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Subject: Men vs Women DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

 

40-ish...................................49.

Adventurous...........................Slept with everyone.

Athletic.................................No breasts.

Average looking.....................Moooo.

Beautiful................................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure...............On medication.

Feminist...............................Fat.

Free spirit.............................Junkie.

Friendship first......................Former slut.

New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.......................No B low Jobs.

Open-minded........................Desperate.

Outgoing...............................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional...... ...................B word.

Voluptuous...... ....................Very Fat.

Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate.................Stalker.

 

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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MEN'S ENGLISH:

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

807824[/snapback]

 

:P

its funny cuz its true :doh:

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