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Posted
But we don't make simple spelling mistakes here.  We only make egregiously complex spelling mistakes...

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With the new system, they won't be mistakes anymore!

Posted

They do have a valid point. I feel sorry for anyone trying to learn English spellings when they are native speakers of another language.

 

I don't think Italians or Spaniards have spelling bees, after all.

 

But... with a simplified spelling system, there would be less separation between me and other Internet posters. It would be hard to find something else to hang my hat on.

Posted
Build a foolproof language, and I guarantee you a fool will pop up here and find a new and different way to completely butcher it.

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You can't build anything that's foolPROOF. :P

 

Foolresistant is possible, but a determined fool will defeat the best of engineering/design in almost all cases.

Posted
I don't think Italians or Spaniards have spelling bees, after all.

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Of course not. They're called Spelling Abejas.

Posted

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

 

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they should go away.

 

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

 

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

Posted

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

 

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

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:P

 

Ah, hr koms th frth rike!

Posted
I was pretty sure you were asking me specifically.

 

I'm also surprised no one jumped all over my misspelling of "grammar" yet.  :D

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Dammit...I was just about to.

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