E-HM Algo Rhythm and beta test

[ieatcrayonz]

Ok team, I have some up with the 30 traits from our experiment in the other thread as well as some outside input. Bill is working on the Algo Rhythm. it should be ready to go Monday or Tuesday. For now, if you want to be part of the beta answer these 30 questions. If you can't answer them all answer as many as you can.

 

1. What is your favorite color?

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite?

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart?

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference.

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days???

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we?

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye?

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes?

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch.

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit.

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo?

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be?

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.)

 

14. How intense is too intense?

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone.

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white?

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate.

 

18. What is your favorite position?

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended.

 

20. Where is here?

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of?

 

22. Who's the boss?

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there?

 

24. Huh?

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun.

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why.

 

27. What is your favorite restraint?

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore?

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended.

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks.

 

As you'll note I have put an asterik near the sexual questions.

 

Thanks for all of the input. Now let's keep the spirit going as we set out to kick E-Harmony's butt.

[dib]

where is my burro/burrito question?

[Cugalabanza]

1. What is your favorite color? dark grey

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? sunday

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? i have no idea. i've never even considered looking into that. if i had to guess, i'd say it was in the "normal" range

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference. none

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days??? birds are pretty

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? hells no

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye? nope

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes? D. Gooey stuff, etc...

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. I'd throw the caramel in the trash, superglue David Hasselhoff's nutsack to the bumber of his little sand buggy and put it in gear. Then I'd proceed to have sex with the 8 best-looking female lifeguards

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit. No. Ok. Got it.

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? maybe

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? Capt. TJ Boathousephilanderer

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.) I'll take my pet (dog: billie)

 

14. How intense is too intense? (Ultra X-treme is too intense)

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. beat 'em up & sold their teeth on ebay

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? god works in mysterious ways, charlie!

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate. fountain of youth, my ass!

 

18. What is your favorite position? the brooklyn unicycle bukkake trick

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. yes and no

 

20. Where is here? everwhere except "there" i suspect

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of? two

 

22. Who's the boss? tony danzig

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? carnegie hall. practice practice practice

 

24. Huh? hi, how ya doin'?

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun. i feel let down

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why. coffee. it's nice.

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? good taste

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? the internet

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended. Not objectively true. It's just a feature of how human beings need to experience regularity in the world.

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks. It only hooks me up with ugly chicks.

[dib]

22. Who's the boss? tony danzig

 

Danzig?

[nick in* england]

1. What is your favorite color? Pantone 145

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? Sunday

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? N2O2CH4

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference. Left Arm

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days??? Mango

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? Spit

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye? On the weekend.

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes? A combination of C and D

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. I'd make a tiny model air plane and fit it inside a glass bottle.

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit. Widget.

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? Yes - Tigi Manipulator.

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? King Archibald IV of Lower Luffgroundistan.

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.) Pet.

 

14. How intense is too intense? Stares that last just beyond when is necessary.

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. I fart in their general direction.

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? The government adds white dye to water that only reacts with lather. Shampoos are differemt colours to defy the governments aims to control all the suds.

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Poncey, happy birthday to you.

18. What is your favorite position? Up and to the left.

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. If you're buying, I am drinking.

 

20. Where is here? Ware

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of? 15,467,840

 

22. Who's the boss? Springsteen

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? Down the end of the road on foot.

 

24. Huh? Wuh?

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun. Violent Agreement.

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why. Coffee Tea

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? Ball Gag

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? The door was open

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended. It's something to do with blood and viagara.

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks. Who is E-Harmony? Is she related to b.harami?

[aussiew]

1. What is your favorite color? Blue

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? Saturday in the summer, Sunday during football season

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? n/a (women don't do this)

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference. The pump

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days??? Who the !@#$ cares?

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? Yuk!

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye? Nothing fake on me

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes?

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

None of the above - take the darn car to Midas

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. I'd wish all the girls to gain 60 pounds. I'd keep the super glue for my nails. The caramel?

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit. The VP of Sales is usually better looking.

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? No, it's Jamaican Rum

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? Mutt B word

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.)My finger. I need fingers more than my 17 year old cat.

 

14. How intense is too intense? Ultra intense

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. I faxed him the signed court order to pay me half of his 401k money on his birthday.

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? I'm amazed at who actually thought of it.

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate.Who cares

 

18. What is your favorite position? Right tackle - 1990

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. A lady never tells

 

20. Where is here? Right there!

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of? 3

 

22. Who's the boss? Whoever is carrying the whip

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? Crazy.

 

24. Huh? Ugh

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun. I wouldn't even waste thinking time on that garbage

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why. You, because you're cute

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? Leather.

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? They use the door bell

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended. Huh? Anyone over 50 knows that one....gravity.

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks. It sends me Nerds who can't talk about football.

