Tar and Feathers Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Ok. I have a bone to pick with you guys. You Bills fans need better communications when requesting my services. I have had a hell of a past few weeks. First off, i was in New England last week taking part in the Deion Brach saga. Then last weekend, i had to drive across the country out to oakland to take care of jerry porter after the monday night game. After the long week/weekend, i was looking forward to getting some sleep. Then i got the call. It was from Buffalo, and the message contained an address, as per my usual business arrangements. Not being one to turn down a client, i checked out of my hotel in Oakland and hit the road. Now i got the call on tuesday, and hauled across this great land as fast as i could. Late wednesday evening, i arrived at the address i had been given. It was a orange and green house in Orchard Park, with a #21 on the garage door. It also had a banner strung across the front porch that read, "I am the greatest running back in the NFL." However, i looked around and no one was there. No angry crowd patiently awaiting my services, no crazed, insane football fans, hell, there was no leader. No one was at the house. Wanting to figure out what had happend, i placed some calls to my secretary, and some other contacts around the league. I was informed that there had been a crazy mob calling themselves "TSW" at the house on monday and tuesday, but had left early wednesady morning. When i asked why, i found that the mob had left #21's house and was headed to "TKO's" house. Now, i discovered the address of "TKO" and successfully made it on time to be of full use to the mob! It was quite a sight! I only ask you Bills fans, in the future, when making use of my services, to please keep me up to date on who and where i am going to be used at. Please do not become fickle and change your minds when i am on the road. I put a lot of time and energy into my services to keep NFL fans happy around the league, and i cannot stand for this utter waste of my time. If i am called to be used on #21, then please have someone waiting there to use my service, and do not just leave the designated address to go to another players house. In the future, if i do not get proper communication from you Bills fans, i will withdraw my services from this area. Then how will you effectively string one of your players up. I do not want a repeat of this past week's events. One player at a time please. Thank you for your understanding, and i look forward to the Bills and you fans keeping my business booming in the greater buffalo area for the duration of the season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanker Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Just keep at the ready. You'll be called on for real before too long. Remember "the Officials" and there'll always be a place for you here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixxxer Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 LMAO Note: buy a pager. Those come in handy in those type of situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeF Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 You may need your associates, Pitchforks and Torches; Bows and Arrows; Guns and Grenades for this group... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albany,n.y. Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Keep up the good work. I hope you were well compensated for your work last January. If it weren't for you Mike Mularkey might still be our head coach. I also imagine you've financed your kids college education with all those trips you made to the Donahoe house the last 5 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilly Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 If you would, please visit Larry Quinn's house. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Can we keep you on retainer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tar and Feathers Posted September 16, 2006 Author Share Posted September 16, 2006 Can we keep you on retainer? 775083[/snapback] Contact my secretary. For an advance, i can make a group of fans, or the leader of the mob, a Priority customer. For the small fee, thats gives you first access to my services for the week. The priority customer rules are that you must contact me with the appropriate address by sunday night at 11pm. After that time, i process thr orders in which i received them. So if you wish to become a priority customer and do not want to waste money, please contact your mob and make a decision on what player to attack within a few hours of the end of the game on sunday. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts