WWVaBeach Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Subject: Camel Sex A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sometimes the men have "urges." That's why we have the Molly. The Camel." The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges." The camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges" and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly. When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?", No not really, sir.. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
EC-Bills Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Subject: Camel Sex A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sometimes the men have "urges." That's why we have the Molly. The Camel." The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges." The camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges" and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly. When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?", No not really, sir.. "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are." 708266[/snapback]
WWVaBeach Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 No Sex Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the >> Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now." (Don't ya love military time?!)
Beerball Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 No Sex Since 1955A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the >> Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." "The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now." 708748[/snapback] So they entered some type of time machine?
inkman Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 So they entered some type of time machine? 708753[/snapback] Nah, the guy was just a 175 years old. You see, technology in the future... p.s. Can someone please put words to these:
Beerball Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 p.s. Can someone please put words to these: 708754[/snapback] happy, sleepy and no effin way
inkman Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 happy, sleepy and no effin way 708757[/snapback] I guess I just needed to move my mouse...too much work...thanks!
WWVaBeach Posted June 15, 2006 Author Posted June 15, 2006 There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story?????............................ And the moral is ...You can't kill two birds with one stone
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