Gregg Easterbrook predicts Bills to win Super Bowl

[JÂy RÛßeÒ]

well maybe...

Now to my Super Bowl pick. In each of its previous six years of existence, TMQ has offered the generic forecast, "The team goin' to Disney World will come from among the group that did not make the cut for 'Monday Night Football.'" Two of the first three years I made this generic prediction, I was right -- the Ravens in 2000 and Patriots in 2001, Super Bowl victors, did not appear on "Monday Night Football." (The Rams won in 1999 after not appearing on Monday night, but there was no TMQ that season.) In 2003, my prediction came oh so close -- Carolina, not a Monday night baby, lost the Super Bowl on the final snap. Two years ago, my prediction came oh so close -- Pittsburgh and Atlanta, half of the conference championship round, were not Monday night babies. Last year was a washout, with all championship-round teams being Monday night entrants. Anyway, my generic formula is 2-for-6 in forecasting Lombardi Trophy winners. Remember, invariably I am picking losing teams the league braintrust believes have absolutely zero chance.

 

This year the hill has never been harder to climb. With more "Monday Night Football" diversity, the list of non-Monday teams has dwindled to Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Kansas City, San Francisco and Tennessee. That's a sorry, no-account bunch. Perhaps I should abandon my generic Super Bowl prediction. Yet, the football gods sayeth thus to mortals: Dance with the one what brung ya. A lackluster guy takes you to the dance, but he picks you up in a washed car and brings you a nosegay. At the dance there's some flashy guy who makes a move on you. But if he's so great, why doesn't he already have a date? Dance with the one what brung ya! This is football wisdom at its most primal. Thus I will not stray from my generic prediction: Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Kansas City, San Francisco or Tennessee will win the Super Bowl. If the league braintrust thinks they are all awful, one of them must be good. I'll stand with my generic Super Bowl forecast, even though the teams in question are, at this writing, 2-12.

 

Other Bills items in TMQ:

In other football news, fortune favors the bold! Trailing Buffalo 13-0 in their home opener, the Dolphins faced a fourth-and-1 on their own 40 at the end of the third quarter. As the punt unit trotted onto the field, TMQ thought, "This has got to be a fake. No self-respecting high school team would punt in this situation." I was sure the up-back would creep toward the line as if counting defenders, then put his hands under center, take the snap and plunge straight ahead. Skies darkened and lightning flashed above my house as the football gods showed their displeasure when the Miami punter swung his leg. As punishment for this ultra-fraidy-cat call, the football gods caused the punt to be blocked; Miami went on to lose 16-6. Down by two touchdowns at home, one yard to go on your own 40 -- you can't seriously be punting! Which leads to the question of whether football teams should ever punt -- a question that will be the subject of an upcoming column.

 

We're All Professionals Here No. 2: Miami staged a 14-play, 80-yard drive that resulted in no points. Through the preseason and two regular-season games, Daunte Culpepper has one touchdown pass in 112 attempts.

 

Best Purist Drives: Buffalo ran on eight consecutive downs during one drive, six consecutive downs during another drive; both possessions resulted in field goals.

 

Bills Try Innovative New Tactic -- Put Everyone on IR: Last week Buffalo general manager Marv Levy placed veteran leader Troy Vincent, who has a minor injury, into an injured reserve category which specifies that he cannot return to the Bills in 2006, but can become a free agent once healed. The result is that Buffalo will pay Vincent his $2.6 million salary for the season -- as a vested veteran, his 2006 contract terms became guaranteed when he was on the opening-day roster -- yet may join another team this fall. Vincent might even end up playing against the Bills, with Buffalo paying him to do so! It might be that the Bills think Vincent's 15-year career is finished, and have essentially given him a $2.6 million severance in respect for his accomplishments. (Vincent is president of the NFLPA and among the league's most-admired people.) The alternative explanation is that Levy is lining up excuses -- "We were clobbered by injuries, no wonder we went 4-12." Setting expectations low is a time-honored exercise in the NFL. Early on, every coach complains about what a killer schedule his team faces, though it cannot be that everyone's schedule is harder than everyone else's. Complaining is part of the expectations game: if the team does poorly then the killer schedule can be blamed, whereas if the team does well, the coach must be a genius for overcoming the killer schedule! If by December the Bills are in the doghouse, listen to see if Levy says, "Well, if we hadn't lost Troy after the first game …"

[BuffOrange]

I was right! too lazy too quote the article, but it's in there. Saban is a fraidy cat.

[Lurker]

"The alternative explanation is that Levy is lining up excuses..."

 

I love to read Easterbrook's work, but he's full of Shiet on this one. I just look at the TV move as a way for the coaching staff to gracefully get rid of a player they didn't want on the roster who happened to be a personal favorite of the owner for the past two years.

 

Win-win.

[nobody]

What about his usual 'punt early go for it late' statement. I'm pretty sure he usually thinks the end of the 3rd is still early.

[Golden Wheels]

That's "kick in early, go for it late" as in field goals, not punts.

