A Pretty funny joke...

[#89]

got this today

 

 

 

 

Eric was in trouble.

 

He forgot his wedding anniversary and his Allison was really mad.

 

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway

that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE".

 

The next morning Eric got up early and left for work.

 

When his Allison woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough

there was a small box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

 

Confused, Allison put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and

brought the box back in the house.

 

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale...

 

Funeral services for Eric have been scheduled for Friday.

[aussiew]

I liked the Harley joke....

[ans4e64]

I got one too:

 

The Perfect Diet

 

I have a Labrador retriever.

 

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to

check out.

 

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

 

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet

again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital

last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive

care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way

that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is

nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

 

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story.

 

Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food

poisoned me.

 

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

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that was good haha