#89 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 got this today Eric was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his Allison was really mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE". The next morning Eric got up early and left for work. When his Allison woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, Allison put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale... Funeral services for Eric have been scheduled for Friday.
ans4e64 Posted August 1, 2006 Posted August 1, 2006 I got one too: The Perfect Diet I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. 732459[/snapback] that was good haha
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