[Lurker]

What about his usual 'punt early go for it late' statement.  I'm pretty sure he usually thinks the end of the 3rd is still early.

780473[/snapback]

 

Year by year, Easterbrook seems to be moving back the yard markers when he thinks it's too conservative to punt the ball away rather than go for it on 4th down. He's back to the 40 yard line on your own side of the field in the 3rd quarter when down by less than two TDs.

 

In a few years, he'll be calling for teams to go for it from their own 20...

[Rubes]

Another tidbit:

 

But every offseason, Chainsaw Dan Snyder must make dramatic changes, if only to get his name in the papers. So Chainsaw Dan declared dramatic changes -- new offensive coordinator, new offensive system, new receiver corps, departure for Robert Royal, the league's best blocking tight end (the Redskins' runners really miss Royal), other changes. Two games into 2006, Washington has two Ls and one offensive touchdown. As Tuesday Morning Quarterback noted in its NFC preview, by the time this season is over, Redskins fans might wish Snyder had simply done nothing in the offseason, leaving well enough alone.

 

Couldn't be....he wasn't high profile enough...

[mary owen]

first off, thank you for clipping out just the Bills stuff....i didn't have to read all his usual non-football drivel.

 

Now as far as coaches complaining about a tough schedule, I have yet to read a quote from an NFL HC about their schedule being too tough. Nit the message a professional coach would send to his team.

 

also, why would someone of Marv's stature (and understanding of the game and injuries) ever make such an assinine excuse. never gonna happen with Marv.

[Acantha]

first off, thank you for clipping out just the Bills stuff....i didn't have to read all his usual non-football drivel.

 

Now as far as coaches complaining about a tough schedule, I have yet to read a quote from an NFL HC about their schedule being too tough. Nit the message a professional coach would send to his team.

 

also, why would someone of Marv's stature (and understanding of the game and injuries) ever make such an assinine excuse. never gonna happen with Marv.

782581[/snapback]

Not a HC, but didn't Al Davis publicly state that he thought the leauge was screwing his team last year because they scheduled their opener on Thursday night in New England?

[duey]

"The alternative explanation is that Levy is lining up excuses..."

 

I love to read Easterbrook's work, but he's full of Shiet on this one.  I just look at the TV move as a way for the coaching staff to gracefully get rid of a player they didn't want on the roster who happened to be a personal favorite of the owner for the past two years. 

 

Win-win.

780395[/snapback]

...and opening up a position for a very talented rookie to get in the starting line up.

[Pyrite Gal]

"The alternative explanation is that Levy is lining up excuses..."

 

I love to read Easterbrook's work, but he's full of Shiet on this one.  I just look at the TV move as a way for the coaching staff to gracefully get rid of a player they didn't want on the roster who happened to be a personal favorite of the owner for the past two years. 

 

Win-win.

780395[/snapback]

 

As i read "alternative explanation" I thought Easterbrook was going to explore the arcane world of options with TV stating that he was designated as on "minor injury IR" rather than the fuller model which was the norm. The options for this seem to fit what he is describing but as there is little experience with the new language in the CBA this actually may be worth reporting on.

 

However, he dove off into this piece of idiocy as THE alternative theory which once again seems be Eastersnook going off into being a legend in his own mind. GE needs to understand that A: Marv really does not need to set up any excuses here because he is almost certainly realizes that he really should not even care a rodent's butt about how the media, Easterbrook or even many fans judge the team's performance or work this season.

 

Ultimately the buck starts and stops with the judgments of his employer and team owner Ralph Wilson. To some extent Ralph cares what his customers think, but as seen by him taking a stance bound to create some embarassment for him as to explaining his CBA vote, cuttin TV to set-up some excuse is simply stupid.

 

Sorry GE, I doubt Marv thinks you or folks who thinklike you are that important that he is setting up now to make excuses no one will accept for poor performance.

[Gary M]

As i read "alternative explanation" I thought Easterbrook was going to explore the arcane world of options with TV stating that he was designated as on "minor injury IR" rather than the fuller model which was the norm.  The options for this seem to fit what he is describing but as there is little experience with the new language in the CBA this actually may be worth reporting on.

 

However, he dove off into this piece of idiocy as THE alternative theory which once again seems be Eastersnook going off into being a legend in his own mind.  GE needs to understand that A: Marv really does not need to set up any excuses here because he is almost certainly realizes that he really should not even care a rodent's butt about how the media, Easterbrook or even many fans judge the team's performance or work this season.

 

Ultimately the buck starts and stops with the judgments of his employer and team owner Ralph Wilson.  To some extent Ralph cares what his customers think, but as seen by him taking a stance bound to create some embarassment for him as to explaining his CBA vote, cuttin TV to set-up some excuse is simply stupid.

 

Sorry GE, I doubt Marv thinks you or folks who thinklike you are that important that he is setting up now to make excuses no one will accept for poor performance.

782820[/snapback]

 

I believe GE is just trying to be entertaining, and I personally found it so.