keepthefaith Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I have a gut feeling that Long Island Phil sells carpet. 856591[/snapback] No way. He's a Long Island Cab driver for sure. They are among the angriest and lowest class individuals in the entire country. He sounds just like them.
Wacka Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 GEEEZ I expected better smack than this........ Toilet humor? Come on....... BOY I LOVE LOSING SUPERBOWLS PS, Guff you can keep Albany and Buffalo Universities. I'll stick with NYU or Columbia or Princeton 857266[/snapback] About a 2.5/10 on the trash talk scale. Points off for not bringing up anything recent, also points off for coming from a fan of a team who was to the Superbowl ONCE , 37 years ago.
justnzane Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 PS, Guff you can keep Albany and Buffalo Universities. I'll stick with NYU or Columbia or Princeton 857266[/snapback] Hell I am up at SUNY Brockport, but say what you will about the SUNY schools man since they cost about half as much as those private schools. Also, for as much as i have spent, i think i am getting a value in education with the SUNY system. Besides it is nice to go a school that doesn't have 30,000 people on campus
ezbills Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Wasn't Richard Nixon the President when the Jets won their only Super Bowl? Did they wear leather helmets in that game and have the goal posts on the goal line? When that game was played, there were still people alive who were born during the Civil War!!! Get something new to post about, like Chad Pennington's flimsy rotator cuff, the complete domination of the Jets by the Jags (whom the Bills recently beat), or the Jets loss to the Browns.
Cornerville Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Hair Grease: $9.00 Klecko Jersey: $125.00 87 Buick Skylark: $975.00 Makin out with a wicked hot jersey broad with 3 foot hair and a half pound of cheap perfume after watching pennington go 19/21 for 62 yards........PRICELESS 856845[/snapback]
Cornerville Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 GEEEZ I expected better smack than this........ Toilet humor? Come on....... BOY I LOVE LOSING SUPERBOWLS PS, Guff you can keep Albany and Buffalo Universities. I'll stick with NYU or Columbia or Princeton 857266[/snapback] Just End The Season? After the Bills dispose of the Jets this Sunday, you will call Ira from Staten Island, the resident Jets fan on NY sports radio, and he will swing by and pick you up in his 1987 IROC-Z wearing a Mickey Shuler jersey listening to a cassete tape of Debbie Gibson, and you will go sulk in your sorrows at some sleezy Long Island strip joint, reminiscing of the glory days of Freeman McNeil and Browing Nagle. Then to cap off the night, you and Ira will hit some club on Long Island, you wearing your best Z Cavaricci shirt for the night and some English Leather to lure the Long Island big hair ladies, and as you are dancing to some 80's techno, you drop your cigarette, causing a massive fire, and Fireman Ed comes to the rescue!
stuckincincy Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Not all Jets fans are idiots. 857384[/snapback] Not at all. the Jets are a good franchise, with much more criticism from the locals than we do. You are having a real nice season, after being left for dead last year.
keepthefaith Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Not all Jets fans are idiots. 857384[/snapback] You're right. Many are worse than that.
Cornerville Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Ok folks here are the tips Phil wants me to pass along: 1. Dairy Barn is a store that sells hangover helper called "Chocolate Milk" guaranteed to quell any hangover. 2. Long Island is shaped like a fish, therefore when referring to your location, be specific about where on the fish you are. 3. Two counties in Long Island, Nassau and Suffolk, Suffolk is larger and farthest east. Home to inbreds and backwoods types, if Phil falls into this category, he is dating his sister or aunt. If he is from Nassau county he trolls Hempstead turnpike on Friday nights in a nitro charged rice burner Honda Accord or crap like that, waiting for the "G" club to open so he can score some south shore punani with the rock hard hair and spiked heels. 4. When Phil grew up (well, when he finally grows up) he hopes to buy a home somewhere south of Sunrise if he is near the south shore, if he is a north shore guy, he is shooting for Huntington, but can't afford it, so he goes for Huntington Station and tries to convince everyone that its gonna change. 5. Phil and co. will have you believe that they are die hard Pennington fans, yet in the most recent draft they were screaming for a new QB to be picked, hell they have been screaming for a new QB for the last 2 drafts. 6. There are several parkways used to get around Long Island, they either go East/West or North/South, this makes it easy for people like Phil to get around. 7. The highlight for a Long Island boy like Phil is when he gets to go to Robert Moses State Park and go to the nudie beach, it gives him hours of happy thoughts when he is alone in Mom and Dad's basement apartment. 8. Late night fare for Long Island Jet fans: Age 15-25> White Castle burgers (rotten, foul, gray meat/flesh cooked in onions and steamed to a gelatenous mess). If he is older, and able to handle a fork, he will go to a 24 hour diner, order a double cheeseburger platter and then vomit in the parking lot. 9. Waits patiently each year to add to his valuable Hess truck collection which he guards with his life, banking on sending his loin drippings through Nassau Community College with the windfall that this fine collection will surely bring someday in the future. 856909[/snapback] There are a lot of funny posts online...but this one is an all time classic!!!!!!!!!!!
