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Posted

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to

play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and

began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken

to go get the farmer for help!

 

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he

searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to

town with the only tractor.

 

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope

hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

 

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the

chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the

loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the

rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly

forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

 

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the

farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

 

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best

Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and

soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

 

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large

puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down

thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

 

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,

saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral)!

 

When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick

Up Chicks!"

Posted

guess its just my different sense of humor....

 

If it took you five minutes to read thats kinda sad....

 

Maybe you just have to relate to the joke!! ( I don't have

a Harley)

Posted

hey I liked it! especially the "hangy-down thing", yeah ok that didn't come out the way it was intended but i figured I'd give the bastards around here something to have fun with...oops I did it again...ahhh you know what I mean

Posted

Let's see if we can't get this moving in the right direction:

 

A 6-year old boy is sitting on a park bench enjoying a nice day. An old man is taking a stroll through the park, and sits down on the bench also. The old man glances over at the boy and notices that he has a plastic bag with him. Just then, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a candy bar. He quickly unwraps it and stuffs it into his mouth, barely chewing before it's gone. Again, he reaches into the bag and pulls out another candy bar. Same as before, he unwraps it and quickly devours it. At this point, he definitely has the old man's attention. Once again, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a third candy bar. Like the first two, he chomps it down in a couple of bites.

 

The old man is sitting on the bench with a puzzled look on his face, and he says to the little boy, "You know son, you really shouldn't eat all of that chocolate so fast. I don't think it's good for you."

 

The young boy replies, "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old."

 

The old man lets out a chuckle and says, "Really? Wow! And did he eat candy bars just like that?"

 

"Hell no," the boy replied. "But he minded his own !@#$ing business!"

 

<_<

Posted

Actually, I liked the chicken-horse-Harley joke better than the second one.

 

Just my sense of humor, I guess.

 

Mike

Posted
Let's see if we can't get this moving in the right direction:

 

A 6-year old boy is sitting on a park bench enjoying a nice day.  An old man is taking a stroll through the park, and sits down on the bench also.  The old man glances over at the boy and notices that he has a plastic bag with him.  Just then, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a candy bar.  He quickly unwraps it and stuffs it into his mouth, barely chewing before it's gone.  Again, he reaches into the bag and pulls out another candy bar.  Same as before, he unwraps it and quickly devours it.  At this point, he definitely has the old man's attention.  Once again, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a third candy bar.  Like the first two, he chomps it down in a couple of bites.

 

The old man is sitting on the bench with a puzzled look on his face, and he says to the little boy, "You know son, you really shouldn't eat all of that chocolate so fast.  I don't think it's good for you."

 

The young boy replies, "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old."

 

The old man lets out a chuckle and says, "Really?  Wow!  And did he eat candy bars just like that?"

 

"Hell no," the boy replied.  "But he minded his own !@#$ing business!"

 

:D

732026[/snapback]

 

 

Nice. Now thats a joke!

Posted

I got one too:

 

The Perfect Diet

 

I have a Labrador retriever.

 

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to

check out.

 

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

 

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet

again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital

last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive

care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way

that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is

nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

 

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story.

 

Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food

poisoned me.

 

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

Posted
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to

play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and

began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken

to go get the farmer for help!

 

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he

searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to

town with the only tractor.

 

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. 

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope

hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

 

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the

chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the

loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the

rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly

forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

 

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the

farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

 

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best

Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and

soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

 

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large

puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down

thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

 

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,

saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral)!

 

When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick

Up Chicks!"

731941[/snapback]

I guess it's all in the timing. :D

Posted

it amazes me the way these things get around, i just got this e-mail story this morning, we are lessening that 6 degrees of separation

 

I got one too:

 

The Perfect Diet

 

I have a Labrador retriever.

 

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to

check out.

 

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

 

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet

again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital

last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive

care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way

that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is

nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

 

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story.

 

Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food

poisoned me.

 

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

732459[/snapback]

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