#89 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Subject: Prayers - female and male FEMALE PRAYER Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. Amen. MALE PRAYER I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh--. Amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 MALE PRAYER I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This Doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh--. Amen. 727777[/snapback] One change: I would want her to be able to hear so I would not have to learn how to sign "While you are up, get me a beer!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most. ---- Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, setting the standards high? One who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care One who thinks before he speaks, we think, just not the way you want us to One who'll call, not wait for weeks. weeks does not = boyfriend I pray he's gainfully employed, don't date him if he's not When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. blah, thats all girls see in men - their bank account Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" use a mirror I pray that this man will love me to no end, long as you do the same And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you Amen. i hate how meg ryan movies put all these idiotic unrealistic thoughts into girls heads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care 727870[/snapback] Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways 727870[/snapback] In defense of the ladies, there is something they do for us. Something really really great In fact, that is the only reason I bother with all the bullsh-- of a relationship Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english 727870[/snapback] could a lady please explain this one? Cuz the only thing that I can think of is, well the closest opening to your mind is your mouth. and well, i don't have a problem with that And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you 727870[/snapback] Men already have a best friend. And that best friend is better at catching things with their mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most. 727870[/snapback] Dude, stop at a pharmacy and get an industrial sized bottle of midol. You're a wee bit cranky today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 This is how girls think, and it pisses me off. I have to respond to the lines that I hated the most. ---- Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, setting the standards high? One who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, ie, can tune you out and pretend to care One who thinks before he speaks, we think, just not the way you want us to One who'll call, not wait for weeks. weeks does not = boyfriend I pray he's gainfully employed, don't date him if he's not When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. blah, thats all girls see in men - their bank account Pulls out my chair and opens my door, what do you do for him, releationships are two ways Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, what does this mean, please explain... in english Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" use a mirror I pray that this man will love me to no end, long as you do the same And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you Amen. i hate how meg ryan movies put all these idiotic unrealistic thoughts into girls heads 727870[/snapback] Is this post serious? Are you currently in a relationship? My wife had sworn off dating right before we met. Every guy she met was an immature douchebag only concerned about getting as much tail as he could, no matter the source. When an older, mature guy like myself entered the situation, she was stunned at how selfless and thoughtful I was. NO guy her age had ever acted like that before. It's attitudes like yours that gives guys a bad name, and make it immensly difficult for guys without an agenda to interact with women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Dude, stop at a pharmacy and get an industrial sized bottle of midol. You're a wee bit cranky today. 727894[/snapback] I might have been a little too annoyed by the girl this weekend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#89 Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 You guys are so easy to piss off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 better to be pissed off than pissed on . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Massages my back and begs to do more. my gf is a neverending massage vaccum, why bother - she's never sated And always be my very best friend. well get good at madden so I can enjoy doing something with you 727870[/snapback] Aint these the truth! Especially the madden comment. My girlfriend bought me madden last year and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBTG81 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Aint these the truth! Especially the madden comment. My girlfriend bought me madden last year and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made. 728091[/snapback] Mine said the same thing. She actually learned how to play though, which was cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Mine said the same thing. She actually learned how to play though, which was cool. 728099[/snapback] Not mine. Shes likes all of the zelda games and such. Shes dreading august 22 tho. (Not like i neglect her or anything, but she just cant see how she can go to work on a saturday for 8-9 hours and i can go to puhonix's and play madden the entire time shes working) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Not mine. Shes likes all of the zelda games and such. Shes dreading august 22 tho. (Not like i neglect her or anything, but she just cant see how she can go to work on a saturday for 8-9 hours and i can go to puhonix's and play madden the entire time shes working) 728102[/snapback] And we'll spend 4 hours doing the whole season, playing the superbowl, just to spend another 4 on the off season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 And we'll spend 4 hours doing the whole season, playing the superbowl, just to spend another 4 on the off season. 728130[/snapback] Well, thats half the fun right there. Its usually like 5 hrs if you hafta build a new stadium. And we only play the super bowl, because if we played the entire playoffs, you wouldnt make it to the super bowl. btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 You guys are so easy to piss off 727960[/snapback] Did you buy the fishing boat like I asked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drnykterstein Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Well, thats half the fun right there. Its usually like 5 hrs if you hafta build a new stadium. And we only play the super bowl, because if we played the entire playoffs, you wouldnt make it to the super bowl. btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass) 728137[/snapback] Every year we make it appoint to take our time with each season and make it last. And every year season #2 gets simmed straight to the playoffs. p.s. man I wish my girlfriend worked for 8-9 hours on any day. she's always around trying to keep me from the ps2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 btw - what sh------- teams are we taking this year? (no shots at the bills, ass) 728137[/snapback] I'm thinking the 'aints... Reggie Bush should be fun. If you can argue that they're too good, then I got dibs on NYJ, just to run them into the ground. yup... Testeverde is starting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 better to be pissed off than pissed on . 728022[/snapback] unless your name is R.Kelly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I'm thinking the 'aints... Reggie Bush should be fun. If you can argue that they're too good, then I got dibs on NYJ, just to run them into the ground. yup... Testeverde is starting. 728142[/snapback] no lions for you this year? i could always take the chargers again, but i think they may be too good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Every year we make it appoint to take our time with each season and make it last. And every year season #2 gets simmed straight to the playoffs. p.s. man I wish my girlfriend worked for 8-9 hours on any day. she's always around trying to keep me from the ps2. 728141[/snapback] we usually do something similar. Set the teams up, play a chunk of season 1, and after the offseason, we sim season 2. My girlfriend works at the mall, and since she can only work limited hours during the week due to classes, weekends is when she racks up big hours. Which means i rack up the big hours of college football and madden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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