Lori Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Wasn't Richard Nixon the President when the Jets won their only Super Bowl? Did they wear leather helmets in that game and have the goal posts on the goal line? When that game was played, there were still people alive who were born during the Civil War!!! Get something new to post about, like Chad Pennington's flimsy rotator cuff, the complete domination of the Jets by the Jags (whom the Bills recently beat), or the Jets loss to the Browns. 857294[/snapback] Actually, no. It's even worse than that: Nixon was the President-elect, but hadn't been inaugurated yet. Watch for Phil on TV Sunday. Odds are, he's the guy in the size-XXXL Gastineau jersey with the matching mullet...
Long Island Phil Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Not all Jets fans are idiots. 857384[/snapback] Thats true Smizzy, not all Jets fans are idiots. Just the ones that back stab a fellow Jet fan on a Bills website. Whats the matter, not enough a$$ for you to kiss at work so you gotta come here to get your quota ? Smizzy, I have read some of your posts on JN and lets just say that well.......you post ALOT. Anyway, the only purpose of my visit was to have some fun and most of you guys/gals got it. Bills fans are great, I enjoy your passion for the team. Guffalo's posts were pretty damn funny stuff. I showed my wife and she got a good laugh from it. I will only post again Sunday night after the game so if you win you will have another shot at this old Jet fan ! (or vica versa) I sincerly hope no Bill or Jet player is injured and it is a well played game. Good luck, Phil PS, check the new avatar pic and see why we cant lose!
IDBillzFan Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Thats true Smizzy, not all Jets fans are idiots. Just the ones that back stab a fellow Jet fan on a Bills website. Whats the matter, not enough a$$ for you to kiss at work so you gotta come here to get your quota ?857643[/snapback] CRIPPLE FIGHT!
5 Wide Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Thats true Smizzy, not all Jets fans are idiots. Just the ones that back stab a fellow Jet fan on a Bills website. Whats the matter, not enough a$$ for you to kiss at work so you gotta come here to get your quota ? Smizzy, I have read some of your posts on JN and lets just say that well.......you post ALOT. Anyway, the only purpose of my visit was to have some fun and most of you guys/gals got it. Bills fans are great, I enjoy your passion for the team. Guffalo's posts were pretty damn funny stuff. I showed my wife and she got a good laugh from it. I will only post again Sunday night after the game so if you win you will have another shot at this old Jet fan ! (or vica versa) I sincerly hope no Bill or Jet player is injured and it is a well played game. Good luck, Phil PS, check the new avatar pic and see why we cant lose! 857643[/snapback] come on now, don't leave I was warming up some new material
Guffalo Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I will only post again Sunday night after the game so if you win you will have another shot at this old Jet fan ! (or vica versa) I sincerly hope no Bill or Jet player is injured and it is a well played game. Good luck, Phil PS, check the new avatar pic and see why we cant lose! 857643[/snapback] Keep your infighting and inbreeding to yourselves, however, I am just warming up, I was made aware of the extra special event that you were invited to regarding the "Jets Fan of the week" I will be sure to chronicle the event as it unfolds, I live nearby the Jets practice and will be able to cover the action as it happens.
