ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Finally a subject you are qualified to comment on! 853455[/snapback] Well, I equated the hands to women. It's called an analogy. Sometimes when men make the mistake of introducing a second woman "into the mix" the women both lose their interest in him. At that point the men have to send their women to me to have me "re-kindle" the womens interest in the male. The rest is all a trade secret. I have made a lot of money. For clarification I should point out three additional items. First, all the money in the world, and I think I have 14% of it, cannot buy happiness. I miss Sammy with all my heart. Second, Lee really threw me for a loop. I was performing my services for her, or so I thought, but it turn out to be a two way street on that one. I am back to normal and expect to never have that experience again. Finally, I don't do Canadians. The men are way too dumb to understand what I teach and the women are so ugly that I cannot come up with a realistic billing schedule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Finally, I don't do Canadians. The men are way too dumb to understand what I teach and the women are so ugly that I cannot come up with a realistic billing schedule. 853469[/snapback] And they apparently store their milk in a bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 And they apparently store their milk in a bag. 853478[/snapback] Well, the women do anyway. If you want to get technical, it's called an udder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nixon Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 You should put this on your resume because it'll be really impressive: Patientce is a vertue I dont imply. Once he sees that, I'm sure you'll get the job. 853000[/snapback] Wouldn't that be cheating on his resume? Maybe he should list his temptations, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 And they apparently store their milk in a bag. 853478[/snapback] Any interest in being an apprentice? I can describe an upcoming contract and see if it appeals to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Any interest in being an apprentice? I can describe an upcoming contract and see if it appeals to you. 853493[/snapback] do I get a light saver? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 do I get a light saver? 853499[/snapback] Don't get ahead of yourself. Here's the deal. I'm going to use code names because many of my clients are well known celebrities. A client of mine, code name K-Ted, is getting a divorce from his wife, code name Ritney. K-Ted says he wants the kids but all he really wants is money. A third person, call her London Marriott, has been hanging out with Ritney lately. London is very "skilled". So K-Ted wants to catch Ritney in the act with London and a guy. He figures he can use the tape to get money from Ritney. K-Ted pays, up front, to have this "session" take place. He wants to be outside the window taping. What K-Ted doesn't know is that Ritney is already a client. I let her know the deal, and after the "session" K-Ted will be knocked out cold and we will switch tapes on him. Ritney has more money than K-Ted and will pay big. She also pays up front. What Ritney doesn't know is that London Marriott is also a client. London wants the session taped so that she can hold it over Ritney's head for a long time. Another tape will be rolling and I'll end up paid by all three. Ritney and K-Ted won't want to look as dumb as Canadians so they'll clam up. As you can see your performance will be critical to our success. Are you up for it? If so, let me know and I'll provide more details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 London wants the session taped so that she can hold it over Ritney's head for a long time. As you can see your performance will be critical to our success. Are you up for it? If so, let me know and I'll provide more details. 853511[/snapback] I'll hold the tape as long as I can, but my arms tend to tire easily. Ritney's not too tall is he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 I'll hold the tape as long as I can, but my arms tend to tire easily. Ritney's not too tall is he? 853516[/snapback] Good thinking but you got it all wrong. By tape I meant video tape. And even that is just a slang term. The technology I use is well beyond tape. You'd be watching Ritney's kids during the original "session". The good news is that you'd get to be a performer in the tape we swap in when K-Ted is knocked out cold. You might even get to use a light saver in that scene. Whaddya say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Good thinking but you got it all wrong. By tape I meant video tape. And even that is just a slang term. The technology I use is well beyond tape. You'd be watching Ritney's kids during the original "session". The good news is that you'd get to be a performer in the tape we swap in when K-Ted is knocked out cold. You might even get to use a light saver in that scene. Whaddya say? 853527[/snapback] As long as the children aren't harmed in any way I'm in. I want the blue saver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly the Dog Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 I am just too anxious like a kid waiting for Christmas. Anyone have any comments, advice, etc.? 852691[/snapback] Pretend you're a Jew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Pretend you're a Jew. 853548[/snapback] Or a Canadian. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving so probably not Christmas either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Fong Posted December 6, 2006 Author Share Posted December 6, 2006 Well I had the interview today. Everything seemed to go really well. We seemed to really be on the same page. However, they had some more people to interview and they'd get back with me no later than Monday. So looks like another weekend of jangled nerves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffan00 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Well I had the interview today. Everything seemed to go really well. We seemed to really be on the same page. However, they had some more people to interview and they'd get back with me no later than Monday. So looks like another weekend of jangled nerves. 858801[/snapback] Well good luck with that and keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Fong Posted December 6, 2006 Author Share Posted December 6, 2006 Well good luck with that and keep us posted! 858807[/snapback] Thanks bro. Hope everything is well with you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Fong Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Well I got the job. I will be celebrating tomorrow night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Well I got the job. I will be celebrating tomorrow night. 860782[/snapback] Glad to hear you got the Fire Chief Job in Kentucky. BTW, look out for those cross dressers from Alabama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackur Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 congratz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts