NavyBillsFan Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. ** > >**>> The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said,** > >**>> "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year- >** > >**>> old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about >** > >**>> that?"** > >**The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.** > >**"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and ** > >**never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he ** > >**was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane ** > >**instead of his gun.** > >**As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting ** > >**at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so ** > >**couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised ** > >**his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting ** > >**rifle and went 'bang, bang'.** > >**Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. ** > >**Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.** > >**The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped ** > >**a couple of rounds into that beaver."** > >**The doctor replied, "My point exactly!"** A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's wiener off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window. Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the wiener smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off. Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, "It....it was only a bug, Honey." The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said ... "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
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