5 Wide Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Keep your infighting and inbreeding to yourselves, however, I am just warming up, I was made aware of the extra special event that you were invited to regarding the "Jets Fan of the week" I will be sure to chronicle the event as it unfolds, I live nearby the Jets practice and will be able to cover the action as it happens. 857707[/snapback] I found a pic of Long Island Phil accepting his Jet Fan of the Week Award.... It's a proud day in Jersey
Guffalo Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I found a pic of Long Island Phil accepting his Jet Fan of the Week Award....It's a proud day in Jersey 857734[/snapback] We have the account here, sorry for the length, I felt it was important to capture the emotion of the day..... "Sweat lingered on his brow as he pulled the high tuned Honda off Hempstead turnpike onto the Hofstra campus, Phil's fingers griipped the wheel as he pulled up to the guard shack. The silver buckle of the guards belt was at eye level as he rolled down the window. "Name?" barked the belt buckle owner. "Umm I'm Phil the Jets Phan, you know, the Jets #1 fan of the week?" The guard waddled back to the shack and and perused a clipboard. With a gap toothed smile and a weak wristed wave of his wrist, the barrier rose and PhilPhan entered the sacred grounds of Jets camp. Pulling into the parking spot labeled # 1 Jets fan, Phil's stomach did a double flip when he looked at the nameplate on the parking space next to him "E. Mangini HC of the NYJ". He glanced at the black and white cadillac with the funny orange front bumper and odd striping, he reminisced about playing batman as a child. He stepped up and out of his trusty Honda steed and walked past the car of the HC of the NYJ. Looking up at the inflated practice dome, he felt his knees weaken knowing that this #1 fan was so close to nirvana. As he headed towards the main building housing the Jets temporary offices, he could peer through the glass doors and see movement inside, a glint of silver passed from the left. Passing through the doors he looked in the direction of the silver movement and could make out Curtis Martin lumbering by on crutches. He stopped on the green and white marble floor and stood before the receptionist. "May I help you sir?" The sweet voice carressed his ears as he looked among the tendrils of hair looking for the face that gave breath to the phrase. He located her painted face, a twisted smirk beneath her bent nose. "Umm, Im Ph..Ph..Ph..Phil the Phan # 1 Phan" he stammerred. "Oh right, call in show or something?" "No, I was selected " Phil said proudly. She stood up and peered left and right, looking suspiciously at him "Are you from the Howard Stern show or something, is this some kind of joke?" She was interrupted by the phone which rang at her desk, she answered it, and looked at Phil while listening to the voice on the other line. "Yes, he just came in, a Chad Pennington dressing room date? uh huh, ok, I'll send him your way" She replaced the phone to the cradle and pointed her painted finger down the hall, "Down to the left, Hall of Heroes, third door." Phil's stomach did a flutter as his feet guided him to the hall of all that is right and good in Jets nation. He located the door, above the door rested a plaque "Dedicated to the Heros of the New York Jets" and below the inscription a faded, sepia toned image of Leon Hess, founder of the Jets peered down at this weeks #1 Phan. The doors creaked open as Phil pushed through them, a long room opened before him. Adjusting to the light Phil could make out at the end of the long room stood an altar with a floor to ceiling green velvet shroud trimmed with white faux fur. Along the walls leading to the altar were portaits of past heroes like Burkett, Nagle, Cowart, and Testeverde, Phil felt light headed in the presence of such greatness. He was drawn to the altar, he approached and stood at the base. Before him lay a pair of oversized footballs embedded in the floor, between them a long, rounded wooden shaft was affixed. From the top end of the shaft another football was mounted, pointing skyward. Carved into the wooden shaft was the current owners last name. A voice boomed overhead "Thou shall rub the Woody Johnson to open the chamber" Phil looked skyward seeking the voice, it boomed again, startling Phil "Thou shall rub the Woody Johnson to open the chamber". Like the cowardly lion Phil started to tremble like virgin at a Club Med toga party. The voice changed tone and pleaded "Cmon Phil, rub the woody, we gotta get to practice already" Phil reached out and placed his hands on the woody johnson and cranked it towards him, looking at the velvet curtain he noticed it twitching, he repeated the movement on the woody johnson and again noticed the cutain begin to open. He furiously pulled and tugged and thrust the mechanism until the curtain parted slowly, as the johnson fell to the floor a puff of smoke eased out of the football at the top of the staff. Phil looked upon the altar, there before him lie Chad Pennington, dressed in a cutoff T-shirt and a pair of body armor green shorts. He lingered and drank in the moment, he trembled at the sight of "the chosen one" Chad beckoned him to the uppermost section of the altar, he addressed PhilPhan " You must prepare me for battle " Phil looked around, and noticed the practice uniform which lay on the bench next to Pennington. He selected the garments wisely and reverently placed them upon the chosen one. He as he slipped the pads over the shoulder, Phil carressed the right shoulder to pass on good luck and strength to the warrior. When the dressiing ceremony was completed, Chad looked at Phil and nodded and the walked off to the practice field, Phil wept. The next thing Phil remembers is standing in the cold parking lot, spent and weakened. He wandered over to the chain link fence and peered in to see the chosen one just one more time, there before him stood Pennington, in the prctice gear that he had so lovingly placed on his God-like body. Pennington winked and mouthed the words "Thank You Phil" The phan named phil, sat back in his Honda, closed his eyes and embraced the lasting image of his chosen one. He felt warm inside.
nhbillsfan Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 TREMENDOUS! they do say one picture is worth a thousand passes to Fire island.
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