[The Avenger]

22. Who's the boss?  tony danzig

 

Danzig?

790064[/snapback]

 

 

Yeah, you know that dude who used to be in the Misfits before starting his own band - looks kinda like if Elvis and Satan had a kid together.....

[erynthered]

This reads like one of those Cosmopolitan magazine things my wife used to try and make my take 18 years ago.

 

 

Fag.

[ieatcrayonz]

This reads like one of those Cosmopolitan magazine things my wife used to try and make my take 18 years ago.

Fag.

790216[/snapback]

I understand that you're married and don't need a dating service but many people are in need.

 

Can you please fill out the form and help our startup company? You can be part of it and make big $. We all understand that we are bilking suckers out of their money. We are working together to do it.

 

If you fill out the form it will help Bill perfect his algo rhythm. He says he hasn't had this much fun since the pre-IPO days. If he can fins a Hollywood match for even you we'll know he's got it down.

[/dev/null]

1. What is your favorite color? Black

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? Saturday

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? Beer, Pizza, and Burritos

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference. Blowup doll

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days??? Ask Paris Hilton

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? No, but if you'll swallow tobaccy juice i got something salty for ya

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye? No, but you can kiss my big brown eye

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes?

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

A precise balance of A and D

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. I'd super glue a camcorder to David Hasseloff mouth (so he doesn't sing) and make him video tape Pamela Anderson, myself, and the caramel

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit. Bite Me

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? See Question #9, RE caramel

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? Dog Vader

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.) pet

 

14. How intense is too intense? Too much just ain't enough

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. Water based lubricant, a metal rooster ring, and some electric current. Remember the 2003 blackout? Yeah, sorry about that. Kinda went overboard

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? All shampoo is just repackaged Grecian Formula, which harvested from the bedsheets of the Greek navy

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate. how did you find me? dammit, i hate it when i give out a phony name to a hookup but giver my real phone number by mistake

 

18. What is your favorite position? Depends how many women are involved

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. No, there are other websites for that

 

20. Where is here? The universe is always in motion, so when I say where here is now it is different from where here is when you read this because here is somewhere over there

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of? This is best answered by watching that home movie I made with Paris Hilton

 

22. Who's the boss? Lumberg, yeah great

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? I'd take a Stairway to Heaven

 

24. Huh? I didn't say anything, that was Peter Frampton's guitar

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun.They are part of the vast global middle-right-upper wing conspiracy dedicated to global conquest. Which is why their packages are bullet-proof. It is rumored that several prominant TSW'ers are among the grandmasters of the conspiracy

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why. Teabag...you. It'll shut you up

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? a chain, a car battery, and a remote control

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? Why knock when you can just text a message on MySpace® Mobile

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended. I don't care what floor she lives on, when we're done I'll be down the stairs and out the door

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks.That creepy weird guy on the commercials talking on about the 69 positions of compatability prolly hasn't gotten laid since the Truman Administration

[ieatcrayonz]

Gatesy says the Algo Rhythm is coming along nicely. I've seen him like this before. The last time he worked like this he became pretty famous and very rich.

 

He says it won't be as easy to fool single morons desperate for attention as it was to fool IBM, but he still thinks it'll be pretty easy.

 

Anyway, fill out the form so we have more data. Thanks.

[stevestojan]

My answer to every question is: bukkake.

[inkman]

My answer to every question is: bukkake.

790554[/snapback]

 

Nothing like the degradation and demeaning of women through blowing man love on their faces. Then again, I gues they know what they are getting into.

[stevestojan]

Nothing like the degradation and demeaning of women through blowing man love on their faces.  Then again, I gues they know what they are getting into. 

790556[/snapback]

 

I always thought those men and women were in love....

 

Either way, my answer remains the same.

[Beerball]

Ok team, I have some up with the 30 traits from our experiment in the other thread as well as some outside input.  Bill is working on the Algo Rhythm.  it should be ready to go Monday or Tuesday.  For now, if you want to be part of the beta answer these 30 questions.  If you can't answer them all answer as many as you can.

 

1. What is your favorite color? pasta

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? early morning

 

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? 90% methane, 10% crayonz

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference.  aussie knows best

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days???  I think the pope is keeping them on a tight leash.

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we?  Harriet rules

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye?  Yes

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes? 

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotesD. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch.  aussie knows best

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit.  Black coffee

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? There's a hair in my dirt.

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? T-bone

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.)  I think pets are overrated

 

14. How intense is too intense? pasta

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. pasta

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? racism

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon.  Please elaborate. the fountain of youth is located in your mind

18. What is your favorite position? Left tackle

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. generally speaking, yes

 

20.  Where is here? pasta

 

(*)21.  How many uses of ammonia can you think of?  pasta

 

22. Who's the boss? AiO

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? I would walk to roam

24. Huh? pasta

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun. cheap entertainment

 

26. Coffee Tea or me?  And why. you big boy, you know why

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? pasta

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? it's impolite to knock someone

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down.  Explain.  Again, no pun intended. drugs ware off

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks. not enough pasta

 

As you'll note I have put an asterik near the sexual questions.  pasta

 

Thanks for all of the input.  Now let's keep the spirit going as we set out to kick E-Harmony's butt.

