The Tomcat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 This is a running theme in our family. My brother and sister-in-law have been spying on their 16 year old daughter for years. They were getting pretty high tech and spending a boat load of time trying to monitor her life. They just recently found out she was having sex, shocking for a 16 year I know, and went off the deep end. They pretty much want to have the lock and key to her body and as we all know this is not the way to go about it. Forcing teens to do anything will almost always get you the opposite reaction and I can only imagine how ugly it will get now that their whole spying ordeal is out in the open. I would be shocked if she is still living with them in 18 months. As a parent, I would hope to instill good enough values that would keep my kids out of harms way. Having sex at 16 is not exactly strange behavior. 837746[/snapback] I'd have no problem if he was having sex....which he isn't.....I'd want to know to make sure he'd wrap that rascle.......and yes I'd had that conversation with him many times.....
The Tomcat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 Have you talked to your son about these conversations yet? 837694[/snapback] Yes many times....
The Tomcat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 I know that MSN Messenger will actually save all of your conversations if you turn the option on. It saves them all to a teperary folder that you can access after. I don't know anything about AOL (I'm in Canada, No one uses AOL here) 837718[/snapback] Thats really what I was looking for....I don't want to go all James Bond on him....just wanted to make sure I stear him away from trouble thats all......I'm not going to tell he can't talk with his friends (even if I don't like them) that would only make him do it more....I'm pretty loose as a parent, I don't want to control him, I just want to contain him.....
dib Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 you do realize that the girl in your AV is somebody's daughter 837680[/snapback] I'll tell her father.
drnykterstein Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 yeah when i have kids i'll definately install keyloggers and have my router log everything they do. ... and I'll tell my kids that i'm logging everything they do on the internet. goodness, i first discovered the "internet" in 9th grade.. good thing my dad didn't even know how to check the browser history.
The Tomcat Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 yeah when i have kids i'll definately install keyloggers and have my router log everything they do. ... and I'll tell my kids that i'm logging everything they do on the internet. goodness, i first discovered the "internet" in 9th grade.. good thing my dad didn't even know how to check the browser history. 837848[/snapback] I've told him already I'm able to see everything he does online......I know he's not going to porn sites or anything like that...yet.
KD in CA Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Bash you? Hell no. I've never understood this concept that kids have rights. No, they don't. There is a lot to be said for respecting their privacy and giving them space, but if you feel something is wrong with a kid that age it's your job to do whatever you can to find out about it. 837658[/snapback] Yup. When I was about 13 I screamed at my Dad one day "you don't own me!". His reply: "I sure as hell DO!!" End of conservation.
drnykterstein Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 well if you want to be even more snoopy-like... this is a great keylogger, you can track pretty much everything they type. http://home.rochester.rr.com/artcfox/TinyKL/index.html
/dev/null Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Tell Foley to stop chatting with your kids. 837647[/snapback] And Meazza
aussiew Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 You know most of this wouldn't be an issue if all parents followed the #1 rule to keep your children safe on the internet....don't put a PC in their room. Put it in a public area of the house. I've watched so many shows on this subject and most parents have no idea what their kids are really doing. Don't be afraid to be a parent - your childrens' safety depends on your protection.
taterhill Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 i have no problem with my kid on the internet
justnzane Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I've told him already I'm able to see everything he does online......I know he's not going to porn sites or anything like that...yet. 838047[/snapback] lol... is that because he is finding your stash of 70's porn mags?
Bungee Jumper Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Yes many times.... 837757[/snapback] In that case...I have no opinion. If you hadn't talked to him about it, I'd vilify you up and down the board, but beyond that I think it simply comes down to two things: how much do you trust your kid, and how much do you want your kid to trust you? Because it IS an invasion of privacy you're talking about, and your son almost certainly will resent it. You have to weigh his resentment (which only you can estimate) against your peace of mind knowing what he's up to (which only you can estimate). No one else can answer that for you...obviously...
taterhill Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 In that case...I have no opinion. If you hadn't talked to him about it, I'd vilify you up and down the board, but beyond that I think it simply comes down to two things: how much do you trust your kid, and how much do you want your kid to trust you? Because it IS an invasion of privacy you're talking about, and your son almost certainly will resent it. You have to weigh his resentment (which only you can estimate) against your peace of mind knowing what he's up to (which only you can estimate). No one else can answer that for you...obviously... 838319[/snapback] you have kids?
Bungee Jumper Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 you have kids? 838322[/snapback] Of course not...but I was one. With parents. It's pretty bloody obvious, parent or no, that talking to your kids before snooping on them is better than snooping before talking. Beyond that...I wouldn't judge. And I didn't mean to sound like I was judging, or imply, either, that one shouldn't invade their child's privacy, or that one must try to maintain their child's trust. Just to say that 1) the reality, for better or worse, is that he IS talking about an invasion of privacy that can lead to some level of mistrust, and 2) his comfort level with such in his relationship with his son is only something he can judge... ...and probably the central point here. If he were perfectly comfortable snooping, he'd have done so. If he were perfectly uncomfortable, he wouldn't and wouldn't even mention it. That he has to ask is a pretty clear indication that he realizes it's a privacy and trust issue, and isn't quite sure how much of his son's privacy and trust he's willing to risk here.
sweetbaboo Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Deadaim logs everything by username and date
The Tomcat Posted November 16, 2006 Author Posted November 16, 2006 You know most of this wouldn't be an issue if all parents followed the #1 rule to keep your children safe on the internet....don't put a PC in their room. Put it in a public area of the house. I've watched so many shows on this subject and most parents have no idea what their kids are really doing. Don't be afraid to be a parent - your childrens' safety depends on your protection. 838220[/snapback] The computer is NOT in his bedroom......and I'm not afraid to be the parent believe me...
The Tomcat Posted November 16, 2006 Author Posted November 16, 2006 i have no problem with my kid on the internet 838277[/snapback] Me either...
daquixers_is_back Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 you do realize that the girl in your AV is somebody's daughter 837680[/snapback] Thats exactly what I was thinking ... and always think when people post pictures of nearly naked females on this board.
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