The Tomcat Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral)! When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 You are no longer allowed to post jokes. Officially. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catholic Guilt Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I want my 5 minutes back I spent reading that crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOTONE Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Probably one of the worst jokes I have heard in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Tomcat Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 guess its just my different sense of humor.... If it took you five minutes to read thats kinda sad.... Maybe you just have to relate to the joke!! ( I don't have a Harley) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 hey I liked it! especially the "hangy-down thing", yeah ok that didn't come out the way it was intended but i figured I'd give the bastards around here something to have fun with...oops I did it again...ahhh you know what I mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Nothing wrong with a little cheesy humor...it was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Let's see if we can't get this moving in the right direction: A 6-year old boy is sitting on a park bench enjoying a nice day. An old man is taking a stroll through the park, and sits down on the bench also. The old man glances over at the boy and notices that he has a plastic bag with him. Just then, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a candy bar. He quickly unwraps it and stuffs it into his mouth, barely chewing before it's gone. Again, he reaches into the bag and pulls out another candy bar. Same as before, he unwraps it and quickly devours it. At this point, he definitely has the old man's attention. Once again, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a third candy bar. Like the first two, he chomps it down in a couple of bites. The old man is sitting on the bench with a puzzled look on his face, and he says to the little boy, "You know son, you really shouldn't eat all of that chocolate so fast. I don't think it's good for you." The young boy replies, "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old." The old man lets out a chuckle and says, "Really? Wow! And did he eat candy bars just like that?" "Hell no," the boy replied. "But he minded his own !@#$ing business!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Tomcat Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 "Hell no," the boy replied. "But he minded his own !@#$ing business!" 732026[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buckeyemike Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Actually, I liked the chicken-horse-Harley joke better than the second one. Just my sense of humor, I guess. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOTONE Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Let's see if we can't get this moving in the right direction: A 6-year old boy is sitting on a park bench enjoying a nice day. An old man is taking a stroll through the park, and sits down on the bench also. The old man glances over at the boy and notices that he has a plastic bag with him. Just then, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a candy bar. He quickly unwraps it and stuffs it into his mouth, barely chewing before it's gone. Again, he reaches into the bag and pulls out another candy bar. Same as before, he unwraps it and quickly devours it. At this point, he definitely has the old man's attention. Once again, the boy reaches into the bag and pulls out a third candy bar. Like the first two, he chomps it down in a couple of bites. The old man is sitting on the bench with a puzzled look on his face, and he says to the little boy, "You know son, you really shouldn't eat all of that chocolate so fast. I don't think it's good for you." The young boy replies, "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old." The old man lets out a chuckle and says, "Really? Wow! And did he eat candy bars just like that?" "Hell no," the boy replied. "But he minded his own !@#$ing business!" 732026[/snapback] Nice. Now thats a joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USMCBillsFan Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I guess I'm lucky... I'm both.... A Harley owner and ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 ahaha... 3 cheers for the internet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadBuffaloDisease Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I guess I'm lucky... I'm both.... A Harley owner and ...... ...a guy who "mind his own !@#$ing business?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thailog80 Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I guess I'm lucky... I'm both.... A Harley owner and ...... 732182[/snapback] Sucks horsec*ck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live&DieBillsFootball Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I got one too: The Perfect Diet I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacka Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluenews Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I thought the chicken choked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibs Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral)! When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!" 731941[/snapback] I guess it's all in the timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poojer Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 it amazes me the way these things get around, i just got this e-mail story this morning, we are lessening that 6 degrees of separation I got one too: The Perfect Diet I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. 732459[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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