789963[/snapback]

[Draconator]

1. What is your favorite color? - Red

 

2. What day of the week is your favorite? - Sunday, but only during the months of September through January.

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? - Forget molecular composition. Are there gas masks nearby?

 

(*)4. Please describe your prosthetic limb preference. - Leg, as to hide my 12 pack whilst going into a baseball game

 

5. How are the Cardinals doing these days??? - Ask the Pope

 

6. We're not talking tobaccy juice are we? - Quit all tobacco products 6 months ago. Gained a few extra pounds in the process.

 

(*)7. Do you have a glass eye? - Glass isn't my favorite eye activity.

 

8. What is the best way to fix an auto's brakes?

A. Work on them with pliers and wrenches and other tools.

B. Replace all the parts

C. Write the company with inane anecdotes

D. Gooey stuff, elevation and sweet old time.

 

E - Pay an mechanic to do it.

 

(*)9. Please describe what you'd do with caramel, super glue and the cast of Baywatch. - Super glue who be for the guys mouths to shut them up. Caramel + Baywatch Girls + plastic + me = FUN FUN FUN!!!

 

10. If you are kissing up to get the VP of Operations title just keep going. And get me my coffee right now. Black. Please respond as you see fit. - Would the VP title involve testing the flexibility of the hotter female applicants? If so, where would you like your coffee to come from sir? Starbucks, Peets, or Juan Valdez directly?

 

11. Your hair tastes different. Did you change your brand of shampoo? - Shampoo?

 

12. If you were a dog what would your name be? - Pesky

 

(*)13. If you had to choose between your pet or one of your fingers, which would it be, and why? (And, no, you don't get to pick which finger we're talking about.) - Fingers! Pets cannot pick my nose.

 

14. How intense is too intense? - When your head starts to spin without alcohol

 

15. Give me an example of how you got revenge on someone. - I'm too much of a reactionary personality to think of a thought out revenge factor.

 

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white? - Again. Shampoo?

 

(*)17. Yes...happy birthday, Juan Ponce de Leon. Please elaborate. - He got the fountain of youth. Maybe my wife would like to try a sample?

 

18. What is your favorite position? - 69

 

19. Do you come here often? No pun intended. - Yes. Sometimes no.

 

20. Where is here? - "Because were here. Roll The Bones".

 

(*)21. How many uses of ammonia can you think of? - 1. Cleaning.

 

22. Who's the boss? - If you really want your female partner to do something kinky, she's ALWAYS the boss. (But you get the satisfaction.)

 

23. If you could fly, where would you go and how would you get there? - Toronto and Vancouver. I would just put my arms to my side and jump.

 

24. Huh? - Huh, huh, huh, hump, huh. Signed, Beavis.

 

25. Please describe everything you feel about Capri Sun. - Works in a pinch.

 

26. Coffee Tea or me? And why. - Are you a flexible female? No? Coffee with lots of non-fat milk please.

 

27. What is your favorite restraint? One that keeps wrists and ankles far apart from each other!

 

28. Why doesn't anybody knock anymore? - Because America has become ignorant to the simple act of politeness.

 

(*)29. What goes up must come down. Explain. Again, no pun intended. - Laws of nature I would guess...

 

30. Describe why E-Harmony just plain sucks. - Ever seen some of those couples that get together on that T.V. ad? EWWWWW!!!!!!

[ieatcrayonz]

Bill did it again. His algo rhythm is done. He is such an overachiever. Not only will it match up those who filled out surveys with the Hollywood star of their dreams, it has also gone out and proactively surveyed the posts of other TBDers to get a profile. It will match them up too.

[ieatcrayonz]

12. If you were a dog what would your name be?  Capt. TJ Boathousephilanderer

 

790045[/snapback]

The Algo Rhythm is based on all 30 questions but because Bill is such a genius, he hones in on one as a look into the deepest reaches of your being. I will highlight these questions when revealing your soul mate.

 

Remeber, this is only a beta.

 

It's the chick, not the dude.

[ieatcrayonz]

(*)16. What is your theory on the fact that no matter what color your shampoo is, the lather is always white?  The government adds white dye to water that only reacts with lather.  Shampoos are differemt colours to defy the governments aims to control all the suds.

790083[/snapback]

Don't trust her, or anyone else

[ieatcrayonz]

3. When you pass gas, what is the molecular composition of said fart? n/a (women don't do this)

790154[/snapback]

Truthful answers matter