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Posted

Subject: Prayers - female and male

 

FEMALE PRAYER

 

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MALE PRAYER

 

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs

Who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This

Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh--.

Amen.

Posted

MALE PRAYER

 

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs

Who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This

Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh--.

Amen.

727777[/snapback]

One change: I would want her to be able to hear so I would not have to learn how to sign "While you are up, get me a beer!" :D

Posted

This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most.

 

----

 

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep, setting the standards high?

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care

One who thinks before he speaks, we think, just not the way you want us to

One who'll call, not wait for weeks. weeks does not = boyfriend

I pray he's gainfully employed, don't date him if he's not

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. blah, thats all girls see in men - their bank account

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways

Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" use a mirror

I pray that this man will love me to no end, long as you do the same

And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you

Amen. i hate how meg ryan movies put all these idiotic unrealistic thoughts into girls heads

Posted
One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care

727870[/snapback]

:lol:

 

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways

727870[/snapback]

 

In defense of the ladies, there is something they do for us. Something really really great :blink: In fact, that is the only reason I bother with all the bullsh-- of a relationship :D

 

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english

727870[/snapback]

:lol::w00t::huh: could a lady please explain this one? Cuz the only thing that I can think of is, well the closest opening to your mind is your mouth. and well, i don't have a problem with that :unsure:

 

And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you

727870[/snapback]

Men already have a best friend. And that best friend is better at catching things with their mouth :D

Posted
This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most.

727870[/snapback]

Dude, stop at a pharmacy and get an industrial sized bottle of midol. You're a wee bit cranky today.

Posted
This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most.

 

----

 

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep, setting the standards high?

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care

One who thinks before he speaks, we think, just not the way you want us to

One who'll call, not wait for weeks. weeks does not = boyfriend

I pray he's gainfully employed, don't date him if he's not

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. blah, thats all girls see in men - their bank account

Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways

Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" use a mirror

I pray that this man will love me to no end, long as you do the same

And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you

Amen. i hate how meg ryan movies put all these idiotic unrealistic thoughts into girls heads

727870[/snapback]

 

 

Is this post serious? Are you currently in a relationship? My wife had sworn off dating right before we met. Every guy she met was an immature douchebag only concerned about getting as much tail as he could, no matter the source. When an older, mature guy like myself entered the situation, she was stunned at how selfless and thoughtful I was. NO guy her age had ever acted like that before. It's attitudes like yours that gives guys a bad name, and make it immensly difficult for guys without an agenda to interact with women.

Posted
Dude, stop at a pharmacy and get an industrial sized bottle of midol.  You're a wee bit cranky today.

727894[/snapback]

I might have been a little too annoyed by the girl this weekend...
Posted

Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated

 

And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you

727870[/snapback]

 

:unsure:;):P:w00t::lol:

 

Aint these the truth! Especially the madden comment. My girlfriend bought me madden last year and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made. :)

Posted
:unsure:  ;)  :P  :w00t:  :lol:

 

Aint these the truth! Especially the madden comment. My girlfriend bought me madden last year and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made. :)

728091[/snapback]

 

 

:):lol::lol:

 

Mine said the same thing. She actually learned how to play though, which was cool.

Posted
:unsure:  ;)  :P

 

Mine said the same thing. She actually learned how to play though, which was cool.

728099[/snapback]

 

Not mine. Shes likes all of the zelda games and such. Shes dreading august 22 tho. (Not like i neglect her or anything, but she just cant see how she can go to work on a saturday for 8-9 hours and i can go to puhonix's and play madden the entire time shes working)

Posted
Not mine. Shes likes all of the zelda games and such. Shes dreading august 22 tho. (Not like i neglect her or anything, but she just cant see how she can go to work on a saturday for 8-9 hours and i can go to puhonix's and play madden the entire time shes working)

728102[/snapback]

And we'll spend 4 hours doing the whole season, playing the superbowl, just to spend another 4 on the off season.

Posted
And we'll spend 4 hours doing the whole season, playing the superbowl, just to spend another 4 on the off season.

728130[/snapback]

 

Well, thats half the fun right there. Its usually like 5 hrs if you hafta build a new stadium.

 

And we only play the super bowl, because if we played the entire playoffs, you wouldnt make it to the super bowl. :unsure:

 

btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass)

Posted
Well, thats half the fun right there. Its usually like 5 hrs if you hafta build a new stadium.

 

And we only play the super bowl, because if we played the entire playoffs, you wouldnt make it to the super bowl. :unsure:

 

btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass)

728137[/snapback]

Every year we make it appoint to take our time with each season and make it last. And every year season #2 gets simmed straight to the playoffs.

 

p.s. man I wish my girlfriend worked for 8-9 hours on any day. she's always around trying to keep me from the ps2.

Posted
btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass)

728137[/snapback]

 

I'm thinking the 'aints... Reggie Bush should be fun. If you can argue that they're too good, then I got dibs on NYJ, just to run them into the ground. yup... Testeverde is starting.

Posted
I'm thinking the 'aints... Reggie Bush should be fun. If you can argue that they're too good, then I got dibs on NYJ, just to run them into the ground. yup... Testeverde is starting.

728142[/snapback]

 

no lions for you this year? i could always take the chargers again, but i think they may be too good.

Posted
Every year we make it appoint to take our time with each season and make it last. And every year season #2 gets simmed straight to the playoffs.

 

p.s. man I wish my girlfriend worked for 8-9 hours on any day. she's always around trying to keep me from the ps2.

728141[/snapback]

 

we usually do something similar. Set the teams up, play a chunk of season 1, and after the offseason, we sim season 2.

 

My girlfriend works at the mall, and since she can only work limited hours during the week due to classes, weekends is when she racks up big hours. Which means i rack up the big hours of college football and madden.

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