Arkady Renko Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 (edited) Sun 09/10 @ New England Patriots CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose after leading by 14 in the 4thQ (0-1) Sun 09/17 @ Miami Dolphins CBS 1:00 PM Miami beats the Bills 17-3 as the Bills wilt in the summer heat (0-2) Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) Sun 10/8 @ Chicago Bears CBS 1:00 PM Bears beat the Bills 16-13. Also, my dog dies (2-3). Sun 10/15 @ Detroit Lions CBS 1:00 PM The Bills have the best game of the year so far, winning by two touchdowns. (3-3) Sun 10/22 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills lose again to the Patriots, but close until the 4th quarter. It also mirrors my family life as my new found alcoholism drives all those I love away. (3-4) Sun 11/05 GREEN BAY PACKERS FOX 1:00 PM Bills rebound well from the Patriots loss and beat the Packers soundly. My finances look they will be beaten soundly as I am fired from my part-time job for tardiness. (4-4) Sun 11/12 @ Indianapolis Colts CBS 1:00 PM The Bills again can't keep a streak going. I, however, can as I am able to shower for two straight days. (4-5) Sun 11/19 @ Houston Texans CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a stunner in Houston. I am stunned by a lawsuit from a fender bender. (4-6) Sun 11/26 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS CBS 1:00 PM Bills respond well to the losing streak and pull off an upset. If only that infection would respond to my antibiotics.... (5-6) Sun 12/3 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS CBS 1:00 PM Philip Rivers' has trouble with the Bills defense and the Bills WIN a low-scoring affair. I learn that my fiancee was having an affair for the past two years before she left me. (6-6) Sun 12/10 @ New York Jets CBS 1:00 PM Buffalo will be hungry for a victory and the Jets won't even know who their starting QB is. Hungry for some meaning in my life, I drop out of law school after blowing the semester's tuition. W (7-6) Sun 12/17 MIAMI DOLPHINS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills dominate the Dolphins and the Bills rout them again in the snow. Unfortunately, depression dominates my life and I have trouble finding anyone to hire me. (8-6) Sun 12/24 TENNESSEE TITANS CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a close one. (8-7) Sun 12/31 @ Baltimore Ravens CBS 1:00 PM Eliminated from the playoffs the week before, the Bills come out flat and lose. I also come out flat the first time I am with a woman since my fiancee left me. (8-8) Not a bad season for the Bills, I think. Edited July 17, 2006 by JohnnyB
Mickey Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 Sun 09/10 @ New England Patriots CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose after leading by 14 in the 4thQ (0-1) Sun 09/17 @ Miami Dolphins CBS 1:00 PM Miami beats the Bills 17-3 as the Bills wilt in the summer heat (0-2) Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) Sun 10/8 @ Chicago Bears CBS 1:00 PM Bears beat the Bills 16-13. Also, my dog dies (2-3). Sun 10/15 @ Detroit Lions CBS 1:00 PM The Bills have the best game of the year so far, winning by two touchdowns. (3-3) Sun 10/22 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills lose again to the Patriots, but close until the 4th quarter. It also mirrors my family life as my new found alcoholism drives all those I love away. (3-4) Sun 11/05 GREEN BAY PACKERS FOX 1:00 PM Bills rebound well from the Patriots loss and beat the Packers soundly. My finances look they will be beaten soundly as I am fired from my part-time job for tardiness. (4-4) Sun 11/12 @ Indianapolis Colts CBS 1:00 PM The Bills again can't keep a streak going. I, however, can as I am able to shower for two straight days. (4-5) Sun 11/19 @ Houston Texans CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a stunner in Houston. I am stunned by a lawsuit from a fender bender. (4-6) Sun 11/26 JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS CBS 1:00 PM Bills respond well to the losing streak and pull off an upset. If only that infection would respond to my antibiotics.... (5-6) Sun 12/3 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS CBS 1:00 PM Philip Rivers' has trouble with the Bills defense and the Bills lose a low-scoring affair. I learn that my fiancee was having an affair for the past two years before she left me. (6-6) Sun 12/10 @ New York Jets CBS 1:00 PM Buffalo will be hungry for a victory and the Jets won't even know who their starting QB is. Hungry for some meaning in my life, I drop out of law school after blowing the semester's tuition. W (7-6) Sun 12/17 MIAMI DOLPHINS CBS 1:00 PM The Bills dominate the Dolphins and the Bills rout them again in the snow. Unfortunately, depression dominates my life and I have trouble finding anyone to hire me. (8-6) Sun 12/24 TENNESSEE TITANS CBS 1:00 PM Bills lose a close one. (8-7) Sun 12/31 @ Baltimore Ravens CBS 1:00 PM Eliminated from the playoffs the week before, the Bills come out flat and lose. I also come out flat the first time I am with a woman since my fiancee left me. (8-8) Not a bad season for the Bills, I think. 724109[/snapback] One quibble: You have them going from 5-6 to 6-6 after "losing a close one" to the Chargers. After adjusting for that error, they finish 7-9.
R. Rich Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 In JohnnyB's scenario, the Bills would go 3-2 in the games I attend this year. Wow.
Phlegm Alley Posted July 17, 2006 Posted July 17, 2006 If the Bills success mirrored your personal success, I think we are going to be in for a long year. And you might jump off a bridge.
ExWNYer Posted July 18, 2006 Posted July 18, 2006 Sun 09/24 NEW YORK JETS CBS 1:00 PM Bills hold on to an early lead and win. Unfortunately, my fiancee leaves me for another man. (1-2). Sun 10/01 MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOX 1:00 PM Bills make it two in a row, beating the Vikes on a late TD drive. The depression of losing the love of my life makes me stop leaving my apartment and stop going to the law school. (2-2) I definitely agree with two of these: 1) Starting in 1988 the Bills are 16-3 for my "annual pilgrimage" (two games in both '98 & '01). I coming up for the Minnesota game. Chalk it up. 2) Currently, Vegas has your fiancee leaving you at 2-1. I'm in for a grand.
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