change his alias.) But despite my hatred, B’shicka sounded pretty good and will certainly return next week.

 

The last performer was Sangria Shemale-akar (Sanjaya), doing his best Spahcy Lahteen Lubbair (spicy Latin lover) imitation, while looking more like a street urchin from the slums of Sao Paolo whose sugar daddy gave him twenty bucks for a new outfit, some hair gel, and a little somethin’ somethin’. The light and fruity Sangria finally found the key to his continued success -- singing in a different language -- and, dare I say it, sounded pretty good. (Shoot me now.)

 

Who will emerge from the most boring episode in the history of the series, and who will go home? Will Gams O’Do-me’s spring break miscalculation send her straight to the pages of Playboy? Or will Paler Saler’s Sligh-homage sink his battleship? Find out tonight…after the break.

 

(With a tip of the hat to USMC for having similar predictions and observations!) :w00t:

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Tonight may be pretty interesting....the dialidol.com website has Lakisha and *gasp!* Jordin as potentially being the bottom two. Even though Lakisha has maybe the best voice, I'd much rather see her go...I don't think she's marketable at all, and I find her performances pretty damn boring. Jordin has much more potential, IMO.

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I still miss Antonella :nana: Seriously, the talent this season is drab - could it have really hurt to keep her around :nana:

As I stated earlier in this thread, some people (mostly males sadly!) would rather keep a weird dude over a hot chick in the contest because they believe they are somehow sticking it to corporate America. But in reality they are just making the show more popular than ever. Keep up the good work morons. At least the weird dudes sister is hot..........

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GEEEEEZUS Sanjaya sucks....

 

Anyway, the main reason I am so enamored with this show is because I love watching someone go from total unknown to legit pop star. I've been fearful that either Lakisha or Melinda was going to win this season, and I think that would be a huge setback for the show. Not that they aren't talented, because they are....but they have ZERO marketability and, quite frankly, they're both boring as hell. I'm now convinced that my favorite from day one, Miss Jordin Sparks, is without a doubt the performer with the most potential to really be a star. She's got the youth, the personality, the looks, and a great big voice to top it all off. She's really coming into her own, and I think she could really become popular, particularly among teens and the top 40 crowd. Jordin is just plain awesome....

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I'm now convinced that my favorite from day one, Miss Jordin Sparks, is without a doubt the performer with the most potential to really be a star. She's got the youth, the personality, the looks, and a great big voice to top it all off. She's really coming into her own, and I think she could really become popular, particularly among teens and the top 40 crowd. Jordin is just plain awesome....

Agreed.

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GEEEEEZUS Sanjaya sucks....

 

Anyway, the main reason I am so enamored with this show is because I love watching someone go from total unknown to legit pop star. I've been fearful that either Lakisha or Melinda was going to win this season, and I think that would be a huge setback for the show. Not that they aren't talented, because they are....but they have ZERO marketability and, quite frankly, they're both boring as hell. I'm now convinced that my favorite from day one, Miss Jordin Sparks, is without a doubt the performer with the most potential to really be a star. She's got the youth, the personality, the looks, and a great big voice to top it all off. She's really coming into her own, and I think she could really become popular, particularly among teens and the top 40 crowd. Jordin is just plain awesome....

 

I am not sure what is funnier - Sanjaya or you thinking that this is a talent contest. Clearly it is not. Rather, AI is a marketing contest that promotes a brand (American Idol) - not artists.

 

Notice that if any of the "logos" (my name for the AI contestants) try to show originality the judges and voters lash out at them. They need to fit a pre-made corporate pop-culture mold.

 

That is why my punk rock hero - Sanjaya - could bring down corporate pop machine.

 

BTW - am I alone in thinking that Melinda looks like Shrek?

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I am not sure what is funnier - Sanjaya or you thinking that this is a talent contest.

 

Um, do you see where in my post I mentioned why neither Lakisha nor Melinda winning would be good for the show? Because they are not MARKETABLE. I understand exactly what this show is, and that is exactly why I am intrigued by it.

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I just checked out the predictions at dialidol.com, and they have Sanjaya at the bottom for the first time all season....could this be the day Sanjaya goes b.harami? Of course, they haven't been right about anything this year, so for all we know Sanjaya had the most votes :blink:

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I still miss Antonella :blink: Seriously, the talent this season is drab - could it have really hurt to keep her around :blink:

I've said the same thing. I watch every now and then, but it is not must see TV like last year with the king of spaz Taylor Hicks!!!

 

Look what's left...

 

 

3 ugly black chicks(I guess the "idol" part does not apply. Where is Latoya London when you need her?), 3 COMPLETELY unforgettable male singers and SANJAYA. Actually, out of the final 7, Sanjaya provides the most in terms of entertainment value by far. Unfortunately, I doubt "vote for the worst" & Howard Stern can get Sanjaya all the way to the finale.

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