Jon in Pasadena Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Thank you, Tom, for letting us know. I suspected something might be amiss. Paul and I had just recently started up an email dialogue and I truly enjoyed our brief interaction. He was always extremely courteous to me in our exchanges. I was looking forward to meeting him in person, some day. Damn.
Fezmid Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Paul and I had our civil liberties disagreements, but he never stopped to personal insults and I really appreciate that (others here could take some lessons, myself included). In honor of his love of food, be sure to check out the four recipes he posted on our cookbook: BiB Wings Fried Chicken Low Country Boil Sweet Potato Pie I think he'd want nothing more than for us to enjoy his food. A shame he can't make it for us. CW
KnightRider Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Stunning and sad. A loss for this board, and a loss for our country. Rest in Peace.
BILLS4LIFE Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Dear god. I only knew him on the board,but we PMed each other frequently. RIP Paul
IBTG81 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I know I posted earlier, but I've been bothered by this all day. Paul and I would PM each other quite often, whether we were talking about life, sports, etc. I knew I could always get a straight and honest answer from him, as he would always have the best intentions. When his wife passed, Paul sent me some wonderful pictures of the two of them. I even showed my fiancee (I always talk to her about TBD), and stated I hope we look like that one day. I never told him, and I'm kicking myself for it. There is a song by the Barenaked Ladies called "War On Drugs". The song is about suicide. To make a long story short, Steve (lead singer) grew up in Toronto, near some huge viaduct. It soon became the suicide capital of the world. Toronto, in their infinite wisdom, spent millions of dollars constructing a giant net to catch people. So, what did people do? Moved on to the next bridge down the road and that became the suicide capital of the world. What's the point? The point is, when someone is depressed, severely upset, or sees no hope, they are willing to do anything to escape the pain. I wish I could have seen something, as we all probably do. In a strange way, I'm happy for Paul, because he is suffering no more. Selfishly though, I miss him, and always will. Here are the lyrics to the song...There is a particulary touching emotional phrase which I've bolded. She likes to sleep with the radio on So she can dream of her favorite song The one that no one has ever sung since she was small She'll never know that she made it up She had a soul and we ate it up Thrown away like a paper cup The music falls The only flaw in her detailed plan Is where she wins back the love of her man Everyone knows that he's never coming back He took her heart and she took his name He couldn't stand taking all the blame He left her only with guilt and shame and then she cracked Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves Of all these demons haunting us To keep us company In the dream I refuse to have She falls asleep in a lukewarm bath We're left to deal with the aftermath again On behalf of humanity I will fight for your sanity How profound such profanity can be Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves Of all these demons haunting us To keep us company Won't it be odd to be happy like we Always thought we're supposed to feel But never seem to be Near where I live there's a viaduct Where people jump when they're out of luck Raining down on the cars and trucks below They've put a net there to catch their fall Like it'll stop anyone at all What they don't know is when nature calls, you go They say that Jesus and mental health Are just for those who can help themselves But what good is that when you live in hell on earth? From the very fear that makes you want to die Is just the same as what keeps you alive It's way more trouble than some suicide is worth Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves Of all these demons haunting us To keep us company Won't it be odd to be happy like we Always thought we're supposed to feel But never seem to be Hard to admit I fought the war on drugs My hands were tied and the phone was bugged Another died and the world just shrugged it off
IBTG81 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 A tidbit I left out earlier... It's odd what sticks with you and what you forget. He probably had well over 10k posts with his various handles, but a couple of threads about wine and service stuck in my noggin'. I remember, not to long ago, Paul making the point that he could take someone out to dinner and know what wine to order. He felt that it was important and that fact stuck with me for some reason. Paul was a throw back to another generation. A guy that you could have dinner with, talk world politics, music, etc... He could then tell you the top 25 ways to kill your enemy and then request another bottle of Chteau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac from the restaurant's private reserve. I think it was a part of his southern hospitality to make sure his dinner guests fully enjoyed themselves. He took it upon himself to make sure he had the knowledge to do that. He was both a man's man and gentleman at the same time. Coupled with his love for good food and wine was his appreciation of good service and the need to show that appreciation with a generous tip. He was a gentleman that knew the server was just as important to the evening as what was on his plate, what was in his glass, and who was in the chair next to him. A good tipper doesn't necessarily make you a good person, but I haven't come across a good tipper who wasn't... That's it. Just two more memories that have been running through my head this afternoon. 700173[/snapback] Good post Scott. Totally true.
OGTEleven Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Like many others, I have never met Paul but feel enriched for having known him anyway. I feel grateful to him for his work on behalf of our country and was always intrigued with his perspective and his wit. I will try to take little things I've learned from him with me. Rest in Peace Paul. Tom, Thanks for letting us know in such an eloquent way. And thanks to those who have posted in this thread so lovingly.
Tcali Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Some time around May 13th Paul Lewczyk, known to most of you as Ghost of BiB, took his own life. As many of us know, Paul was devastated by the loss of his wife Darlene two years ago this month and despite the support of friends, including many of us here, was never able to move past the loss. Paul was a friend of mine and my wife's; we often got together for football, or dinner, to shoot pool, the occasional baseball game...we knew him as not a perfect man, but a good man, with a genuinely caring soul, and someone who was geniunely humble, yet intelligent and talented (he was no slouch on the guitar by any means, and quite a good cook). Over the past few years we and others had done everything we could to help him come to terms with the tragedy he sufferred, and now ourselves have to come to terms with his death, reconciling all we did, could do, and could think to do for him with the guilt that we couldn't somehow do more, a guilt that's inevitable and perfectly natural when someone takes their own life. Those of us left to grieve are invariably left asking why Paul would do this. Clinically speaking, studies have shown that the "why" of suicide almost universally reduce to one thing: poor impulse control caused by the biochemical changes inherent in a depressed mind. As such, the "why" of Paul's action is fundamentally irrelevent: "why" ultimately amounts to trying not to understand the rationale behind a decision, but literally the lack of any rationale behind the lack of a decision...to understand a mind so physically affected by grief and loss that it was functionally unable to decide against the impulse for self-destruction. To ask "why" is to ask not why someone chooses death, but why someone fails to choose life; to ask what drives a mind to the point where the distinction becomes so blurred as to be irrelevent. In this case, there can be only one answer. Paul Lewczyk is dead because he loved his wife. And a better epitaph, a man could hardly ask for. Goodbye, friend. ----------------------------------------------- Information as to funeral or memorial services, I do not yet have, sorry. As I get information, I will be sure to share it. 699989[/snapback] DC Tom--that was just perfectly written--because it was straight from the heart. I didn't know him but am still very touched.
GoodBye Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Wow.....He was one of the first people to make me feel welcome on here. My stalker. I will miss you Bib.
ajzepp Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 LanaK6 just sent me a PM asking me if I'd seen this thread. She sent me a link, I saw Paul's handle associated with it and I was eager to see what he was posting about. I've grown accustomed to talking with him in the daytime over the past year or two, and it felt like a while since I'd heard from him. This is the last thing I expected to read. Like the rest of you, I am in absolutely shock. He and I would be disagreeing and busting each others nuts one minute, and then talking about pretty girls, great movies, and the Atlanta Braves the next. God bless you, Paul.....
Bill from NYC Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 This is absolutely crushing. I spoke to Paul a few times. The guy was no joke. RIP my friend.
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